A Few Things I Would Vote For Instead of Trump 2020

susie b cross

5 years ago

A can of creamed corn
a Q-tip
Line dancing in gym class
The Epilady
Charo
Hammer toes
A pierced nether region
Expressions like “you do you”
A porcelain figurine
A mollusk
A pigeon in a pillbox hat
Three cocktail weenies
A giblet
Words I forget how to pronounce like ‘scythe’ or ‘schism’ or ‘oeuvre’
A genuine shrunken head
Esperanto
Danny Trejo’s mustache
A sea cucumber
The sound “tsk tsk tsk”
An under-ripe cantaloupe
A Hello Kitty pencil
Circus peanuts
An Allen wrench
A handful of skin flakes
The Great Gazoo
Three more cocktail weenies
A bust of Margaret Thatcher
A wonky eye
Whichever ‘Rocky’ had the Russian in it
A Royal Caribbean cruise
Aunt Evelyn’s Waldorf salad
A boy named Sue
Over-eyecontact
Any muppet, but preferably Gonzo
A robin’s egg
A Swedish meatball
Lots of chin hairs
The garter part of a wedding reception
Chisanbop
A cornhusk doll
That piña colada song followed by that mony mony song
Spritz cookies
Sea monkeys
A walnut coupled with a brazil nut
‘Goodnight Moon’. Again. And again.
Vin Diesel
Nougat
Alanis Morrissette lyrics
A caboodle
A Barbie shoe
Vegemite
A pointy stick
An invitation to attend a neighbor’s church
Violet Beauregarde
A small unplayable trombone
A lone acorn
Shirley Temple and ‘Bojangles’ Robinson dance scenes
Carrot Top’s eyebrows
Velveeta
The word ‘moist’
Something moist
A recurring nightmare where my teeth fall out
A goiter
A knuckle
Tony Orlando and/or Dawn
Saran wrap
Grout
The nickname ‘Crusty’
Danny Zuko
Gluten-free pasta
A Milwaukee Badgers shot glass
Rosemary’s baby
A fanciful ascot
A sparrow
A chicken bone
Any Thomas Kinkade painting
An empty Pringles can
A stale hotdog bun
The tiger that attacked Siegfried or Roy
Salad tongs
That fish with human teeth
A lecture on abstinence