Winter is coming. Actually it is already here. So that means we are in for blizzards, power outages and an all-out epidemic of cabin fever. Fear not, I have come up with activities for the whole family as you ride out snowdrifts, gale-force winds, and whining, with or without electricity.
- Brave the elements in search of C batteries for the 7 non-working flashlights you found in the bottom of your kids’ toy box. This search should take approximately 4 hours and yield exactly 2 batteries.
- Tune into the Weather Channel and play drinking games with the forecast. Each time someone says “Jonas” everyone drinks. If they show a picture of one of the Jonas brothers, drink twice. In the event of a power outage, see #6.
- Have ice cream for breakfast. This is not bad parenting (hello… dairy) it’s doomsday prep genius. Throwing away a partially eaten, thawed ice cream container chips away at my soul. #benandjerryforpresident
- Offer cold hard cash to the first kid who can scrounge up enough cords to charge everyone’s phones and the iPad before the electricity goes out.
- Turn on ice maker as soon as you awake. Make kids help pack a cooler with drinks under the pretense that you’re teaching them an essential survival skill. This is partially true because, in this case, your survival depends on it.
- If you lose power, continue the drinking game with a new prompt. Each time a kid asks when the power is coming back, everyone drinks.
- Convince your kids they get extra credit in history class if they do homework by candlelight like pioneer children. #littlehouseontheprairie
- Practice math by placing bets on how many times you’ll pick up the landline forgetting that it’s useless without power. Probability, odds and fractions- Boom! These kids are ready for the SAT.
- Let the kids play flashlight tag inside the house. If you’re lucky, they’ll hide forever.
- Create homemade costumes and crafts. Bahahaha. Psych! I can’t even type that with a straight face. Crafts are bad enough because glitter. Crafts by flashlight–with all due respect to Pinterest– are my own personal nightmare.
So, settle in for some old-fashioned family time. Here’s hoping the patter of the sleet on the roof is not drowned out by the whining underneath it. Cheers!