Although many of us have dubious relationships with our parental units, once we have children, some of that changes. Not all of it of course and sometimes the worst bits don’t get better, but we gave them grandchildren, so at some level we become golden.
The most perfect of all possible human relationships is that of Grandparent and Grandchild. They love each other for merely existing. They accept each other completely in a state of grace that says “you are perfect in all ways and I will indulge your every whim”.
Of course those self same Grandparents sometimes spend an inordinate amount of time telling us what flawed parents we are, or that our children aren’t as well raised as we were. They stand there in their polyester pants gazing disapprovingly into our pantries judging the nutrition of “their” grandchildren. They question our choices and generally make us crawl into the nearest liquor store crying for enough liquid to make it stop screeching in our ears…
However, the babies, the grandchildren, the perfect little beings live in the light of beauty and tolerance that we have never seen emanate from the parents. From the perspective of the children themselves, the best Grandparent time is any old time, but maybe if that time is spent at the toy store. They wallow in the sunshine of approval and acceptance with no rules to follow and lots of candy to eat. Really the symbiosis is perfect in every way if the Grandparents are good, and part of the children’s lives.
It does give all of us Moms a sense of smug satisfaction to see our parents helpless in the grip of the cuteness of our children as they rule their world. At least I would hope that is how it goes. Families can be whole, or fractured. They can be functional, or not at all. I would hope that every child has somebody who is that perfect love in their life, where the rules are elastic, candy is ok before noon, and the hugs are soft and frequent.
Oh and do I have plans when I become a Grandmother…
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