The most freeing thing I ever realised about myself was the idea that I’m not for everyone.

The day I realised this – and I mean really got it – was a life changing one.

The truth is, you don’t have to like me.

I’m perfectly happy with not being liked by everyone. However, while I may be ok with not being everyone’s particular cup of chai tea, I don’t want to be universally disliked either.

In short, I don’t want to be a bitch. And you know how I know I’m not, despite the moniker being tossed my way a few times in my lifetime? Because I’m self-aware.

I get accolades at work. I have a solid group of good girlfriends that I spend a lot of time with – over a dozen that I can call in the middle of the night and pour my heart out to – and vice versa. I spend far more time scream laughing than screaming.

When an acquaintance said to me once, “You can be such a bitch,” I actually took it as a compliment. I know I’m not an unreasonable, uncaring, self-obsessed moron intent on inflicting pain on others. They didn’t mean that – because it’s simply not true. They meant I’m opinionated and strong willed and refuse to sugar coat a truth they needed to hear if we were going to continue to interact with each other. And I don’t think that’s being a bitch at all.

How self-aware are you?

Do you somehow always end up being roped in drama – at school, with other moms, girlfriends, online, with your family? Is everyone around you crazy? Do you get shit on at work? (Not literally, as I suspect that’s a very rare career choice outside of seedy backrooms in New York.) Do you have very few girlfriends, and none that are really that close? Do people misunderstand you all the time, and frequently take things you say or do the wrong way?

If you’re not for everyone, that’s ok. And actually, if you’re not for anyone and you’re ok with it, then I guess that’s ok too.

Sometimes, just part of me isn’t for everyone. Like when I tell off the #kindermoms. Some very good friends of mine are #kindermoms and they’re awesome women. Sellouts, but awesome nonetheless. I bet they might have a few choice words about me too. But guess what? Say it with me.

I’m not for everyone.

At least, not the caustic bits of me, that’s for damn sure.

(Check out this awesome TedXTalk About the Difference Between Being Unpopular and Unlikeable)


An amazing collection of bright women who somehow manage to work, play, parent and survive and write blog posts all at the same time. We are the BLUNTmoms, always honest, always direct and surprising hilarious.


  1. The chicken and egg dilemma:

    Does everybody like me because I am a people pleaser or am I a people pleaser to make everybody like me?

    It is such freedom not to have to mull that issue.

    Not everybody likes me but you know some people also don’t like chocolate so really there is no accounting for taste.

    Love this post Caustic Doll

  2. Karla Smith Reply

    Even though this post was created seven years ago, it is so relevant to me TODAY. TYSM for keeping it real!

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