I am a patient person, people commend me on this trait. I have walked into many rooms, to find my children doing the raunchiest things you can ever imagine, and I have kept my cool. “Joey, could you please stop peeing on your baby sister. Thank you, let’s go have a snack,” is an example. But the line was drawn with this neighborhood mom, and I could take it no longer.
I am not sure where it all started, this obsession with germs. We definitely didn’t have it when I was growing up. My sister and I would roll around in the muck and grime of our day and come home and my mother would barely blink. Sure we might have to take a bath sooner or later, but there was no mention of germs and anti-bacterial anything was nonexistent.
So when I had my babies, I didn’t really give germs too much. Yes, I would have them wash their hands after they went to the bathroom, especially if we were in public, but besides that, not so much. With three small kids, two dogs, guinea pigs and a slob for a husband, my house was let’s say, lived in, and we liked it this way.
I do have an opinion also about this mass hysteria about germs and wiping children down with hand sanitizer; I don’t like it. I have researched and I find that it causes sickness rather than thwart it. This is my opinion and my children have the immune systems of full-grown stallions to prove it. They are never sick.
So there we are minding our own business at the Kindergarten picnic. There was a petting zoo and my children partook in the petting and the feeding of the farm animals with me keeping a close eye on them. It was time to eat and as I turned to pull out my children’s lunch, out of nowhere comes the Sanitizer Mom. She is all over my kids before I can even say a word. She has already wiped down my 4-year-old and is getting ready to sink her germ-free antibacterial hands on my 2-year-old when I stop her.
“Excuse me, but we are okay,” I say politely. They already washed their hands.”
“No I don’t think so,” she replied while continuing to pull wads of wipes from her never-ending supply. “I saw they touched the goats. You have to use the wipes,” she informs me.
My blood began to boil as she reached for my little baby’s angelic face. With the stealthiness of a ninja, I grabbed her hands just before the alcohol-drenched anti-bacterial wipe touched her face.
“Step away from the baby,” I said in a deep voice which said I meant business.
She was stunned and looked at me as if I was crazy which at that point I was. Why do overbearing, germ-obsessed, obsessive-compulsive moms think that those of us who are not, are not taking care of our children correctly? I do not wipe down my children because I have chosen not to, not because I don’t know better.
“If you are obsessed with germs, do it over there, with your children. If that is not enough for you, maybe start wiping down the gym equipment or something. Just please keep their weirdly chaffed hands away from my kids,” I said.
With this comment, the Antibacterial Mom walked away slowly. After this incident, rumor has it, that her children were not allowed to play with mine. To tell you the truth, this was quite a relief, because her kids are always sick.
Melanie Gangolf is a quirky work at home mom of three teenagers. She is a full time mom, part time writer and all time woman. You can find her at https://www.facebook.com/melanie.mullengangolf. Website: http://www.melaniegangolf.com Facebook https://www.facebook.com/melanie.mullengangolf
Twitter: https://twitter.com/e_gangolf
