I Judge You When You Are in Front Of Me In the Drive Thru at Starbucks

A few months ago I posted a rant on Facebook about cars in front of me in the Starbucks drive-thru line buying non-caffeinated bullshit. My friend commented in an LOL sort of way that it’s JUST coffee, so I hid her from my timeline and thought about just how wrong she was.

 I freely admit that the line at the Starbucks drive-thru can make or break any of the mornings we have to be more than two places. My three year-old sometimes shouts my order out from the backseat because he senses the urgency.  I have the patience to wait in a long drive-thru line for coffee as long as I’m behind people who actually belong in it.

 If this describes you, then you don’t belong in front of me in the line:

•  You’re in the mood for hearty oatmeal, hot cocoa, or a grilled cheese that takes a millennium in line up time. 
•  You’re in the drive-thru line because you think the barista at the window is cute. Creepy. 
•  There are no children’s car seats in your car. 
•  Your minivan is full of tweens who want something sweet that “tastes like a milkshake.”
•  You’re trying to cart Zulily on your phone and leaving more than a car’s length between you and the car in front of you.
•  You don’t know what a Venti is and you hate coffee.

If any of the above applies to you, park your dilly-dallying ass, and go loiter inside with people that have time for it. Better yet, just come back later during one of those silly frappuccino happy hours or my kids’ naptime. Don’t order cake pops or a panini in the drive-thru and think you can make up for it by buying me a coffee either. Screw paying it forward. The only thing I want going forward is the car in front of me.

It’s NOT just coffee.

Kate Griffin is a writer, crafter, blogger, and stay at home mom to two kids, and a viszla. She has moved at least every three years since marrying a Marine and doesn’t believe in moderation when it comes to sarcasm or gingham. Kate is the creator of Eating in the Shower, a blog that’s not about eating or showering and has been featured on Disney Family, Apartment Therapy, Huffington Post, and SpouseBuzz. If you think something she wrote is about you, it probably is. When she’s not eating cake or drinking wine Kate shares crafts, DIYs, and parenting stories on Facebook and Twitter.