Go Back to Drivers Ed, Idiot

Dear Road Rager,

You’re a dick.

First of all, get off the fucking road, call a cab and go home and read your drivers handbook. You know, the one you read when you were 16ish, horny and memorized just enough to pass the test? Yeah, that one, because I think you forgot more than you remembered.

Tonight when you failed to yield when coming onto the highway and almost ran me into oncoming traffic really sucked. Remember that? Because I do.

For your reading pleasure… for ramps that have posted ‘yield’ signs, the responsibility is with the driver of the vehicle entering the highway to yield the right of way to the driver already on the highway. See? You suck!

I also remember how you then proceeded to tailgate me with your HIGH BEAMS on. Asshole.

Here’s a bit of a refresher: Headlights are equipped with the option to use a high beam to enhance vision further down the roadway and the use of a low beam when you are near other vehicles to minimize the glare of your headlights onto others. Use your low beams when you are less than 60 metres behind another vehicle unless you are passing it. These rules apply to all roads, including divided ones. Sixty metres? Ha. I doubt that you were 60 inches from my bumper, Asshat.

While I’m on the subject, here are a few tips that I’m sure you don’t know either:

• Do not change lanes in or very near to a crosswalk, only donkeys do that…
• If you are turning, try to stick to one lane. Don’t start off in one lane and end up in the other. That’s just stupid.
• Try to Google the signs for when you can and when you can’t turn when facing a red light at the intersection. It’s not that tough.

So I hope I’ve given you enough reason to brush up on your road skills. Here’s my final piece of advice, ask your wife if you are a good driver. I can’t wait to hear her answer!

Signed,

A Concerned Motorist who wants to run YOU off the road next time