Shit. You just woke up in searing abdominal pain and your crotch is full of clots. What’s the first thing you do? Well, if you live in an…
“What’s that smell?” is always an ominous phrase regardless of the person asking the question. Nine times out of ten, the source of such an unsavory miasma can…
My 13-year old recently started taking The Pill. I know what you’re probably thinking: Thirteen is awfully young to be sexually active and what kind of shitty mother…
I was seventeen years old when I met the boy who would forever own the title of “My First Love.” He was a high school senior with light…
The war on Christmas has begun once again, as it always does this time of year. Tis’ the season for incessant Facebook declarations that proudly state along with…
My Funky Little Monkey-Butt, Your car is packed full of everything you own and it’s sitting in the driveway, patiently waiting to whisk you off toward your future…
When I was younger and relatively inexperienced in the ways of love and good sex, I read Cosmopolitan magazine religiously. Coming of age as the internet was barely…
The most unfortunate consequence of life is death. As we meander our way through midlife, the inevitability of catastrophic loss becomes more tangible with every passing year. We…
Sometimes when I look back upon my childhood using the eyes of the mother I now am, I really want to ask my own mother one question: “Were…
This post is sponsored by Mile IQ, but all of my opinions are my own. I don’t know about you, but as a work-from-home writer…