I recently read about this crap – Sugar Daddy University – I will save you the trouble: it is an attempt to capitalize this new trend connecting lecherous rich, older men with nubile young women. Oh wait, this isn’t a new trend. This is the oldest cliché in the book.
I decided to write an open letter to Alan “Action” Schneider who posits that there is no shame in being a Sugar Daddy. I beg to differ, and so should you.
Dear Action (May I call you Action?):
I know I’m a little long in the tooth to qualify for Sugar Baby status but “Alan” seems a bit formal for a stud such as yourself.
You claim that your course “will teach Sugar Daddies the secret to attracting, meeting, and creating long-term relationships with Sugar Babies.” Hate to break it to you, Action but I can reveal that secret right here & now: it’s called cash. Cold. Hard. Cash.
You claim that the average age of your Magna Cum Loudly graduate Sugar Daddy is 38. I live in a city where there is a high ratio of women to men and 38 year old dudes can still get plenty of quality Sugar Baby ass on a Friday night. I’m not a statistician (although I did study statistics at university) but I’d put the median age closer to 58.
Flaccid scrotums and overstuffed wallets often result in poor decisions. Because that’s what Sugar Daddy University really is: a sad, desperate attempt for wealthy men to feel superior to women lacking material means whilst harbouring materialistic ambitions.
I understand the basic principles of supply and demand (also studied economics at university) and that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession (sociology, women’s studies, religious studies) but let’s speak frankly here, Action: if women had more money or were paid equal wages, your Sugar Babies might enrol in an accredited university, educate themselves about misogyny and go on to build company that leaves the world a better place without exploiting themselves or others.
Let’s do some really simple math here, Action: if it’s true that the typical Sugar Daddy has an income of $271,198, and he forks over an average Sugar Baby allowance of $51,684 a year, why wouldn’t you encourage your Tufts-worthy tuggers to invest 20% of their income into a scholarship for a deserving young woman to further her education and make something of her life? To invest in sustaining the future of female scholars, not just in the staining of sheets?
Oh, right. Because feminism doesn’t sell newspapers, nor does it inspire sagging, horny asses out of board room chairs to attend your course and learn how to turn full grown women into their adoring “babies.”
If I were you, Action or a female member of your family, I’d take that US$50,000 per “scholar” and invest it in a school in a developing nation, one where girls are not allowed to go to school like Pakistan, Afghanistan or Saudi Arabia. Or set up a scholarship at an existing university in NYC, Toronto or Vancouver (your top 3 Sugar Daddy cities) for a girl who excels in a sport, academics or business. who thrives against the odds, who will not let the bastards get her down. I would use that money to help girls and women understand that their net worth doesn’t depend on her ability to please her Daddy (basic Freudian transference, Psych 101).
I will help you with your own education Action: Read this: Nick Kristof said recently in The New York Times: ” there’s no force more powerful to transform a society. The greatest threat to extremism isn’t drones firing missiles, but girls reading books.”
Women deserve better, Action. And so do men.
7 Comments
Any time I need a strongly worded letter, I am coming to you. Also – Action should only be the name for a circumsized turtle.
I love you 😉
Just the thought of this burns my ass. The men are predictable and the ladies need a memo from GLoria Steinem.
HEAR HEAR!
He’s an extremely creepy and inappropriate man. He had reached out to me about having some writing work done, but insisted we meet at a diner in person so I could “understand his personality.” When I expressed my concern and said that I was not interested unless he provided credible work he needed done, and that I have no need to meet a client in person without being sure I could work for them, he proceeded to say then maybe I wasn’t a good fit. I agreed and thanked him for his time, and he continued to reply that he is not interested in me and never will be along with other harassment. I asked him to please stop texting me, but he continued by calling me a very insecure woman and various other things. I had to block him. Very scary and creepy individual.
I live next door to this guy, in Waterbury, CT. GIVES ME THE CREEPS, EVER SINCE I FOUND OUT WHAT HE WAS!
This is the worst article I have ever read about this subject. What a joke lmao. You think sugar mommies and daddies give a flying duck about misogyny or misandry? They live the life they want, you are the one that is being hateful, dropping false morality and thinking you can somehow be better than those people…No. You are not. You are the same. Writing things people want to hear instead of what should be written and doing it for money.