Boys are rough and tough and can let many things rolls right off their backs. Girls seem to be a different story.
As the mother of two boys, ages 15 and 13, I have many conversations with them that have to do with their social environment and the impact they can make. One such conversation we have is about girls. As the oldest of three girls, I remember how fragile are as teens. Boys do not think like this, at least not mine. Boys tend to be more resilient. They are also less verbal about what may be bothering them. My boys will also chose who they go to for advice based on what they need advice for. Boys are more practical and literal in their thinking. So it is in these conversations that I clue my boys into the depths of a girls’ psyche. And as we all know, this doesn’t change. Girls are deep and intricate thinkers. We can dismantle, decipher, adding extra details and crazy thoughts to any situation. The thought process for a teenage adolescent girl can look very much like a scribble drawing from a 2 year old.For boys, I would say it looks more like a maze. Boys just find their way out.
I feel it is (one of) my duties as a mother to enlighten my boys about the way girls view the world around them. An adolescent girl wants to fit in and wants to be liked, as we all do. It is here where the difference comes in, they want to be liked by boys! Yes, boys want to be liked by girls too and are extremely nervous about approaching a girl, but they do not realize that from a young girls point of view, boys have the upper hand. This is where the “great responsibility” part comes in.
From what we see in the world today in the high school age group is many instances of boys finding themselves in the position to choose what kind of man they are or will be. This is a hard task when faced with trying to impress their peers or keeping their status among their peers. We see this with examples of choices presented such as being faced with drugs at a high school party or high school bathroom, seeing an intoxicated girl at a party, to skip or not skip class, etc.
Boys have the ability to make or break a girl and they don’t even know it. What they see as a harmless act or an incident that (they think) will disappear after a week’s time is sooooo not the case for a girl. As the parents of boys, we have to make them understand the weight they can carry or can burden another with. I mean this in terms of bullying or not being forthright with their peers, mainly girls. We hear many stories of how a girl was intoxicated at a party, the boy or boys take advantage of her and even worse take photos to document the event and then the whole school finds out. Taking that a step further, if the girl feels she cannot recover from this event, well we all know where that can lead! Now, as the boy, you have just sent that girl right down the rabbit hole with no rope. GIRLS ARE FRAGILE! I tell my boys this all of the time. I give them many scenarios of how the smallest things can seem like the biggest things for a girl. Boys have the ability to make a difference and not add to the problems girls are facing. Boys are facing problems too, but as addressed earlier, they see things differently.
It really boils down to people caring for other people. Especially at this age, we want to feel as if someone other than our parents care, but we are too afraid to express that. Adolescence is one of the toughest times in our life. Show someone you care by making the right choice and right decision when faced with a dilemma. Make the choice for the intoxicated girl to get home safely and you’ll have a friend for life. Make the choice to not do drugs and maybe others will follow your leadership. Maybe even make an anonymous plea for help for someone that you see struggling everyday if you feel like you can’t get involved. Being a boy comes with great responsibility, and it is up to us as the parents of boys to make sure they know that!
Danielle Barone
https://www.facebook.com/danielle.barone.50
This author lives in South Florida with my husband of 17 years and two boys. She works full time and is currently obtaining her Master’s Degree in Social Work at Florida Atlantic University.