My book, Letters to Matt was born on a brutally cold day in February. You see, Matt was my youngest son. My single guy who was always in need of mom advice. We shared a bond that was unbreakable. Then he died and my world as I knew it spun off it’s axis and crashed at my feet.
As the months sped by, my grief deepened. I missed our daily talks. I missed sharing everyday life as we did when he was alive. I was sitting alone in my office and started to pour out my feelings filling a blank screen with words that just flowed from my heart 💜
I immediately felt that connection. I could see his face and hear his voice as my words continued to flow. These letters became my way of staying connected to Matt. They became my way of finding that connection I thought was gone forever.
My hope is that these letters will give grieving parents permission to grieve without guilt or a timeline. Society wants you to believe that if you survive all the firsts your grief will ride off into the sunset and your life will return to normal. I’ve learned society is uncomfortable with grief. Society treats grief as a disease that must be cured. I once believed that if I could survive all those firsts I’d have my perfect life back. Little did I know it’s the seconds, thirds, and fourths that kill you.
What society doesn’t get is that when you lose a child you lose the future you had envisioned. Child loss comes with a heavy price. We lose birthdays, weddings , graduations, and grand babies. We lose a huge piece of our futures.
I want to give parents permission to grieve however they wish. For as long as they need. I want them to understand that even though our children have died our connection reaches through time and space. 💜