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Happy Birthday Baby

I give blow jobs on birthdays.  It’s my thing.

Oh Christ, don’t get me wrong, I don’t suck off everyone on their birthday.

Just my husband.  It’s our thing.

Oh, I know there are other BLUNTmom’s that perform oral sex on a very normal basis. But, not me.

Nope.

I’m not in high school   I’m an adult.  And I choose to not suck dick.

Why you ask? Why wouldn’t I want to please my husband this way? because I don’t want to anymore.  I have sucked that train dry. I don’t give blow jobs because I don’t want to anymore.

Except on birthdays.

There are even Birthdays that I conveniently forget.

When my once a year duty to get down on my knees passes to the wayside.

And I feel bad about it. Guilty even.

So, I created the one week blow job pass.

After my husbands birthday he has one week to claim his  5 minutes of slobbery sucking glory.  After that it is forfeited for an entire year.

Sucks to be you, buddy.

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