This season Manulife is creating a movement of gratitude and paying it forward kindness during the Christmas season. We hope that by sharing our stories (as varied as they are) of #LifeAdvice and #gratitude we can amplify the conversation and encourage more people to think of sharing these types of kind gestures over the holidays.
Life advice sometimes comes to you in funny ways, and while some of our stories may seem a little strange, they all contain advice that we feel strongly about. BLUNTmoms is here to show that even on a bad day, there is something good that can occur, and that simple things sometimes make the biggest impact in your life
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Being a mom is hard.
Being a new mom feels impossible.
And everyone has advice on how you should be a new mom.
On a daily basis, you are hounded with unsolicited advice. You can’t get through a phone call from your mother in law without learning about the way she did things “back then.” The judgy mom in the preschool line gives you the stink eye when you whip out non organic baby formula. Even your husband thinks he knows things (and, come on: who wears the breast feeders in this family, huh?).
And it seems like almost all of the advice they offer is useless to your actual situation. Useless, I tell you.
Except for the advice that isn’t.
Like advice that comes from the moms who tell you the truth. The moms who see beyond the Hallmark version of mothering. You know, the ones who scoff at clean floors and who will pour you a huge glass of wine as you cry in exhaustion at their sticky kitchen tables. Those moms.
Your Sisters in Motherhood Solidarity, those precious gems who make day to day mothering tolerable. The ones who don’t care that your yoga pants haven’t been washed in four days. The ones who see your laundry piles and sink full of dishes and say, “Girl, you should see my house…” The ones who understand that potty training is enough to make you crazy and won’t bat an eyelash when you say, “I just don’t like them today.”
I was so fortunate to have women in my life who saved my exhausted hiney in those first few years of mothering. Without those truth talking angels in my life, I couldn’t have, no, WOULDN’T have survived those early years of parenting.
This was their advice:
- No one cares if you use formula. If it gives your boobs a rest, feed it to him.
- Do a quick clean up of your house and go to someone else’s house. Your house stays clean that way.
- Diaper rash does not mean you are a bad mom. My kid has it, too.
- We buy the cheap diapers. Because cheap. And they work just fine.
- Don’t read “What To Expect The First Year.” Read Chelsea Handler’s book. And Jenny McCarthy’s. Because humor. And vodka.
- Don’t use nap-time to fold laundry. Put your feet up and watch Oprah in peace and quiet.
These women became my salvation. My daily lifeline and a way to maintain what was left of my sanity.
When I struggled with mastitis, a dear friend didn’t flinch in the bathroom when I lifted my shirt to show her how badly inflamed it was.
As post partum depression slowly ate away at me, I had a friend who called every day just to say that she understood and promised she wouldn’t let go.
On the day after a horrific car accident when I was pregnant with my second child, my best friend just showed up and managed everything. She knew what to do, how to do it and did it. Without me asking.
And, when my second child arrived, safe and sound, friends filled my refrigerator with food.
So, my advice? Find these women who will support you and listen to them.
With every tidbit of useful advice, every display of friendship solidarity, with every bottle of wine I consumed at sticky tables, these women showed me the real way to be a mother. They taught me how to take care of myself so I could take care of the minions I was surrounded with from sunup to sundown. They helped me find my footing as a mother, never once judging me on the days I said I wanted to quit.
And I was grateful beyond measure.
Christine Burke
Keeper of the Fruit Loops
Blog: keeperofthefruitloops.com
Find me on Facebook and Twitter too!
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Visit the Manulife blog for more details on what they are doing to share gratitude this month, or pop onto the #LifeAdvice hashtag on Twitter and start sharing the best life advice YOU have received!
This post is sponsored by SPLASH Media Engagement on behalf of Manulife.
@Manulife is asking you to spread some positive by thanking those in your life who have given you great #LifeAdvice. Take a moment to #PayItForward by thanking someone important to you.