I was trying to think about what my next topic for BLUNTmoms would be, because I tend to write about a lot of different things on my site, and I don’t often come up with something that I feel like I couldn’t just cram right in there. My site is like my decorating style, or my wardrobe. A hot mess of everything. I’m sure that I’ve just given it away right there who is writing this, but just pretend along with me okay?
So I’m walking along on my way to get my kids at school, and it hit me. Almost literally.
With his car.
Who does a U-turn in the middle of a 4-way stop intersection in front of a school, while someone is crossing?
This guy does. He is a dad of one of the kids at the school. I don’t know his name, so I just call him something original in my head – Asshole.
He smokes on the playground after school. He smokes in his idling car in the school parking lot. Right in front of this sign:
He wears dark jeans, that I swear he irons, with a white belt. And I think he has the white wing tips from the movie Vacation. You know the ones that the redneck brother-in-law gave to Clarke? And I can’t be sure, but I think he goes tanning. I’m suspicious of a man who tans. He reminds me of George Michael. Or a Bee Gee. And maybe even Charles from Charles In Charge.
I feel so mean writing that, but I’m just trying to paint a picture here. I don’t care what people wear, really. I think it’s even in style, judging by what I saw when I googled ‘white belt.’ It’s the smoking around kids, and the Dukes of Hazzard driving that bother me. And I’m lashing out because his wife is gorgeous and thin (and also almost ran me over once in the same intersection), and they look like Barbie and Ken together. My husband and I are closer to Roseanne and Dan. Now I’ve really given it away who the author is. Maybe I should go and photoshop my pictures before you figure it out.
So although writing this may make me a cyber-bully, I figured it was better to vent my frustrations with him here, than my original plan of telling on him. Because no-one likes a tattletale.
Or an asshole in a white belt.