Just Say No To Leprechaun Traps!

I love fun holidays! You’ll probably never meet another person that loves Halloween more than me, there’s something magical about the pride I feel on the 4th of July, and I’ve even learned to embrace Christmas more in recent years. But, you know what I’m not going to do? Make fuckin’ leprechaun traps with my kids for St. Patty’s Day!

Nope. We’re not doing it. Ever.

Oh, you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? Let me enlighten you… leprechaun traps are elaborately decorated shoe boxes, food boxes or some other box-shaped device used to “catch” a magical leprechaun that supposedly visits your home the night before Saint Patrick’s Day to cause some kind of mischief and if caught in the trap, the little guy has to grant the trapper three wishes. Of course, the leprechaun can never actually be captured, so parents usually leave some kind of chocolates wrapped in golden paper or other trinkets left by the little creature as a token of good fortune instead. I know a few people that take it to the next level and put green food coloring in the toilet signifying that the leprechaun has visited and pissed before he left because that’s so much fun to see right? Also, some parents have painted or palmed green “footprints” on tables and countertops to plant evidence of the leprechaun’s visit, similar to Santa Claus eating cookies.

It’s supposed to be all in good fun and to celebrate the joy that is St. Patty’s Day with our children, but friends, it’s too much! I mean c’mon. We’re just coming off of the chaos of Christmas, then we jumped right into all of these new expectations loaded on us with Valentine’s Day. Now we have to concoct some kind of grand scheme for a tiny little mystical creature that’ll visit our house between Santa and the Easter bunny, plus visits from the Tooth Fairy in between?

No thanks! Count me out.

I’m not really sure the lineage behind this thing, but I think it was pretty much cooked up by modern-day moms and dads (and greeting card companies) as a way to fill the void between Valentine’s Day and Easter because I certainly don’t remember this being a thing 20 years ago when I was a kid. I mean hey, I love the actual holiday that is St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve even done that DNA test that tells you your genetic makeup and I’m over 50% Irish. Plus, being raised Catholic amongst a community of mostly descendants of the Irish didn’t hinder my love for the holiday either. Oh, and did I mention I hate snakes?

Yet, I cannot condone this trap setting bullshit. Can we just talk about the creep factor of it? Have you ever seen any of the “Leprechaun” horror movies? That’s what I picture when I imagine trying to capture a leprechaun and Jesus Christ! No way do I want to wake up to that fucker stuck in my house!

Joking aside, moms need to give ourselves a little slack on this holiday stuff! We are pushed to bake this for that class celebration, plan over the top birthday parties, spend more than we can afford at Christmas and make everything Pinterest perfect for every occasion under the sun. I’m sorry but no. I’m not participating in this one. I have to draw the line somewhere!

You bet your ass I’ll be rockin’ my green on March 17th and I’ll raise my kids to appreciate the holiday for its deep ties to our Christian beliefs and Irish heritage, but this is one fad I will not follow. Well, this and anything to do with that damn Elf.

This is one added pressure that none of us need to throw on our already massive to-do lists. Your kids will still have fun on St. Patty’s Day and they’ll also still love you despite the fact that you aren’t trying to help them capture a clever, feisty little man-like character in a box. Just say no mama. Just say no.

Bio:
Britt is a married mom of two young children from New York. She is a stay at home parent, freelance writer and human services specialist. When she’s not chasing her kids around or writing, she enjoys Netflix, traveling and vampire slaying. You can find her at www.thebombsahm.com and www.facebook.com/thebombsahm.