My daughter is not a lesbian… or maybe she is.


My daughter Jenelle has always really liked having short hair. When she was maybe 3 or so, she asked for a pixie cut and *gasp* I let her get one. Everyone freaked out, of course, but it’s just hair. She was fine. I survived (with a few tears), she survived, we were good. This was her hair as it was growing out. Awful, right? That’s when I decided keeping it short wouldn’t be so horrible – the in-between stage was ridiculous.

Fast forward 7 years to now. She has since had a mohawk (complete with shaved sides), and a handful of faux hawks, as well as pixie cuts. About a year ago I told her she had to grow her hair out to her shoulders, and then if she still really wanted short hair, I’d let her get it cut. For months, she let her hair grow. She hated it the entire time, but waited patiently for her hair to reach her shoulders.

She woke up one morning and her hair was finally touching her shoulders. She begged me to take her to the salon. I talked to her about the hair cut she was wanting, and warned her that the kids at her new school might make fun of her for it because they had only seen her with long hair. These are the before and after pictures of that hair cut.

Oh, I know.. I cried too. 🙁 But just look how happy she is in the after pictures. So, anyway.. on to the point of this post. Jenelle has been having trouble with some boys at school since getting her hair cut. They’re calling her a “lesbo”, among other hurtful names. The problem I have, though, are much bigger than simple name calling.


Look around you, look at society. Look at asshats like Kirk Cameron. “Homosexuality is detrimental to the foundations of society.” Er, right, Kirk. We are raising kids in a society that is different than the one we were raised in. I remember kids being called “dykes” and “fags” in school, just for the hell of it. If a girl got a short hair cut, she was a lesbian. If a guy wasn’t super masculine and whoring around, he was a gaywad. If we didn’t like something, it was “so gay”.

Now is the time to wake up. Look around you. Are you letting your kids say shit like “this is so gay”? If you are,


It’s not just “kids being kids” anymore. Kids are committing suicide over this stuff. So stand up, if not for yourself stand up for me! Stand up for my kids. Stand up for all the girls that like their hair short. Stand up for all the kids that have two moms, or two dads. Stand up for all kids that are different. The boys that would rather play chess or draw than play basketball. The girls that would rather play soccer than dress-up.


My daughter is not a lesbian. Or, maybe she is. But she’s 10. She does not have a sexuality right now. She’s not concerned with boys. Or girls. She likes to draw, she likes to play soccer, and she loves to help her teachers. She just also happens to love having short hair. That doesn’t make her a lesbian, it makes her different, and


Do you have the courage to be different? Do you have the courage to stand up and say hey.. I will not tolerate that type of language.. I don’t care if “everybody’s doing it”. You won’t do it. Not in my house, not in my family. It has to stop.

(This post originally ran on Slapdash Mom)

About the author: Sadie is a Phoenix transplant from St. Louis who writes with just enough honesty to get her kicked out of all the cool kids’ groups (and the PTA!). After being homeless, forced to give her daughter up for adoption, and realizing she was a lesbian at age 23, she now enjoys sharing her experiences with others who may need some help realizing there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. She talks a lot about bullying, standing up for yourself, and raising strong girls… with a little snark thrown in for good measure.


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  1. My wife has always worn her hair short. She tried wearing it long for me, and it just didn’t look right, to either of us. How your daughter likes to wear her hairis up to her, and shame on anyone who thinks it has anything to do with her sexual preference.

  2. Love love her hair! Kids who don’t want to confirm to dtandard and be a little unique, I love. Good job Mama! I wanted to do.the same, too chicken..then at 18 4 hrs later came out with boy short hair. For 20 yrs I heard it all…Lezbo ( gay is an insult?!).. or my would tell me they would ask me out if i only my hair wasnt so short?? Probably kept the creeps away. Wore it until now, 42…now a short bob, only because i grew lazy keeping it up. Stay strong and she looks darling!

  3. YES! A million times yes! My daughter was exactly like yours. When she was three she wanted the “Chynna Phillips” haircut – which was pretty short. She loved it and then always wanted her hair short through elementary school. She also loved soccer, bike and skateboard riding and swimming. She was outdoorsy and athletic. And there were lots of people who thought she was a boy or on her way to being a lesbian. I thought (still do) that she was awesome. She grew her hair out when she got to middle school, hated it and went back to short. She got so much shit from the other kids at school that she ended up changing schools. She is now 29 (what?!!), successful, happy, still outdoorsy and athletic, and happily in love with a wonderful man. All this to say YES to your message that even had it turned out that she was gay, so what? She’s still awesome.

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