The super version of me

I often try to improve myself, to become a better version, to live a healthier life, to do sports, to have time for me, my kids, my hubs.

And I try it for a few days, like give up coffee, eat less chocolate, go running, not lose my patience when the girls throw a tantrum… Sadly I am soon back to my old ways, where it’s easier to sit and watch a movie, or turn on the cartoons or eat junk food, or have a glass of wine, make it two…

But who would I be if I could be a super version of me? What would that look like? I’m not talking about the dream, not-going-to-happen-in-this-lifetime me, where I’d of course be an A-list Hollywood star. No, I mean someone I could actually be if I really gave it a go, if I’d try my best for a looooong period of time.

Let’s see, I’d be lean, not skinny but lean, eat no junk food, drink healthy green lettuce and spinach included smoothies, with extra additions of Mayan top secret, grow on high altitudes super food. And I’d love it, because it’s just too healthy not to. While now, you can’t convince me on the benefits of drinking vegetables, it sounds as appetizing as eating cats or dogs. You don’t see me doing that, do you?

I’d do pilates and yoga or both at the same time, because I’d be just so good at it, while now I do neither. I would run, which would give me time to think about how I could be even better, (if that could be possible).

I’d have three kids, just because I could, and I’d add a boy to the mix, just to spice things up. I’d be able to answer all their silly, hard, serious questions without mumbling, talking too fast or changing the subject. I’d teach them to count to a hundred in English and the alphabet in French, because I”d be fluent in it and read only the French version of Vogue. My clothes and underwear and jewelery it would all match and I’d wear heels and mixing colors wouldn’t be as complicated to me as math. And I’d be able to make a gourmet dinner without cracking a sweat, all with scraps of leftovers, while looking like a million bucks. All after I had put my kids to sleep and read them a story. Then I’d seduce my hubbs and before I’d go to bed for a refreshing two hour sleep, I’d answer the hundred comments on my blog posts.

I get tired even imagining this stuff, so don’t you all worry, not going to happen. Besides I just don’t see myself liking this super hero me, because I’m so not in her league, not even by a mile. I have tried learning French only to discover I should probably stick to English, I do try to teach my kids a bit, but just the fun, useless stuff like Five little monkeys… I don’t know when they’ll get the chance to use it, but why limit their options? No, I am no supermom either and don’t get me started on that.

What I am basically figuring out is that we are all better off with me just being me, nobody would probably want to hang out with that much perfection anyway. I guess we all like flaws in one another. Makes us more human. I know I love it when I see someone as confused about things as I am. Still, I’ll probably try to occasionally with more or less success update this version I have, nothing too drastic.

“To me the interesting main character is never the one without flaws.” J.J. Abrams