Is My Resting Bitch Face the Reason I Can’t Have Friends?

I sit on social media for the interaction.  For the feelings of hope, anticipation, and excitement.  Who is going to like my status?  Who got a laugh out of my meme?  Who has something to share with me privately?  Who else is miserable, and lonely, and waiting to make a connection with someone, for real, off the internet?

I know social media is great for reaching out to friends and loved ones far away.  I know it’s amazing that you can totally “talk” with your fave celebrities.  (Why that gives me a sense of importance, I’m not 100%.)  I know FB, Twitter, Yoohoo, Hey, Over Here, Won’t Somebody Be My Friend, and all the other sites contribute to our relationships.  But what happens when they get in the way of real, in-person ones?

I come off as an extrovert.  I seem very confident, friendly, and funny.  But I’m not approachable.  Like at all.  I don’t know if it’s my jacked-up face, my large frame, or my RBF that keeps people at bay, but the only ones who are knocking on my door want to tell me about Jesus.  And I appreciate that (sort-of, I’m getting a No Soliciting sign), but I know Jesus.  And I already talk with him.  But thanks for stopping by.  Anyway, no one comes up at the park or playground to introduce themselves.  No one approaches me at the playdates that I pay to be able to go to (Thanks, Moms Clubs.)  No one strikes up a convo with me at the store.  It’s like I have a “Do Not Disturb” sign on my forehead.  

So I come and sit on social media, checking it every two minutes, running over to my phone if I hear a notification alert, scroll through feeds 2 or 36 times just to feel a connection with someone.  It’s so much easier for me to type with someone rather than talk.  I think this is because my mind goes 100 miles a minute and I can’t concentrate.  Or because I don’t like awkward silences.  (They’re awkward.)  Or because of my RBF, people really do think I’m a bitch.  

But, honestly and seriously, I just want a friend.  Actually, I want friends, plural.  I don’t want to be holed up in my home, on my phone or computer, shades drawn, and alone.  I want someone to reach out to me, to hit me up, to text or stop by to say, “Hi.”  To invite me out to have drinks or dinner.  I don’t want to feel so disconnected from my family that I’m looking at a screen instead of at them.  I want to create actual relationships, rather than just virtual ones.  I want to be appreciated.  To FEEL appreciated.

I know I can’t be alone in this.  So, come on over and approach me, other weird, obnoxious moms.  My kids are stinkin’ adorable and underneath all this crap, I really am pretty great – just check me out online.

About the author: Sheri Schooley is a sarcastic, witty, self-deprecating, (almost) middle-aged, hilarious wife and mother of two incredibly amazing daughters.  She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as making people laugh.  She currently resides in the way-too-hot State of Florida and is phenomenal at complaining about it.  Sheri expresses herself best through the written word and hopes that you’ll be able to connect with her through her stories of relationships, parenting, and neuroses.

Website: http://www.mommyopoly.com
Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/mommyopoly
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/mommyopoly