Keeping up with the Joneses isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
It’s hard, man. I found my neighbors hosting a party a few weeks back, complete with a chef and serving staff. I was pissed because I knew I couldn’t compete with their level of grandeur. I told my husband we were fucking moving, I was tired of being the neighbors that never quite measure up to the ‘hood standards.
See, I am that person who thrives on jealousy. If someone else has it, I want it. This is not a good thing, and has gotten me into more financial shit than I care to admit. OK, fine. Bank (cough, cough) Ruptcy.
So to give you an idea, our neighborhood is described by realtors as “The most coveted award-winning neighborhood known as First Addition.”
Then there are a select few, the bad apples if you will, the ones who have the potential to throw a curveball in the whole ‘award winning’ title. Those who happen to live in said neighborhood but on a very different scale.
We are THOSE neighbors. You know the ones…
Who have a garden in the front yard
Who have the house built in 1900 and consider it ‘updated’
Who have the clothes line rigged up off the balcony
Who have the air conditioner in the window and consider it central air
Who have ‘free range’ chickens that wander into the neighbor’s yard
Who roast hot dogs on a stick and call it grilling
Who have the dog hell bent on taking a dump on the neighbor’s carefully manicured lawn
Who haul crap home from yard sales and call it “art”
Who grow potatoes on the side yard and call it landscaping
Who forget to pay the garbage bill resulting in rot stinking up the street
We have the house that other neighbors describe as “The eclectic hippie house.”
From the luxury car dealership owner 3 doors down, “Hey, you live in the hippie house on the corner, right? The one with all the fresh herbs in the yard?”
Okay, that would be basil but if I didn’t know better I would think he was looking to score a little bud for those after hour parties he keeps hosting. Now suddenly it sounds as if we are growing weed in our front yard and rollin’ doobies in the back. How did he know about my childhood? I digress…
But here is what we DO have and I think it far outweighs the things we DON’T have…at least it is what I keep telling myself….
Small house payment
Less overhead
Less maintenance of ‘things’
Less debt
Less anxiety
More time
More freedom and yes, less competition.
Now that is something worth coveting, in my humble opinion. Wow, I sound so noble.
Although my spirits were buoyed when I noticed the neighbor using the same tablecloth at her party (stalker much?) that I have.
However I’m pretty sure she didn’t buy it at Goodwill like someone I know.
Oh and by the way, I paid the garbage bill much to the relief of the neighbors.
