Dear “It Works”:
You’re ruining my Instagram feed.
Seriously. Just stick one of those bestsellers over your mouth for a minute and hear me out.
When in the hell did every other person on Instagram become an It Works pusher?
What’s the deal?
I’m all for tactfully selling your product/service via the world wide web (does anyone call it that anymore? just me?) but this is getting ridiculous.
I can’t take it. It’s all too much.
You do know that every time you contact me about your products, you’re basically saying “hey, fatty, you need this”. Well crap. I’ve got enough issues with my post-two-babies-body that I don’t need you reminding me that I still have a pouch, cellulite and saddlebags (btw, thanks for making me write that on the internet, asshole).
Unless I can use above-mentioned wraps to restrain my trantruming toddler or swaddle my screaming baby, I am NOT interested.
My hair, skin and nails are just fine thank you. Minus the falling out, redness and peeling. Whatever. Stop judging me.
Here’s the deal: if I look at your Instagram profile and see more products than selfies, I’m NOT following you. If I look at your profile and see that every other post is urging people to join your team, I’m NOT following you. Yes, I know I could make a bajillion dollars by becoming a fellow-pusher, but then, no one would like me anymore.
Also, just because I liked your picture or commented on a non-product related picture (which I did because I thought you genuinely liked and commented on one of mine) does NOT mean I want a direct message from you urging me to join your team.
Let’s get back to pics of your kid making a face, the sandwich you ate for lunch, the tree outside your front door or the shoes you wore yesterday.
**you can substitute “It Works” for pretty much any of those ‘products’… you know the ones I mean**
***yes, I know I ask you to read my blog, but that’s free and at least I’m not calling you fat. Also, it’s not every.single.flipping.post. So there.***
Don’t be a pusher.
Sorry if I hurt your feelings. Let me wrap you in a hug… it’s 40% off, for a limited time ONLY and I only have 2 spots left.
That is all.
Off to go take a post-workout selfie with my cute baby and drink my shakeology while burning essential oils.
JUST kidding…. not about the baby part.
About the author: Shaunacey Bonneville blogs over at www.simplyshaunacey.com. She survives primarily on coffee, red wine and the hope that she will one day sleep again. In the meantime, she blogs from home in an effort to maintain what is left of her sanity. She’s currently being held captive by her two small children (please send help… in the form of coffee… or wine). Follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.