Keep crying, LeBron!

As the Mom of a teenage son, I have been subjected to a hell of a lot of basketball and soccer on TV as of late. The perfect storm of NBA finals and Copa America soccer matches created an around the clock cacophony of yelling, whistle blowing and “DE-FENSE” chanting in my living room.

 The epic battle of Game 7 between the Cavs and Warriors had my whole family on their feet, so I totally get that the Obamas sat on Air Force One for an extra 20 minutes, pissing off the Secret Service agents, to see the outcome of that game.

More impressive to me than the amazing blocked shots and unbelievable 3 pointers we all witnessed during that impressive comeback, was the fact that LeBron James broke down and cried the Ugly Cry in front of every person on the planet with a television or internet access. Was it understandable that he cried like that? Of course. It was the culmination of an endless season, the redemption after so many fans hated him with a passion for leaving Cleveland, and the satisfaction and exhaustion of the emotional release he and his teammates felt upon their victory. Could he have actually stopped himself from crying as hard and as long as he did? Probably – he is after all one of the most physically and mentally strong humans you could ever meet, based on past performance. He’s also not a half-bad actor, as anyone who saw him in Trainwreck can attest. But no, he let it all out, and for that I think we should all be pretty damn grateful.

Let the haters on Twitter call him a pussy, but as the parent of a boy in today’s world, I’d really like some footage of him crying in public to become mandatory viewing in every classroom, accompanied by some honest discussion of emotions. I sense all you eye-rollers out there, but I think most of us can agree that in 2016 America, we still have a vast majority of young men in our country who have been socialized to think that crying is not a thing to do, or admit to ever doing, particularly in public.

What if every little boy who struck out playing Little League were to hear, “It’s OK, cry like LeBron for a couple minutes and you’ll feel better”, instead of hearing, “There’s no crying in baseball!”  Or when a teenager got cut from the football team, or flunked a test, or got dumped by a girl, was counseled to “Have a LeBron cry and get it out of your system – then let’s talk it over”, instead of being subjected to a slap on the backside and a “Hey, man up” or “Grow a pair!”  

If every parent, teacher and coach in our society were to change the language we used and attitudes we conveyed when dealing with growing boys, perhaps we’d have a better chance at a less violent society. If our boys grew up confident knowing that there are many healthy ways to express emotions, and that might include tears in certain situations, maybe over time we’d see a few less young men considering hitting someone or using a weapon to harm another person. Maybe if they had a flashback to a crying LeBron video, they’d remember that grown men, even tough, tall and strong ones, think it’s fine to shed some tears when they are overwhelmed with emotion.  Life is tough, we don’t always have to be.

Let’s all stop calling out boys to not “cry like a girl” or “like a baby” but to let it out if they are overcome with sadness, frustration or anger. Let’s do a little more talking about healthy ways to release stress and encourage adult men to be honest with boys about feelings – especially Dads, coaches and those who serve as role models to our kids.  Will that be an easy task for most men? Probably not, but if LeBron can break down in front of us all, perhaps more of us can be brave too. Could a few more crying boys result in one less mass shooting? Maybe – maybe not, but there’s a good chance it could lead to more adult men who are emotionally healthier and less prone to anger and frustration.  Enjoy that trophy, King James, and hold your tissue box high.