Batteries for Peace

Does something ever happen and you think “man, why was no one here to see this go down?”. And the funny level is beyond anything you could create on your own. Even though it will embarrass you, you are a “sharer”, and it’s worth the laughs, even cringes.

Sometimes you must suffer for your art. So here goes:

If you have a T.V. you have a remote. If you spend half an hour a week looking for working batteries for that remote, you likely use the dollar store brand like we do. It’s $1.25 for six!

Cheap vs quality always wins.

The short-life dead battery issue is so bad for your family. Nothing lasts long or ever works to its full potential. But you save at least six dollars a pack.

When the TV remote quits you do anything to shut the kids up from screaming their horror.

You hunt for cameras and toys to siphon power supplies.

Last week when I more than needed the kids to Netflix, the fucking batteries were dead. Again. I started hating myself for not being more organized and less cheap.

So I pillaged. I searched through drawers, under couches, and even the emergency kit. All gone.

At this point it’s fever pitch complaining and whining. I’m desperate. I’m sweating. I need it quiet ASAP.

I do the only thing I can. I forfeit “the forbidden batteries”. I run to my room and pull the secret box from under my bed.

I don’t like to sacrifice those ones but damn it…. this is for peace.

Just as I’m unscrewing the top of my, you know, the middle child marches in asking for a progress report. I fold over. Too late. He’s seen it.

“What’s that mom?” he inquires.

“It’s a… it’s my flashlight! ”

“Oh” he says. “Cool”

I give him batteries and thank the good Lord for keeping myself out of an awkward moment. Crisis averted.

Three minutes later my son yells from the living room.

“Mom!!! How often do you use that flashlight?! The batteries are dead.”

Face flushed (honestly, not a lot, more of a gag gift…but, oh shut up)

At least they quit on him and not when I needed them most.

Off to the dollar store.

Angila Clow.

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