As my youngest quickly approaches the age where he starts to talk back, I’m starting to long for the early days of motherhood–primarily the ones that were filled with newborn smells and cuddles and even the all-night breastfeeding sessions. Okay, maybe not so much those, but in my twisted baby fever brain, I’m remembering them as sweet instead of the sweaty hellish mess we know they are.
Everyone around me seems to be pregnant or popping out babies like I pop Advil, so I’m starting to get that little voice in my head. You know the one. “Have another baby,” it says. “It’ll be sunshine and rainbows,” it says. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve started bugging my husband with name ideas. It’s bad, people, bad.
I’m a young mom of two boys who I lovingly refer to as “chaos squared,” a business owner and entrepreneur. The LAST thing on my mind should be getting knocked up, and yet, here we are. I’ve tried reminding myself of the 24-hour feeding episodes, the mastitis, the healing process. Nothing is doing the trick. My brain is screaming “BABIESSSSSS!!!!!!!!” at me 24/7 and I can’t make it stop. Well… I couldn’t. But, thanks to our dear friend Internet and my passion for procrastination, I’ve found a solution!
If you’re feeling like me, you’ve got babies on the brain, and your biological clock just can’t be reasoned with, I’ve got a trick for you!
Go there and look up “Live birth” or “Crazy home birth” and watch. I highly recommend letting your meal settle first, but when you watch you will quickly feel your ovaries shrivel. You see, one cannot watch the “beautiful miracle” that is giving birth after having given birth without feeling what one is seeing. It’s like muscle memory.
So, if you’re feeling the longing for the pitter patter of tiny feet against your bladder when you’re trying to sleep, go watch some birthing videos on YouTube and remind your vagina of the reality of what it’s asking for. It needs to be reminded every now and then.