I give blow jobs on birthdays. It’s my thing.
Oh Christ, don’t get me wrong, I don’t suck off everyone on their birthday.
Just my husband. It’s our thing.
Oh, I know there are other BLUNTmom’s that perform oral sex on a very normal basis. But, not me.
Nope.
I’m not in high school I’m an adult. And I choose to not suck dick.
Why you ask? Why wouldn’t I want to please my husband this way? because I don’t want to anymore. I have sucked that train dry. I don’t give blow jobs because I don’t want to anymore.
Except on birthdays.
There are even Birthdays that I conveniently forget.
When my once a year duty to get down on my knees passes to the wayside.
And I feel bad about it. Guilty even.
So, I created the one week blow job pass.
After my husbands birthday he has one week to claim his 5 minutes of slobbery sucking glory. After that it is forfeited for an entire year.
Sucks to be you, buddy.
4 Comments
There is no comment that could do justice to this post! I’m about to pee my pants laughing!
I literally laughed my ass off. Seriously, it’s gone now. Hilarious post!
I can’t even imagine the number of women who read this and said “Why the hell didn’t I think of that????”
Go forth ladies, tell him that you are retiring from knob gobbling except for once a year.
I am totally doing that… Brilliant.
I bow down to you on my non carpet burned knees. This is brilliant and damn hilarious and if I thought I could talk my husband into agreeing to this, I so would.