Fuck the time change. I don’t know about you, but my little darlings have been going to bed super fucking late ever since the pandemic and I’m over it. Now it will be an hour later? Oh, hell no.

You’re six years old – why are you up at 10pm? I can barely keep my eyes open past 10pm. 10pm is adult time! In fact, the six-year-old almost interrupted “adult time” when he stumbled into my room at 11pm the other night. I have not put my clothes on that fast since I was a teenager and I heard my mom’s 15-year-old diesel engine Mercedes rumbling down the street.

And during the day, there is so much talking. It’s like I live inside one of those YouTube videos with the gamers. I don’t care how many V-bucks you have. Please, just STOP. I get it, the kids don’t have anyone their own age to talk to. I’m sympathetic, truly I am. But I’m asking for help here — how do I have an adult conversation?

My nine-year-old just walked in while I was writing and made a comment about my use of the f-word in this essay. I can’t even have a conversation with my computer in peace! Remind me again, why do we teach these kids how to read?

The 20th anniversary of the day my husband and I got together just passed. Right before the pandemic started, it felt like our relationship had turned a corner. Our kids were 5 and 8 — just old enough to entertain themselves for a little while without us worrying that someone would eat a marble. We could have conversations while they were awake, and even began to have a little energy once they went to bed. Of course, everything is upside down now and has been for the last year. The kids have not been inside a school since March 13th, 2020, a date I will never forget.

I know it’s small in the grand scheme of things that people have lost over the past year, but I’m really mourning the lack of adult time and connection with my husband. I’m afraid that setting the clocks an hour forward is going to make the situation worse.

I saw a meme the other day that twenty years from now, when the nests are empty, we will miss these days cooped up with our kids. I thought, oh, hell no. Healthy relationships need space. I’m looking forward to getting some back, whenever that happens.


About the author: Simone de Muñoz writes dystopian, or perhaps utopian, fiction, depending on your perspective, where women drive the story and sometimes even run the world. Based in Silicon Valley, she lives with her patient husband, their two young sons, and a grumpy dog named Fish. Her debut novel, Manflu, is out March 26th.



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