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Congratulations! You’re an idiot.

As a society, we appear to be getting dumber, and the media has noticed.

Some authors have attempted to write thought provoking articles on the subject. Unfortunately, many of these “articles” read like bullet point lists. I snicker at the irony and comedy of this.

Why are we not smart?

You following me with the level of dumbass?

If I had to judge by social media, we are capable of assimilating no more than five bullet points at one time.

I’d also like to add the media itself to their own bullet point lists, but some ‘witty git’ would probably think I was only talking about The Onion. Surely I couldn’t possibly be including any news outlet that takes Ann Coulter seriously.

That stuff about Canada not participating in Vietnam? Liberal disinformation at its finest. You’re going to argue with me? WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

Have you noticed that, ever since 9/11 happened, disagreeing with someone with a big mouth and a brain full of Mr. Noodle seems to make you a flag-burner?

Maybe it’s just me.

Poor Bill Nye. He’s like the real life Ned Stark, yelling about winter coming while everyone is far more concerned about who the Kardashians—er, King Robert, is shtupping. He’s a David taking on a bunch of Goliaths, only these Gigantors have hard heads impervious to stones. And logic.

That was a debate on climate change? Bill Nye didn’t have to even get out of bed for that one… I was thoroughly equipped to fill in for him with all my background training as a mom. I could have rebutted half of Marsha’s statements with “If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”

Apparently.

It doesn’t matter what the current bone of contention is. Gay rights, gun laws, education, global warming, who won WWII, the age of the universe, or what colour comes out when you pick your nose—someone attempts to speak in coherent sentences, and automatically some nutjob stands up and declares him a ‘fucking liberal.’

What. The. Eff.

I mean, I get that there’s a bit of a natural party division in some things like abortion and whatever. But whenever anything REMOTELY backed by science comes up, it appears to automatically becomes a war on right wingers that must be defended with God-given, 2nd-Amendment-blessed semi-automatics, miniature flags, propaganda and logical fallacies.

There’s no middle ground. No happy place where faith and science and politics can get along. The thing that really melts my brain is that few Republicans, if any, are standing up and saying, “don’t mind my buddy here; we’re not all banging stones together and picking lice out of each other’s coats.”

Surely there are some reasonable Republicans out there? Why are you being so quiet??

Scientists who are figuring out cures for AIDS and the mysteries of black holes should be considered the coolest people alive. But everyone is watching Honey Boo Boo and her train-wreck family in an episode of “reality tv” about eating road kill.

If you made it to this sentence all the way down here, congratulations! There’s sunshine and hope in the universe after all. You probably own some books as part of your liberalist agenda to promote your special brand of evil enlightenment. Use those books to beat the next person who calls deep fried potatoes “Freedom fries” or says that global warming is good, ’cause plants use carbon dioxide.

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