I walked out on my family. It was the best thing to happen to us all.
In the heat of an argument with my husband, I have more then once uttered “You’d miss me if I wasn’t here! One day I might just test that theory.”
That day came sooner than we both expected. One cold and rainy morning, I picked up my car keys at 5.30am, walked out the door with only my wallet and phone and left my family behind. I had no idea when I would be home. I left behind my husband with our 3 young children – the baby was exclusively nursing and had never taken a bottle. I literally walked out on them. I was testing the theory.
OK, so I didn’t do it out of choice. I wasn’t seething from an argument and I hadn’t had a breakdown – this time. I walked out on my family because I was in the process of my appendix rupturing.
At school, I knew children who had their appendix out and always thought it was a childhood problem. I didn’t realise how dangerous it was, and I didn’t know quite how sick I had become.
The most challenging part of this horrible time was that my husband literally had to take on the role of a nursing mom. He had to take off his daddy hat, don a mommy bonnet, and just go for it. We have no family living near us, and help with our boys is spread thin at the best of times. He didn’t have anyone to call for help because, well, who do you call to ask for help with breastfeeding a 4 month old baby when the ‘breast’ just walked out?
At first, I panicked. In the quiet ER room, my mind was buzzing with scenes of a screaming baby at home. I envisioned smoke in the kitchen, carnage in the bathroom, fighting children and a husband sat in the middle slugging at a bottle of gin. I kept trying to tell the Doctor that I felt okay and needed to go home. How on earth would my husband cope without me? How would any of them cope?
The answer is – they just did! My husband calmly told me that our baby was fussing and refusing the bottle but that it was all okay. By early afternoon, our baby had drank a bottle and was cooing on the play mat. By bedtime, he had another, and so on and so on. He just got on and adapted. Confusing times, because I honestly thought their worlds would stop without me.
When they visited me in hospital, I was in awe of my husband who literally had his groove on. He was all over it. I saw him in a new light and he sparkled. He confessed to me that we had probably both grown from this experience. He has always appreciated my role as mom, but by living it for 4 days, he said I needed to come home because I was missed. They were coping but they were just getting by. He told me our family runs smoother with all of us together. Simple.
It really was the best thing to happen to our family. We all realised we should slow down and appreciate each other. I, however, need a new empty threat because my husband can clearly cope quite well with out me. Shoot!
