This season Manulife is creating a movement of gratitude and paying it forward kindness during the Christmas season. We hope that by sharing our stories of #LifeAdvice and #gratitude we can amplify the conversation and encourage more people to think of sharing these types of kind gestures over the holidays. 

Have you ever looked over at your man during a night spent sitting on the sofa, stuffing popcorn in your gob, washing it down with a mug of cabernet, while watching House of Cards and wondered:

“Wait, is this the guy I married?”

When I expect my husband to change his underwear, daily, or put socks in the laundry basket, not on the floor by the bed, I hear little voices in my head:

You can’t change your man!

You need to accept him as he is!

Why are women always trying to make us into what we aren’t?

Stop nagging me!

I’ve heard it from friends, male and female alike. I’ve definitely doled out this same advice myself, and yet, for the most part I think it’s bull.

When I was about 15, I spent many nights smoking cigarettes with my bestie’s mother. This platinum blond crafting queen who was also a former race car driver in the south would help me pick up the shards of my life after each emotional crash. One night she shared this spectacular piece of advice from her Southern Belle Mama:

“Darlin’, it’s not about changin’ your man, it’s about making him become who he pretended to be when he met you.”

If your stud showered before your dates and seduced you back to an apartment free of dirty socks and a bathroom clear of beard clippings or used to flush and brush the toilet and refrain from passing gas during romantic dinners,  then you have every right to demand this 10 years on.

Now I accept that my gradual removal of sugar from my hubby’s nightly tea is perhaps not what this grand dame from New Orleans had in mind. And oddly enough, just as I got used to his penchant for brightly patterned dress shirts, he changed to a more classic look all on his own.

But ladies, let’s be clear: some standards must be maintained. No one should accuse you of changing your man just because you expect the delivery of goods to live up to the sales pitch.

A word of warning: If your baby daddy does comply, you may well be expected to forgo sporting the winter fur on your legs so don’t forget to stock up on the razors.

Visit the Manulife blog for more details on what they are doing to share gratitude this month, or pop onto the #LifeAdvice hashtag on Twitter and start sharing the best life advice YOU have received! 

This post is sponsored by SPLASH Media Engagement on behalf of Manulife. 

@Manulife is asking you to spread some positive by thanking those in your life who have given you great #LifeAdvice. Take a moment to #PayItForward by thanking someone important to you.


Cordelia is a researcher who has recently settled in Merida, Mexico after a decade spent chronicling her parenting adventures around South East Asia. When she isn’t homeschooling her children, she is usually found losing the battle against Herculean weeds while wielding a can of mosquito spray as Brienne of Tarth does her sword. Cordelia's eclectic and oftentimes regrettable past includes eco-innovation, sailing instruction and restaurant cashier. She is currently working on the upcoming launch of her new site Homeschooling for the Zombie Apocalypse.


  1. Epic! Love! Mine had better go back to practicing yoga. And I guess I will go back to doing the laundry.

  2. What does it mean if I’M THE ONE who is sloppier?! HA! Now me and hubs are even, LOL! Great confession )whose name I will not tag)!

  3. Uhm…this will be interesting to see how it develops for me and my fiance. But so true with my ex husband hah!

  4. Love this! I did get a gentle reminder the other day, Texas winter, wearing shorts, he said “I have to mow the lawn today” (not a euphemism). We both looked down at my legs. “Um, guess I have some work to do to.” I had missed a few spots. Still, wearing shorts. Like a boss. There’s a method to my madness, if I suck at shaving my legs, I’ll NEVER have to mow the lawn.

    • Coming from a family of female Yetis, I was never able to shave. It was like those italian mafia men who had 5 o’clock shadows by 11am. I have endured years of waxing pain. I don’t plan on paying for my girls’ college but I will definitely try to gift them laser treatments when they hit 13. Lifelong expense, suffering and time waster, University? They can get a loan…

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