Sometimes people ask why we do the things we do. Why we try our best to be kind to each other. Why we sit together at events for you and sometimes celebrate holidays together. Why we smile and talk in your presence. And why we bite our tongues and pick our battles when we don’t see eye to eye on things. And the only answer I have is that it is best for you.
You deserve to have the two most important people in your world on the same side.
You deserve to look to one area to find your cheering squad.
You deserve to have one cake and the two most important people to watch you blow out the candles.
You deserve to have conflict free exchanges between us.
Because when you took your first breath we both were in awe.
Because when you took your first steps we both cheered you on with pride.
Because when you get hurt both of our hearts ache.
Because when we look at you we both see the incredible person we want you to become.
And yes life changed and we parted ways, but we will be forever be connected through you. We will still work together as a team. We know we are equally special and important to you and we will never make you decide. Our love for you is the tie that binds us together, we are still a family.
And no this does not work for everyone. There are different relationships and circumstances surrounding every union and every parting. Sometimes there has been violence and abuse. Sometimes there is distance or death. So maybe we are blessed that our situation is not that. We are blessed to know that this isn’t about what we like and don’t like about each other. It isn’t about always being right or things always being fair. It is about coming together as a team and putting what you need first.
And you need us, both of us, in our own unique way. We both offer you gifts in what we teach you. We will both sometimes disappoint you. This is life whether we are together or apart, so we will not make this a dividing factor. And so this is why we will continue to work together. And sometimes it will be damn hard work. And yes our family looks different than it did before. And yes it may look different than some of your friends. But I promise you that the love behind it is the same.
About the author: Johanna Goodfellow is a single mom and has been co-parenting three incredible kids for the past 6 and a half years. She works full time in social work and recently acquired her Bachelor of Social Work degree from Ryerson University. She is an aspiring writer who writes from experience, with a universal message. https://www.facebook.com/johanna.goodfellow