Our daughter is a teenager. As teenagers go, so far we think she is pretty great. She is also a big pain in the ass and the reason…
Dear 20-something-hot-yoga instructor, I get it. In your world, time is meaningless. According to you, we are all just “here,” passengers simply observing and reflecting on the gifts…
I hate self-checkout. I hate it so much that you’ll never convince me Satan himself wasn’t on the engineering design team. My local market only opens one “manned…
I have seen a bit of porn in my time and let’s just say, it always left me with an overall feeling of…. REALLY? You kidding me, right?…
The other day my 14 year-old daughter walked into my bedroom and flopped on my bed. I saw that she was a little watery-eyed and sniffling. When I…
I have no reason to be physically unfit. I guess what I mean by that is I have no excuse for my Jabba the Hutt predilections. I’m a…
It’s been a bloody awful day. Aunt Flo showed up for a surprise visit. She was 3 days early. Bitch. A lot of other women get at least some…
It’s that season again. No, I don’t mean the holiday season–I mean cold and flu season. Oh, how I’d freaking LOVE to barricade myself in my warm, safe…
As a child of the enlightened generation, I’ve never understood how someone could smoke cigarettes knowing how cell-crushingly awful they are for your body. These days, smokers have…
2015 was a year with a cornucopia of non-newsworthy stories that somehow caught fire. It is here, in the smoldering ashes of this garbage news, that a breed…