This world is bleeping crazy. And not in a good way.

When it comes to watching the nightly news on TV, my husband and I had to invent a drinking game to make it bearable. According to the rules, whenever words like molestation, nuclear war or mass shooting were said, we had to take a swig of beer. One night, within the span of the half-hour news, we had drunk a six-pack. That’s when we decided we needed to stop watching the news.

Our little game reminded me that there are so few things in life I control. Rationally, I tell myself to stop worrying about the uncontrollable and stop becoming frustrated by the annoying but that never helps.

So, in search of Zen, I created a list of some of my biggest hamster wheel thoughts and frustrations in the hopes my list will teach me to stop wasting my time thinking about such nonsense.

My husband’s Memory
Maybe you have a husband who remembers everything, which is probably its own personal hell, but having a husband with a memory like Dory the Blue Tang fish in Finding Nemo has left me asking myself on multiple occasions, why do I bother to talk to him?

For the life of my husband, he cannot remember the names and faces of our son’s classmates or their parents, no matter how many times we’ve talked to them or about them behind their backs. “Now who’s that,” my husband will ask loudly while the person in question is an outstretched arm away. “Which one’s their kid,” soon follows. As I explain, in a nonchalant whisper, for what has to be the thirteen thousandth time, I ask myself, why did I remind him about this school picnic?

My Family’s Health
There are bigger health issues that I can’t control but worry about constantly. These thoughts are so evil and dark I refuse to write them down or say them aloud for fear it will give them life.

With that said, I will mention I live in Vermont. I mention this because if you are familiar with the area you are probably aware of the tick problem we face 12-months a year. Tick checks are essential here but listen, I can barely read the print on my cell phone so do I really trust myself to find a tick, the size of a poppy seed, nestling its disease-infected head inside my son’s thickly covered scalp?

My Son’s Social Life
My sweet boy happens to be a bit awkward. While he gets along well with his classmates, he has struggled to find a friend. Unfortunately, I can’t force children to like my son and I certainly can’t bribe them to hang out with him at recess. Or can I? How much would something like that cost, anyway?

The Weather
Now, on those summer days when there’s an outdoor event I don’t want to attend, of course, I wish for rain; if I want to go, I wish for sun. In the winter, I love a huge snow storm on a Saturday but not if I have to drive to the airport and not on a Tuesday because I don’t want another school day cancelled due to snow.

No matter what kind of dance I do, I can’t change the weather. Hell, no one can even predict it, so why do I think I can control it?

My Son’s Likes and Dislikes
I can’t make my sweet little sponge like something he doesn’t like. If he doesn’t like soccer – even though his entire class is playing and maybe he could make a friend – so be it. If he doesn’t want to learn how to play an instrument, learn to ice skate or read a book – ever – I’m sure he’ll find positive ways to spend his time when he’s a teenager, right?

Other People
Unfortunately, I’m not charismatic enough to make people conform to my beliefs or expectations of respect and courtesy. Some people are just assholes and no matter how much I glare at the back of their heads when they push in front of the line or yell at them when they cut me off on the Interstate, I can’t change assholes into decent people.

However, I’m guessing there have been a few people shooting daggers through the back of my head from time to time. Sorry!

While I realize there is very little I can control, I do understand I can change my attitude toward what life serves up. So, as I try to let the crap go, I focus on making this bleeping world a little less crazy. In a good way.

 

Bio:
Anne Archer gave up the exciting world of public accounting to raise her stubborn, yet delightful boy. She writes “The Savvy Shopper” feature for her local newspaper and has contributed to BLUNTmoms and Tribe Magazine. She shares her stories on her Facebook page www.facebook.com/ReallyPeople

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Wannabe's are Guest Authors to BLUNTmoms. They might be one-hit wonders, or share a variety of posts with us. They "may" share their names with you, or they might write as "anonymous" but either way, they are sharing their stories and their opinions on our site, and for that we are grateful.

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