Do you dangle your nasty bits out in front of your kids?

Another passionate debate between parents. The two distinct camps sound roughly like this:

“I am totally comfortable with my body and want my child to learn that humans are perfect and beautiful just as nature made them.”

The other camp says:

“Kids don’t need to see that shit.”

Both sides are absolutely convinced of their righteous position and stand by it. So to find us all an answer, I checked the parenting manual that we get on how to raise kids. Surprisingly there isn’t a rule on that… in fact, there isn’t a fricken manual.

A friend of mine told me that she had never let her kids see her nude, and then her daughter went swimming with another family, and the mother stripped down in front of all the kids. My friend was appalled at nudie Mom’s assumption that it is ok to just show her fur to another child. The nudie Mom probably never gave it a second thought. Awkward.

When kids are little, many parents are comfortable being naked with their (usually same gender) offspring. For many people, that all stops at the exact moment their little precious learns to speak and describes the frank and beans to his preschool class.

When parents get a boy baby and wonder if they should clip the handle a smidge or not, the nurse kindly will say, “You want him to look like his father.” To which I say… why would he know what his Father’s dink looks like? Maybe because we are supposed to be naked with our kids? If so, why or why not?

When preteen time starts there is nothing as mortifying as a sparsely clothed parent. This is an excellent weapon of mass embarrassment if you want to keep control of an errant teen. “Keep being mouthy and I will show up at your dance class wearing a visible thong and a belly shirt.” Instant obedience.

You may be one of those nudists carrying a towel around so as not to leave a personal print on leather furniture, or the three layer cover up type of parent, but either way take comfort in the fact that somebody is horrified by your choice.

Oh, and no matter how comfortable you are with your body, the rest of us don’t need to see that shit. Use the changing room.


Advice with a twist:


Our Editor-in-Chief Magnolia Ripkin is sort of like your mouthy Aunt who drinks too much and tells you how to run your life, except funny... well mostly funny... like a cold glass of water in the face. She writes a flagrantly offensive blog at Magnolia Ripkin Advice Blog answering pressing questions about business, personal development, parenting, heck even the bedroom isn't safe. She is the Editor in Chief at BluntMoms. Other places to find her: Huffington Post, The Mighty and Modern Loss. You can also check her out in two amazing compendiums of bloggers who are published in “I Just Want To Be Alone.” And most recently, Martinis and Motherhood, Tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF


  1. Nope sorry I won’t use the change room. How in the hell am I suppose to get myself and my squirming toddler dried and dressed in a cubicle smaller than an airplane bathroom? If you don’t want to see it take your kids swimming at the country club, not a public pool.

  2. My parents were relentless in their naked wandering about the house. My grandmother dressed in a dark closet, and I hide in the bathroom. A psychologist will have to figure out the rest. And for what it’s worth…my 18 month old daughter fell off the bench of the public pool’s change room from craning her neck around to stare at naked people. So there’s that.

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  4. Julia Payson Reply

    Loved the article, but sorry? Change room? Maybe it’s just up here in the rustic canadian world, but the women’s change room is just one big room. ladies are expected to be able to handle being nekkid around other ladies. just a thing we do I guess. if you look up, you’re gonna see that shit.

    • LOL love it…rustic Canadian world. I didn’t realize our Lady bits caused such a ruckus!

  5. Yeah, just the one change room with benches. You can try the whole changing inside your towel thing – if you’re are very coordinated and have a lot of time. But basically, if you don’t want to see it, don’t look. If your kids are confused by it all, it’s probably time for a frank discussion. Yes this is how we plan to keep Americans from invading Canada.

    • So we show the Americans our jiggly bits and it keeps them away? You are a genius… a warfare strategist of incredible magnitude.
      I love it.
      As for my kids – they can find it all out from dirty magazines just like the rest of us did.

      (I am kidding people.. don’t go all Westboro on me)

  6. Jeremy Pierce Reply

    Change room? All the guys have is the locker room. There is no big deal here, well at least for those of us that do not have an erection while dressing in front of all the other guys. We were all accustomed to it by the time we got out of first year middle school.

  7. I am one of the naked moms, but now that my daughter is older (11) and starting to go through puberty, my “free is for me” attitude is biting me in the ass. Just about a month ago, my daughter told me that she was using the scissors to clip her vag hair so that it “looks more like mommy’s”. Yeah…so to all the naked moms like me, be careful what you wish for. 🙂

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  9. I am from another country so there may be cultural differences.
    I didn’t mind being naked in front of my kids until they were 2yrs old. After that, I spoke to their pediatrician and he suggested that seeing your parents naked is a little TMI they may not be ready to process. However, I don’t mind them seeing me in underwear while I change because I don’t want them to be embarrased by the human body; or if they barge in my room when I’m changing, I don’t jump into the closet, I just turn around and tell them that this is a private moment and they need to leave (and in that way, I can steal 5 minutes from them!!!)

  10. My opinion is the When either you or your child becomes uncomfortable with your nudity, stop then. i have 2 boys. When my oldest was 2 yrs old, I would occasionally take him in the shower with me in lieu of bath to save time. No biggie for awhile. Then he noticed and pointed out our differences in anatomy. Still no biggie to me… At about 3 he would stare… and I became a little uncomfortable (innocent comparison but I opted out of co-Ed showed at that point) So then he only saw me if he busted in the room whilst I was changing. At which he would say “ew! I see your butt-butt!!” My response? “Then don’t open a closed door!! ” We are all different… Your feelings and your child’s should determine how you carry on. the most important lessons are… a) a positive self image b) we have private areas c) these private areas should only be seen by our parents (or dr.) Other than that, follow your instincts !

  11. Good read! My mom and I used to shower together when I was young, now, my five-year-old daughter and I do it most of the time to save time.

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