Ok, so I shouldn’t generalize here because I am sure there are plenty of douchebag moms out there as well (hello..anyone seen Dance Moms?!) but for the sake of this post, its all about you DD.

Unfortunately I have had the displeasure for the last eight weeks of listening to the king of all douchebags each Saturday at my son’s soccer game.  

You know the one, the dad that unleashes an incessant diatribe of negative comments, orders, grunts and snorts from the sidelines of his SIX YEAR OLD SON’S RECREATIONAL SOCCER GAME.

And, just in case you missed that last part, again, the boys are SIX YEARS OLD, they have the attention span of gnats, and for most it’s their first year playing the sport…the world cup this ain’t.  

The saddest part is, DD’s son is the sweetest little thing who seems to accept his dad’s douchey-ness as part of who he is and is largely unaffected by his behavior while it’s happening, so it’s up to me now to feel totally offended on his behalf.

So recently, I took over as Coach of my sons team – mostly because I want to have a positive impact on these precious little boys and instill the love of the game in them, but mostly so at some point I can drop-kick that douchebag dad right on his ass (or enlist a non-douchebag dad to do it for me).

So please, don’t be a douchebag on or off the sidelines – your kids and the other parents will thank you for it.


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  1. I gotta say I’ve seen far more douchebag moms than dads. Although the dad that showed up to toddler swimming lessons half way through the class reeking of booze and treating his son like a disobedient puppy is right up there.

  2. Brett Gyllenskog never showed up when he was supposed to. He always told me he didn’t have any money and my children were scared of him.

  3. Ahh we have the same situation in our small Texas town but our DD also alternates between President of the Youth Sports League and head of football (cuz technically term limits keep him from being President forever). King Douche coaches every season of every sport for all his kids too (can you,say,control freak whose kids will never be able to take direction from an independent coach ever?). Gotta go 8-0 in first grade football….that means he takes film of the other teams practicing to make sure he knows their plays (and cuz he runs football he knows where and when they practice of course). Wanna make sure you win in basketball? Bring on some ringers, kick off the weaker player (kids who were genuine friends in a rec league that,liked playing together), make sure you keep your roster at a competitive 8 and saddle any competition with 10 (making sure decent teams get the new beginner players with ZERO experience). Oh and know where all the half court gym are where no one is practicing to get extra free time in that no one else gets. This guy has pissed off sooooo many,people with his jackass underhanded tactics. The only dads who like him are the dads with kids on his teams (cuz they all probably jerk off together polishing their kids’ trophies). One recent 4th grader was so verbally abused, a friend yanked her child off his football team. This guy deserves the BIG prize as ultimate King of Sports Dad Douche Bag. It’s coming…his kid will hit middle school, realize daddy can’t live vicariously thru him forever, and end up smoking pot and dropping off of school.

    • Oohhhhhh……THIS HAS TO BE PROSPER TEXAS!!!!!!

      Yeah we all laugh about it. And he held his kid back in school to be bigger to sports. ULTIMATE DOUCHE!

    • Prosper mom Reply

      Gotta be PROSPER TEXAS…..we laugh our asses off at that guy.

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