Doormat Moms – we do not approve of you and mock you behind your back
You might be a doormat Mom if:
- You call your son “Buddy” in that whiny little voice hoping he might cooperate when you are imploring him to turn off his video game and come to dinner, he ignores you….
- You have asked your daughter 4 times to come and help with dinner and she rolls her eyes and snaps her gum in response
- Your husband comes home from hunting and while he and the kids play x-box, you are out in the driveway scrubbing deer guts from the bed of his pickup truck.
If this looks like your life, you need an intervention girlfriend. I mean how the hell did you get here? You used to be cool, guys liked you and you had plans. That cute little figure snagged you the captain of the rugby team and now you have the honour of scraping his crusty undergarments off the bathroom floor.
You may even have given up your middling career aspirations for this gig, and now your children push you around and you let them.
If you think your subservience is somehow setting your kids up to have great lives, think about it for a minute. You are you teaching your sons that women don’t need to be respected, and your daughters that they shouldn’t expect any personal authority in their own homes.
Listen here sister, I am going to help you out… you are the Mom. You did hard labour or something like it to make that family, and you aren’t in this to be the tooth fairy baby. Your family needs a leader and chances are pretty good your husband is unqualified to run the show.
Here are things doormat Moms say:
- Oh, I am really easy going so things just don’t bother me
- Little Bertram just gets into a mood and there is nothing I can do with him
- I just can’t seem to get any time to myself the kids always need me
Really? Maybe you just forgot your girl-balls somewhere. Think Mike Tyson not Glenda the good witch….
Here are a few ways to turn the wimpy truck around or at least shake it up a bit. Try randomly yelling once in while. Just go all postal on them when they are ignoring you they will remember and think twice about it before they disrespect you again. Also, don’t clean your man’s truck… ever. In fact, when your car gets low on gas, take his and leave him yours. Teach your children to cook, and then let them do it once in a while, you aren’t the housemaid. And just for good measure, next Saturday do only your own laundry.
If your kids are over the age of four and don’t have regular chores, you have a problem. If your husband isn’t trying to think of ways to please you, then you need a refresher course on marriage.
It might surprise you, but Moms around you talk about what a pushover you are. They think you are nice, but they don’t really like your kids because you are turning them into spoiled jerks.
If you don’t work outside the home, get a job. Nothing messes with the power balance more than money. And remember – children are small humans who need somebody to follow, show them a happy leader not an oppressed wimp.
Need a little boost to get you through? Answer ever objection from any family member with this, and do it loudly with crazy eyes!
“BECA– USE I AM THE MOM”
Advice with a twist: www.magnoliaripkin.com
1 Comment
I enjoyed a fair amount of what was written here… save for the man-bashing. A lot of the time, the men (including me) become pretty disillusioned with marriage, if and when the once-wife-now-mom sloughs off her initial and uber-important position as wife, team member and adult friend, in favor of being some semblance of the world’s best mom.
We lost our favorite person to these tiny demanding humans- and while I understand that maternal instinct can be stronger than just about any other force or material in the known universe, we husbands are still here… waving and winking at you, randomly groping you repeatedly out of sight of the kids’ eyes because we’re still nutso about you, post-baby weight or not… but they’re AWLAYS around, and we get shoved to the side. And when that happens? That’s a betrayal of the first order.
*That’s* when the flowers/gifts/little helpful things dwindle away. That’s when the husband starts throwing up his hands and finds other interests to pursue (NOT other women, unless they are just sucky men *anyway*)- after we find a way to gently say ‘Hey babe– why not send the kids outside/to the play room/ANYwhere for a while, take a break and chill with me?’ for the umpteenth time… but nope.
She’s doing the kids’ laundry or sewing a patch on their vest/sash, or playing with *them*.
Even though she has a mountain of her own laundry to do (which we’re not allowed to do for them, because we somehow ruin the clothes no matter how closely we follow their directions), 15 messages from friends she hasn’t answered in a week, and complains about being exhausted all the time…
Yeah. The toll it takes on the marital bond is way too much. It’s painful to watch my wife bend over backwards for these tiny greed-bags, just to be treated like a nonentity until they want something else 5 seconds after the last thing they demanded… It’s heartbreaking– and attempts to correct or defend her get shot down *by* her, in defense of these little people– and because we, the husband(s), are grown adults, we’re just supposed to accept and understand and roll along with it, or we’re sh*tty husbands?
No thanks.
Plenty of we husbands try to keep the magic alive with our wives, but they become moms, and forget US. So don’t lump us all together, and drop the man-bashing snark. Sh*t like that does nothing for your feminist position.
Otherwise, good post!