Your Addiction is Killing Me!

Dear Husband,

I hate to bring this up so close to Father’s Day but since that blessed day has passed, I can’t hold it in any longer. I think you have an unhealthy relationship with our clothes dryer. And it has to end. It’s not normal.

In your defense, you are to be commended for how often you use it (for your own clothes) and I’m impressed that you can even turn it on (it’s been a long road). But come on, you have a problem.

First of all, the dryer is not an iron. Sure, it takes out lots of the wrinkles in your clothes but not all. And it does improve the smell of the clothes you’ve worn several times without laundering them but, let’s be honest, those dryer sheets do not mask the smell or replace deodorant.

I’m also a little worried about your need to just “reshape” your jeans by tossing them in the old Maytag before you hit the bars. What are you trying to prove? Tight is not always better, dear.

Your impact on the environment is worthy of a visit from Al Gore. I can’t even quantify your kilowatt hours used… I can’t count that high.

But the real reason I want to make you aware of your issue is… you are costing me a lot of money in clothes. Now, don’t get me wrong… I love that you do ALL the laundry but could you please just pay more attention to what you are tossing in the dryer? I mean, I can only shop so much… really, you’re putting a strain on our relationship.

In closing, I am only kidding. Keep up the good work, Cinderella, my jeans could use a refresh.

Love, Wifey xoxo