Have you ever seen the movie ‘American Pie’? The film is full of teenage pubescent sexual exploration, toe curling awkwardness, and an outstandingly colourful use of the English language. What tickled me most in the movie was when two teen boys who were utterly drunk started to chant “MILF, MILF, MILF” at a photo of their friends hot mom. From that moment on ‘MILF’ gained its rightful and loving place in our vocabulary today.
No idea what ‘MILF’ stands for? Please don’t blush! It stands for ‘Mom I’d Like to Fu@k’! Yes, that is right! It is a term used by teenage boys to describe moms they would like to get jiggy with. Mostly their friends’ moms. Oh good god!
Until watching that film I had no idea that such a concept existed for moms! Did boys really see moms as sexual beings?
It’s complete hogwash, really, because let’s be honest – teenage boys are consisted of 70% hot air, 10% exaggeration and the rest leaves room for eating and sleeping.
Let us hypothesise. If these boys were ever in the situation of their desires, could they even follow through to the bitter end? Of course not. Most of these teens are virgins. Most of these teens are doing what all teens do. They dream and boast and test and mostly exaggerate.
But here is the crux. A group of teen boys threw the ‘MILF’ bomb my way not that long ago, and truthfully, it still flatters me to this day. Not because I enjoy the thought of teenage boys sexually fantasising about me. That churns my stomach. It’s more because since having my children I have felt anything BUT an object of yearning. It was nice to be noticed.
Before having my children, I think I was a bit of a catch. I had quite a good, less saggy, figure. My hair was well groomed, I drove a red sports car and wiggled when I walked. I did OK for compliments and was pretty confident with men. I can’t blame my children for all of my imperfections, but I am now soft around the edges, drive a 7 seater and do that strange pigeon run/walk thing running after one of my children whilst the other is strapped to my body in a papoose. Never sexy!
My sons currently see me as their walking fridge. I nourish them, clean their clothes and provide hugs and bedtime stories. That is all they need me for. That is who I should be for them. But one day in the not too distant future, my sons will grow to be teens. Their friends may even throw me the ‘MILF’ compliment, if such a term still exists. Truthfully I hope they do.
I want to be a healthy image for my sons about what being a mom is beyond the cook/cleaner. I won’t get away with the homage for much longer but until then I shall bathe in the knowledge that this Mama’s still got it!
