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Naked in front of your kids?

Handsome man surprised in the steam shower

Do you dangle your nasty bits out in front of your kids?

Another passionate debate between parents. The two distinct camps sound roughly like this:

“I am totally comfortable with my body and want my child to learn that humans are perfect and beautiful just as nature made them.”

The other camp says:

“Kids don’t need to see that shit.”

Both sides are absolutely convinced of their righteous position and stand by it. So to find us all an answer, I checked the parenting manual that we get on how to raise kids. Surprisingly there isn’t a rule on that… in fact, there isn’t a fricken manual.

A friend of mine told me that she had never let her kids see her nude, and then her daughter went swimming with another family, and the mother stripped down in front of all the kids. My friend was appalled at nudie Mom’s assumption that it is ok to just show her fur to another child. The nudie Mom probably never gave it a second thought. Awkward.

When kids are little, many parents are comfortable being naked with their (usually same gender) offspring. For many people, that all stops at the exact moment their little precious learns to speak and describes the frank and beans to his preschool class.

When parents get a boy baby and wonder if they should clip the handle a smidge or not, the nurse kindly will say, “You want him to look like his father.” To which I say… why would he know what his Father’s dink looks like? Maybe because we are supposed to be naked with our kids? If so, why or why not?

When preteen time starts there is nothing as mortifying as a sparsely clothed parent. This is an excellent weapon of mass embarrassment if you want to keep control of an errant teen. “Keep being mouthy and I will show up at your dance class wearing a visible thong and a belly shirt.” Instant obedience.

You may be one of those nudists carrying a towel around so as not to leave a personal print on leather furniture, or the three layer cover up type of parent, but either way take comfort in the fact that somebody is horrified by your choice.

Oh, and no matter how comfortable you are with your body, the rest of us don’t need to see that shit. Use the changing room.

 

Advice with a twist: www.magnoliaripkin.com

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