We all have those moments where we speak and THEN we think. I have two such glaringly obvious foot in mouth moments in my life. I am still mortified by what I said, in a please let me crawl into a dark hole for the next decade way.
I was 22 when my first huge awkward moment occurred. I finally had a super cool boyfriend, and was hanging with his equally cool friends. These friends were discussing a party they were going to and I was listening, trying to look like a part of the group. Someone, probably the super hot blonde with perfect highlights, said it was a KEG party.
I perked up, and then I said:
“I’ve been to the Keg!”
Yes I did. And I didn’t even know what I had done until a few days later when I went with my super cool boyfriend to pick up the kegs for the party. The moment I realized my faux pas was devastating. I was sure I would die of embarrassment. All I could think about was what those cool friends must have been thinking about me and my obvious lack of cool. I was a total dork.
Years passed and I survived the pain of dorkiness. I became a wife and mother and found myself often on the sidelines of soccer games. I loved watching my kids play and enthusiastically cheered them on. My daughters teams were always very competitive and she played with other exceptionally skilled girls. They were vocal on the field, yelling for the ball and giving encouragement to each other.
It was at one game when I heard a shout “Manon!”. It occurred to me that I had heard this shouted frequently during the season. So I leaned over to one of the other soccermoms, incidentally the one who played competitively all through her youth and knew all there is to know about the game, and asked,
“which girl is Manon?”.
Yes, I did.
She gave me an incredulous look and said ,” that’s what they say when an opposing player is on someone. You know, MAN ON?”.
Ahh, right. Another “KEG” moment I my life. Where is a hole when you need one?
Now I tend to keep my mouth firmly shut in public, and save all my queries for my ever patient husband and children, who just sigh and shake their heads.