Posting a screenshot to my personal Facebook account was the tactful way in which I chose to announce to my friends and family that
MY GIRL PARTS ARE FALLING OUT OF MY BODY.
Yes. Yes, they are.
And because my girl parts are falling out of my body, I’ve decided to go ahead and schedule both a hysterectomy and what the doctors call “pelvic reconstructive surgery,” though I prefer to think of it as GO GO BIONIC VAGINA!
AND TAINT!
ALSO BUTTHOLE!
If you’re already lost and disgusted, let me back up and offer a little illumination.