Dear Family,
Consider this your official notice of termination. I am no longer dealing with your crazy.
I am no longer going to be listening politely to your insane “helpful” marriage tips, I’ve seen your relationships and honestly me not doing it “your” way, is probably a good thing for everyone.
I will no longer be held responsible for your inability to attend events I have already scheduled around my children, husband and my own time and not yours. GASP! Our birthday, anniversaries etc., do not change; if you choose to plan your holidays around that time, fine. Seriously, I don’t give a damn, but you will be the ones who will miss out. I will not plan another event just for you.
Family, this is me here to tell you that I will no longer find myself hanging up the phone in total frustration and tears while you harass me with all the things I should have done to make life easier for you. My house is not as clean as yours and no you are mistaken, my husband will not leave me for being a poor housekeeper. No, I don’t want you to watch my kids so I can clear my closet but I got the hint wrapped in this offer. No thanks.
I have my own family now. They come first. Their time is of the utmost importance and not yours. If you cannot make the time to come for dinner because of all the busy important things you have scheduled first, that’s okay. It also means that I will no longer be taking time out my day to make sure I pack up my tired toddlers, force them past their bedtime and have dinner at the location that is convenient for you. No, I won’t. Because it’s no longer about you. If it’s an agreeable time and location for all of the parties involved, then fine. But only then.
Not only isn’t it about you anymore, it actually hasn’t been about you for a long time, but yet I’ve succumbed to your crazy demands all in the name of “keeping the peace.” Fuck peace. I work my ass off at work all day and will not be spending the little quality time I have in the evening making sure that you are happy. I will only be doing so for my husband and children because making them feel cherished matters. Maybe someday you may actually try to understand all the times you’ve failed me and hurt my kids. I’m not going to let you inflict your unique brand of pain anymore.
The thing is, I feel that this relationship is no longer mutually beneficial. Actually I’m never really sure it ever was. It has always been me looking for your approval and walking on tip toes, and you telling me how I screwed it up despite my best efforts.
I’m just not doing it anymore. Nope, I’m not. You have my address, and you are welcome anytime, but I’m no longer going to add work to my day to make visits happen.
I do not love you any less, but you’ve pissed me off and made me feel bad about your poor choices for the last time. It’s not my job to make it all happen for everyone. It’s just not.
Deep cleansing breath… and we are done.