If you are reading this you are likely wondering what the BLUNTmoms might have to say about partner abuse? We have a lot to say and hope you will share this piece with others. But, to begin, we have one important thing to say: Nothing you have done or said invites abuse. You don’t deserve abuse. You can imagine that the women who get it the worst, are often convinced in some way that they can’t get out or worse, cope without the man. This is not true, and you can get better when you don’t live in fear.
You don’t have to stay with your partner; you don’t need to be with that person for any reason. You have rights and dignities that will stand up for you in the face of the law. If you have children, you are likely trying to protect them too. Don’t do that. Take the kids and go.
The Moms on this site have many things to suggest about partner bullying or physical abuse. Every situation may vary, but above all, you have the ability to move forward and be strong. You also have tremendous support. People think that they must have a lawyer or money or savings in the bank. You do not need those things; there is a great quality of help available and many women can think and work their way through.
First, always find the local support system and see if you can get a good list of what is available. There is a support system in place in many locations, and you can find out what would be available to you. You can access legal advice and mental health help. All of these things might be critical to get you out.
If you need to prepare for a smart departure, this list of things to have with you will be as helpful as possible:
- Driver’s license or ID
- Birth certificates, yours and your children’s
- Money, chequebook, credit cards
- Lease, rental agreement, house deed
- Bank book, bank statement
- House keys and car keys
- Social Insurance Card
- Address book and phone numbers
- Care card, medications, medical records
- Marriage license/divorce papers
- Passport
Above all, reach out to trustworthy friends who have strong spines and big hearts. They will help you. There is no shame in deciding to leave a poor-quality or physically damaging relationship. If your children are in pain, or being touched or hit, you need to go in order to protect them. Many women have said they tried to tell their mother and weren’t trusted with the story. Don’t be that woman. Be strong for your children and for yourself, and the world will seem more hopeful and strong.
If you are afraid, just remember, we are all Moms and put our children first. You can too.
