“What’s for dinner?” Seriously, have you ever heard a more obnoxious question in all of your damn life? I distinctly remember wanting to scream when I, as a child would hear “liver and onions” or “pigs feet and sauerkraut” with a sigh each time I asked what we were having. Why can’t they just say it? Tell me what we’re eating!
Well, right here and now I would like to officially and publicly apologize to each and every parent and grandparent I annoyed with this question for all those years.
There are many reasons I dread this question. Usually, it’s because I have no fucking idea what we’re having and don’t need to be reminded that it’s 3:50 pm and I have nothing taken out of the freezer. We have clocks in my house to remind me of my epic failure, thanks anyway. The rest of the time I know exactly what we’re having. That’s right. I’m choosing not to tell. It’s a little secret I lord over my family whenever the mood strikes.
But there’s a reason for that. You see, I’m just as sure that I’ll get a shitty reaction about the menu as I am sure that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning. I know, I’m a terrible, unimaginative cook and you all deserve better! Maybe one day I might actually look at that Pinterest board I cluttered with recipes and make something that isn’t so “plain, spicy, salty, orange-y.” Yeah, you read that right. Orange-y. Not like the fruit. Like the color.
Until that day, here’s a thought. Stop making ugly faces every mother trucking time I answer your infuriating question about dinner! In fact, on behalf of housewives everywhere, stop giving us more problems without giving us a solution. Look up a recipe on that fancy smartphone we paid for, make a grocery list, and help cook for a change. (Bonus points if you’re old enough to drive to the store and buy the stuff without keeping me from my wine and Real Housewives of New Jersey.) If you’re old enough to update your own Snapchat story, you’re sure as hell old enough to cruise the interwebs for a new way to make chicken less “ewwers” for your family.
Megan is a stay at home mom taking motherhood one day (read: glass of wine) at a time. When she isn’t busy embarrassing her teenaged twins with her mere presence, she can be found obsessing over her 9-year-old son or talking to her dogs and cats while her husband answers on their behalf, voices and all. She can be found on her instagram at https://www.instagram.com/megan.loden/ and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/megan.loden.5