Words are just words and it doesn’t matter what you say, what matters is why you say things or the connotation given to your words.
Fuck that!
No seriously, that’s a ridiculous argument. I’ve read the articles, the blogs, the opinion of many a mother who allows her child to curse. And I couldn’t disagree with the illogic more. I don’t buy that you let your kid exercise his right to a dirty mouth because it’s some display of his freedom of speech or self expression. I disagree that by allowing a child to curse you will take the fun away somehow rendering them disinterested in ever using the naughty word again. I think you’re just a lazy parent. Not a bad parent…but a lazy one.
I don’t allow my children to curse because it sounds trashy. I don’t want to hear children curse any more than I’d want to see them smoking a cigarette or making out with eachother in public. Sure the smoking might be illegal but it’s also gross. And so is cursing. I know this seems hypocritical because yes, I admit it, I curse like a sailor. My favorite word is the F word and I use all sorts of curse words to add a certain je ne sais quoi to my everyday language. But I’m an adult and I also know how to express myself without cursing {if I so choose}, and had I used those words as a kid I would have had the crap slapped out of me. I had good parents.
Most kids have a hard enough time expressing themselves, partaking in an intelligent conversation, or holding their own in an argument against an adversary. Let them resort to the insertion of F bombs and derogatory name calling and that’s all they’ll use. Children are not as apt to filter their words and thoughts when in a setting that requires a curse free interaction. Have you considered that if you start letting naughty words become second nature to your child they may have a hard time refraining from using them when it would be inappropriate? For example, in a fancy restaurant, at a job interview, while in class, or during dinner at a friends house. Trust me, I’ve heard a mouthy little shit drop a bad word over a plate of mashed potatoes and it is disturbing.
I say, let’s get back to the days of ‘do as I say, not as I do’. Boundaries are healthy, they are necessary, and I think good parents establish boundaries. My kids know what words are off limits and they also know what will happen when they use them. I’d probably slap the crap out of them. ~joking~ Although, one summer when my daughter was 2 she had soap in her mouth almost daily. She finally stopped saying “shit”, but I think she developed a taste for dish soap…oops.
Now, I’m not completely naive yes I’m sure my nearly teenage children have cursed and maybe they even do so routinely with their friends to sound “cool”. But what I don’t hear won’t hurt me. I appreciate that they don’t use dirty words in front of me. It’s a respect issue. Respect for my boundaries and rules. Besides, the argument that ‘words are just words’ holds about as much water as saying ‘there are no bad fingers’, there is a reason why the middle finger comes flying when someone is peeved off. Some words are bad, some fingers are bad…and if you don’t teach your kids the difference others may start to think those little angels you birthed are ‘bad’ too.
(This post originally ran on MyBlenderLife.)
About the author: Steph Reinhart is a 30 something year old wife, mother of 5 {2 bio & 3 step kiddos}, master’s prepared nurse practitioner, and {apparently} blogger. She lives in small town Iowa and has taken to blogging as a way to cure the insane boredom she experiences as a result of living in the Midwest. Initially, she began her blog as a way to share her Gram’s recipes with her family while secretly acting out her lifelong dream of being a Food Network star in her own kitchen. She has yet to be “discovered” and her blog has slowly evolved into an outlet for writing {which sounds a lot like ranting and raving}. You can check out MyBlenderLife at stephiemreinhart.wordpress.com. Enjoy!
