“Pregnancy is a gift from God.”
“I just love the feeling of knowing a tiny human is doing laps in my uterus!”
“I ran a half marathon when I was eleven months pregnant – it was transcendent!”
“I was hornier than a two-headed triceratops the entire time I was pregnant. My husband hardly knew what to do with me!!!”
Okay, I may be paraphrasing some of these quotes. But you get the point. There are women who are so effing jubilated to be pregnant they practically have a nine-month orgasm.
Not that I’m resentful or anything. I was nauseated from the instant the second line appeared on the stick, but I was totally fine with eating four Panera bagels a day to curb that nausea. I didn’t mind at all that I suddenly hated yogurt—previously one of my favorite foods—with the burning passion of a thousand suns, and that I inexplicably wanted to squirt an entire bottle of relish into my mouth. Considering the only way I could feel remotely non-pukey in my body was to eat constantly, it’s no wonder I gained fifteen pounds the first trimester alone in spite of my sincere intentions of being a skinny pregnant woman.
Find out more about how much Kristen hated being pregnant at Abandoning Pretense.
