I love Anna Kendrick and Amy Schumer in a way that, if I’m being completely honest with you, is possibly more than just a girl-crush. They’re honest about their inadequacies, their fears, and their insecurities. They’re willing to admit that they have them and I admire that, greatly. Add the fact that they’re both incredibly funny and exactly the type of hot mess that I would love to hang out with in real life, and you might begin to understand why I lust after them from afar.
These women are remarkable because they haven’t let fame and fortune change who they are or how they feel. I don’t know from personal experience, obviously, but I imagine the life of a celebrity to be a difficult road to navigate. You have to be put together and “on” nearly every waking moment of the day because paparazzi and random fans could be lurking around any corner. How many of us could honestly deal with sort of responsibility? If I shower and remember to put on pants, it’s been a good day and I consider myself to be acing life.
I’m offended by the notion that rich white women use the “hot mess” label as a way of minimizing their successes so they can look more attractive to other people, like it’s some kind of ploy for attention. Being a self-proclaimed hot mess is not a tactic to be used to elicit sympathy or empathy, or to forge a bond with “lesser” people.
Hot messisity is not limited to a certain race, gender, or social status—it’s a part of the human experience. I feel like a hot mess nearly every day of my life. I’m not famous so nobody gives a flying fuck, but there it is, anyway. I don’t know a single person who feels like they have their shit together 100% of the time. Do you?
We’re naturally drawn toward those celebrities who admit they are a hot mess because it’s refreshing to know they can be as fucked up as we are. Most, if not all of us, can relate to that feeling. We all have bad days, bad weeks, bad months, bad years. Off of the red carpet and behind closed doors, celebrities are just people—like us. Many of them might appear to have their lives together on the surface but it certainly doesn’t mean that they do, nor does it mean that they actually feel as though they’re on top of everything. They make mistakes. They pair the wrong top with the wrong pants. They trip and fall. They deal with anxieties and phobias.
Sometimes, they even wear sweatpants or shop at Walmart. These days, hot messisity is nothing if not a sign of complete and total normalcy.
I remember when Jennifer Lawrence fell on stage, my first reaction was “That’s exactly the sort of thing that would happen to me.” I related to her in that oh-so-very human moment, as I’m sure thousands of other people did. The way she shook it off was endearing because she handled herself the same way I would have, or the way I hope I would have. Life goes on; you just gotta keep moving.
People struggle and celebrity status is not a cure-all for personal strife. Humility is an important trait, for anyone, and yet celebrities are often chastised for having it, let alone actually admitting it. If anything, though, they give us hope that we can successfully look like we’re on top of shit in spite of how inadequate we might feel on any given day.
I took an online test not too long ago and the results informed me that I have clinical social anxiety. I didn’t expect anything less, really. I like to believe I hide it pretty well most of the time, but no matter how “put together” I appear on the outside, it’s always there—just beneath the surface of nearly every interaction I have.
When it comes down to it, I think we’re all fucked-up hot messes, in some way or another. Most of us don’t advertise it openly out of fear that others won’t be able to relate, and that’s a damn shame because we’re missing out on those connections that might make us feel less alone in our own struggles.
What is it about yourself that makes you feel like a hot mess? Would you change it if you could?
