I have not lost my mind, I am a writer

I’m good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, why can’t my less-immediate family be more supportive of me?

I’m going through enough hell without you being concerned that I’m a jobless hobo just because I decided that maybe I would try pursuing a career in writing. You know, you guys used to be supportive when I was 14 years old and wanted to be a writer. It was a reason for you to chest thump then, because I was going to be just like my grandpa.

What changed?

Why do you feel the need to vocalize your concern to EVERYONE? How do my perceived failings become a topic of conversation at the cardiologist’s waiting room? The mail man can just butt right the hell out of my business. I can’t just have a nice normal conversation with a relative any more–you know, where we talk about stuff like the weather or your grandchild.

Seriously, it’s awkward to be talking to my 90 year old grandmother when the conversation goes like this: “Your dad is worried about you. Are you doing okay? Do you need some money? You’re not depressed, are you? Your dad thinks you might be drinking because you’re depressed.”

If I became an alcoholic, AND I’M NOT, this conversation would be the reason!

Is it the cooking? It must be the cooking. Using alcohol in cooking doesn’t qualify me for AA, for God’s sake. How will I ever get anyone to take me seriously if you decide to try to have an intervention just because I put bourbon in the BBQ sauce?

I can’t imagine what reception I would get at a Alcoholics Anonymous meeting when I go in and say, “Hi, my name is Anne, and I have a drinking problem. Last week, I decided to split a beer with my husband while we watched Breaking Bad. Yeah, neither of us likes to drink a whole beer. It makes us bloated and sleepy.”

Clearly, you don’t get me at all if you think I’m miserable. All you’re seeing is how miserable you’re making me. For once in my life, I’m actually enjoying what I do! So what if it doesn’t pay me money yet? Why can’t you have a little faith that it might be fruitful some day?

Isn’t it your job to pat me on my back and tell me to persevere?

Sure I still have occasional doubts. Who doesn’t? I’m embarking on a major career change, and yeah it’s going to take some work, but you’re not helping! I’ve only been doing this for 6 months. Give me a year or something before you declare me a complete failure.

No, my marriage isn’t in trouble because I’m at home! No, my husband’s not going to leave me just because I’m not currently bringing home a paycheque. He’s the one who’s being awesome and nurturing about this!