Three weeks ago, I was having anxiety. I was feeling incredibly sick. I knew why. But, I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t want other people to know that the thought of having to hang out with my kids for Spring Break was making me hate my life.
So there.
I said it.
I feel like shit for even saying it.
But, I don’t feel like shit today. And its not because my daughter goes back to school tomorrow. It’s because it was awesome. I relaxed, I laughed, I enjoyed and I had fun with my children.
Our Spring Break is 2 weeks long and we made the decision to stay home. Disneyland was not an option, and honestly, it may never be. Flying to Phoenix was out of the picture. Even taking a weekend trip to Calgary was not going to pan out for us.
So, I put my “Let’s Rock This Thing” pants on and sat down with my 6 year old daughter and we made a list. We made a list of all the things she wanted to do for Spring Break. We hung the list on the kitchen cupboard and then we kicked the shit out of that list.
We went to story time.
We watched “Frozen” 12 times.
We went on play dates.
We went to Burger King for Lunch
We walked to Edith’s.
We went out for a cookie.
We went swimming.
We drove 25 kms to see their Yodelling mascot.
We went for a bike ride.
We went to Denny’s for breaksfast.
We got their hair cut.
But we did more than that. We made up a new dance to do in the van. We visited with some old friends. We played school. We did crafts. We went on hikes. We baked lemon loaf. We opened up a kids bank account. We jumped on the trampoline. We laughed. We enjoyed each other.
And it all came down to me.
It all come down to me being open to having a good time and dumping the shitty “my life is so rough” attitude. I know that I am not a good houswife or even a Pinterest Mom, but I am also not a Mom that wants to constantly publicly bitch on facebook or her blog about how it sucks being a Mom and she has to be drunk all the time to get through even one day with her kids. Sometimes, I get stuck in that. I get stuck in this feeling that I am supposed to pick a persona.
I don’t have to pick a persona. I just have to be me.
I kicked the shit out of Spring Break. And you know what? My daughter went back to school today and I miss her desperately. I’m counting down the days till summer.