Dear parents of peanut butter loving kids,

Mmmmm, I love peanut butter too. My favorite breakfast is peanut butter toast; I like to cut a banana up and mush it into the oozing, warm deliciousness. I might even mash some pecans on top of the banana so that when I bite into it it’s a triple layer of melty, crunchy orgasmic yum.

You know what I mean- it’s fucking revolutionary. I like to call this little mouth bomb a double death threat because I have a kid who is anaphylactic to most all nuts and peanuts. That little bit of heaven I just described would put her in a grave, a teeny, tiny grave.

My girl was diagnosed with anaphylaxis when she was twelve months old. We found out two years later that this was a very serious issue when an accidental bite of a cashew granola bar turned her purple for lack of oxygen. She was four years old, and I almost lost her.

“The Incident” happened at her school and up to that point, the nut policy at her school was to have the allergic kids sit at their own lunch table; the island of misfit toys, exiled for their own safety. Soon after cashew-gate, a “no-nut” policy was instituted for the classrooms of all kids ages 3-5. Most parents were empathetic and supportive, which I’m so grateful for, but I began to hear loud grumblings from a select few.

“My kid is so picky; the only thing he’ll eat is peanut butter. Ugh. This is so lame- ONE kid making life difficult for the rest of us.”

“God, this is so unreasonable. The whole class has to change for one or two kids? Why can’t those kids just stay away from nuts?”

“Whoever thinks this is a realistic solution to a much bigger problem is living in a fantasy. This won’t solve anything or keep these kids safe. They need to learn to navigate the real world, which has nuts in it; you can’t shelter these kids forever.”

First off, I get it. I really do. Secondly, if this is your mindset, fuck you and your peanut butter. Before you tell me how ridiculous I am for asking a whole community to change for the tiny minority like my girl, I’d like you to ask you one little question.

Is your child’s peanut butter sandwich more important than my child’s life?

Before you open your righteous mouths, I want you to think about the precious little heart beating in your child’s chest. What you wouldn’t do to keep that heart beating, yes?

That is exactly what this issue boils down to, and if you’d like to say otherwise, I’ll ask you to save your bullshit. I’ve held my child down with my entire body while stabbing her with an EpiPen as she turns 50 shades of purple. I have physically heard my child’s airway closing, her breath squeaking like a mouse. I have seen my daughter stare death in the eye.

If you still think I’m being “unreasonable,” fuck you and your peanut butter sandwich. You can save that shit for an after-school snack; ham and cheese is on the menu today, bitches.

This is not about “Living in the real world.” Outside of a school setting, where else would you find 30 or more kids having lunch together, 80% of which are consuming peanut butter and smearing it on all surfaces within a 12-inch radius? In the “real world” you find people who can eat a fucking sandwich without getting shit all over their hands and face. In the “real world,” I, or another informed adult, will be close by to help my 5-year-old girl navigate the world of anaphylaxis.

This is also not about me teaching my kid to manage her allergies. Of course, we are teaching her to manage her fucking allergies, but she is five; I don’t know many five-year-olds who have the capacity to keep themselves alive in terrain laden with tasty nut-filled treats. After round one with an EpiPen, you can bet your ass she’s careful, but her four- and five-year-old peers will happily attest to the fact that the peanut granola bar or cookie they’re about to share with her is nut-free.

If I had it my way, the whole school would be nut-free, not just the little kids’ classrooms.

Have you seen kids eat? They still spill shit, get it on their fingers, and wipe in on the chair or under the table. That glob of PB & J on your kid’s fingers just ended up on the door handle, or a book, or a chair and when my unsuspecting kid comes along and touches it and then rubs her eye or picks her filthy nose, will she die? I don’t know, but dammit, I don’t want to find out.

Can’t you just leave the fucking peanut butter at home?

I’m sure I’ll be hated for this letter, as I know the importance of that peanut butter. I know I should be ashamed for asking our community to band together to help prevent my little girl’s demise, but I give zero fucks about your need for the free will of PB&J. I’m a mama bear, and I’ll fight for my child when you don’t care. I’ll piss off any number of people to advocate for my child. I’ll impose on your lunch-making routine to ensure that my daughter has the best chance at surviving the day when I send her off to school.

So yeah, fuck you and your peanut butter. Leave your peanut butter at home.


Jill is a seeker, writer and blurter of truth. She is a top-notch Vagina Evangelist, wife to a hoarder of camping gear and mother to 2 girls, 2 dogs and a cat who's been perilously close to death for several years now. From wildly comedic to tear-dripping serious, you can find her stories on her blog, Totally Inappropriate Mom, where her 'life-uncensored' philosophy, naughty humor and general inappropriateness run the show.


  1. I love my peanut butter, but I love shorties more. Even if they’re not mine. Agree 100%.

    A note- as a former lunchroom worker- Be aware of cafeteria food as well as what the kids bring from home. In NY, one of the offerings is a grilled cheese. When kids are offered a pb & j, we have to include a cheese slice to make up the calcium requirement for the lunch.

    I was careful to change my gloves and never cross-contaminate, because I have friends whose shorties have nut allergies, but when you’re feeding 200-500 kids and have just a few hours to prepare… well cross contamination can happen.

    Constant vigilance is the only safe way for your child to attend school.
    (hugs) Mama.

    • Peter Gutierrez Reply

      So the needs of one compromises the needs of many? I’m not against protecting you child but, perhaps they can sit elsewhere or join a class with people just like them. No harm done. Everyone will be safe, and eat what they want. Trophies for all.

      • 1) Read act 504 – you are suggesting discriminating against a child due to a medical condition
        2) Before you make a stupid comment, do some research. Sit elsewhere??? Did you read the full blog post?? Its not just about seat location. Your kid may have a little peanut butter left over under is finger nails. It can get transfered something within his classroom that is shared, and my kid comes and touches now uses that same computer mouse. HE COULD DIE FROM THIS SIMPLE TOUCH. You fucking moron. And seat location? Read a book. Its fucking airborne you piece of shit. Eat your fucking peanut butter at home.

        • Annie's mom Reply

          What about kids eating before school. It is impossible to ensure the complete lack of allergens.
          Did you know that the leading food allergy advocacy group in the nation apposed these bans because they are leading to more inadvertent exposure than before?
          I don’t see having children sit at a peanut free table as discrimination. It’s a safety precaution. And a much more practical one than banning every other child from having such products. And how far does it go? What about the hundreds of “May contain” or “processed with” foods? Are those to be banned as well? I get that your job as a parent is to care for that precious child. But if you want support and for people to be able to stop and listen and be empathetic speaking down to them in such a manner is not the way to illicit a supportive response. So I can’t help but think that you were not looking for one but only talking down to people for the sake of doing so.

        • You are discriminating. You are saying that anyone who does not follow your daughters need to ban nuts is an asshole, and other prophanities. Here is the hard truth, if her allergies are that severe, why stop with just the school? Movie theaters should be forced to remove all nuts. Airplanes, libraries, any place she might go that serves food and people consume it. Let’s just wipe nuts from the planet. Because she might die. Fuck the world. Let save your child

          • Experts tell us it’s next to impossible to get sick from peanut butter in a sandwich. Recently Health Canada came out and reiterated that recently.

        • Rational and educated person Reply

          Please read and comprehend Act 504.
          1- a food allergy is a medical condition; however it is not a recognized disability; therefore 504 does not apply
          2- if it did, Act 504 requires individual accommodations, not modification for the entire student body. For example, the fact that one child has a learning disability does not change the curriculum or teaching approach for the entire school or even class. Therefore, a separate eating space would comply.

          While the author’s basic premise, that her child’s life is more important then another child’s preference is compelling, it’s flawed. Of course no one wants your child to die and of course you can and should be protective of your child, but it is absolutely unreasonable to ask that no child bring a food allergen to school. My daughter (who has no food allergies) is in the “food allergy” kindergarten class. Apparently, the school thought inconveniencing one class was easier. She has three children with different severe food allergies, all that we were told are life threatening. They include…nuts, eggs and dairy. Please consider that for a moment… we have been asked that no child bring anything that contains nuts, eggs or dairy…my daughter eats school lunch everyday whether she likes it or not because it’s almost impossible for me to navigate that. I find this annoying but fine…until I told the teacher I was bringing a treat for my daughters birthday (which complied with all of the above) and was told I could not. The only approved “treat” for her class is Oreos…which she does not like. No, my child’s birthday is not more important then your child’s life, but her feelings are still important. I am now beyond annoyed, if it were a school wide ban, I’d be infuriated. It would be absurd to ask an entire school to eliminate all three. Or…perhaps it should just be for the nut allergy since it is the one YOUR child has. Yes, it seems you have the moral high ground when you say your child “could die”, but all children are fragile and being a parent it terrifying because of it. Your child is not the only one at risk…lots of children are at risk in lots of different ways and it is impossible to accommodate them all or eliminate all risk. The problem is not your point of view, it’s the fact that your point of view is so incredibly narrow. The question is not whether or not a child’s preference outweighs another child’s allergy, it whether or not an entire class or school should be modified to accommodate one child’s specific needs. The answer is no and if you considered the question beyond your specific child’s need, you would agree.

      • Janet Staunton-Latimer Reply

        Omg peanut butter can be a snack eaten at home without a problem for the peanut butter eater. And while teaching them to care for their peers! Peanut oil is insidious stuff period and in the messy hands of little kids everywhere but their mouths. I wanna puke thinking u commented this AFTER reading what this person went through with their child – stabbing her w epi pen when she couldn’t breathe!!!! I love peanut butter and would ban it everywhere before segregating kids at lunch so someone could eat it at another’s peril.

      • Four years old never had any nuts. People have life threatening allergies to many things. Studies suggest that not giving allergens to young children as you are introducing solids has been a contributing factor to the rise in reactions. Just because something bad happened to you is no reason to make everyone lose out on nutritional low cost food. Much better to limit your child then Everyone else.

    • Fuck you parents with your school nut bands
      Guess what the world is not but free
      Maybe we should ban eggs and fish also people are allergic to those also

      • Janet Staunton-Latimer Reply

        Egg and fish aren’t oil based and therefore don’t have the same stick to the surface issues of peanut butter but you don’t seem to care about anything but your freedoms based on your comment.

  2. My cousin smelled peanut butter b/c she begged her dad to let her…and she almost died. My 6yos best friend at school is allergic to peanut butter. I won’t let the boys eat peanut butter at home in the am if they are going to school. I don’t want to risk it. I hear those people talking like that and it stuns me. I have a pineapple allergy so I get how people don’t think something is serious and it is.

    It’s like really it’s not being banned from the world, just don’t let your kid eat peanut butter at school.

    • Can totally relate to this article. My daughter has a nut allergy as well as a pineapple allergy so lunch and snack time is a constant label checking adventure at daycare and an absolute terror filled nightmare at birthday parties or holiday parties cause you never know if a parent “forgot” to leave the nuts at home.

      • Your child if allergic to nuts should be homeschooled it’s called a public school. I understand the severity of nut allergies, yet that does not justify imposing on other people’s freedoms. If you or your child is allergic to nuts it is your responsibility to ensure it doesn’t pose a problem, you burn on an airplane they ask you to refrain they don’t band nuts they can’t tell you what to eat.

  3. lydia marsh Reply

    I dont understand if your kid has allergies so bad they risk death they should just keep them home along with all the antivaxer kids
    we have shifted from accommodating the healthy kids to accommodating the vulnerable and sick ones when does it fucking end. open up schools for sick kids and put all the restrictions you want on them so sick of this shit

    • God, you are so right. I mean, what will come next? Will we start accommodating insensitive assholes like you and letting rude jerk-offs get away with saying whatever thoughtless crap comes into their small-minded heads? Will the world stop turning on the day you realize that your incredibly fortunate to not ever have to suffer from anything slightly difficult ass does not, in fact, sit at the center of the world? Why don’t we just go ahead and kill off everyone that is weak in this world? #wtfiswrongwithyou #getoffoursiteahole

      • Hey! Guess what. We are allowed to say what we feel just like you do and as a person with an allergy I happen to agree with her. If we have to deal with someone blogging “Fuck you and your peanut butter” then put your big girl panties on and deal with the back lash.
        You do your child a disservice when you teach them that the world must accommodate them. They must learn to live in the world that you bore them into. If you want to create a peanut free zone amongst you, your family and friends then by all means.. Do so. But to demand that the entire world must accommodate your child is selfish and self serving.
        There are compromises that many schools are doing and maybe you should learn to live with those instead of going off on parents who are trying to teach their children to be sensitive to other peoples needs while understanding that the world does not revolve around them.
        My children eat peanut butter. Deal with it

        • Jeanne you are correct! What a nasty blog. Why would anybody respond to requests, with that attitude and language.

          • Anonymous

            Absolutely. Though, it would be sad to me if a child died for our rights, for something easily to change. Our little guy loves PBJs, lives on them. But, now maybe he’ll take toast and jam and a boiled egg instead. ‘Cuz a good friend in his class is deathly allergic. This blog post was despicable, but remove the foul language and she’s right about many things.

          • Oh look it's the censor

            How are you more upset about the word “Fuck” than a kid almost dying?
            Get your priorities in order.
            Like you were so made she said “Fuck” that you’re going to ignore the possibility of dead kids?
            The only nasty thing here is that line of thinking.

        • Keep your fucking peanut butter at home you insenstivie asshole.

    • Hey Lynn, her grasp of the English language is weak. Also, her intelligence appears to be lacking. Based on her comment, it looks like she’s trying to say that vaccines cure food allergies and/or she’s afraid kids with food allergies are infectious. Perhaps she’s offering herself up next to be culled. #motherofavaccinatedchildwithfoodallergies #IvoteforTechnocracy

      • It is interesting that this thread has splintered off to the topic of vaccines. The number one cause of the surge of severe peanut allergies is in large part caused by vaccines with peanut oil bases being injected into babies with fragile, developing immune systems. Certainly we can all do out best to support these allergic children after the fact – but our best course of action as parents is to educate ourselves so we do not cause the situation in the first place.

        • I was wondering when someone would mention this, or GMOs… that’s a topic for another day, but seriously, these allergies and auto immune problems are coming from somewhere. .. thank you.

    • Are you freaking kidding me? Keep kids with allergies at home? That is so not a parallel to anti-vaxxers, I have no idea what planet you may be on but logic is absent. We live in a community. In a world together. If you need to have a freaking peanut butter sandwich so bad that you are willing to risk a child’s life, you should stay home. We’ll make a peanut butter school for you and your peanut butter friends and you can spread it all over each other. Oh my God. Where is the compassion here? These children have life-threatening allergies. I hope for your sake you never have to face something like this and an a-hole like you who doesn’t care about others.

    • Accommodating kids with allergies is about empathy. From your response, it sounds like a nut free school is the only place your kids are going to learn about that.

      • As long as this ahole parent is around, that campus will never be “nut free”.

    • Lydia you are a disgrace to the human race. It truly a shame that you can not show some compashion. I bet you also get annoyed when you have to accommodate for a person who is on a wheelchair or blind. You want us to put them in a special school too?

    • Will you pay the bills for those families? Everyone can’t afford to stay home and I’m pretty sure you know they can’t just get GOV assistance because of wanting to stay home to keep their child safe.

    • PB Free Mommy Reply

      Totally agree!

      While we’re at it, keep your damn autistic kids at home too. Nobody wants to have to cater to their needs and give them a shot at a normal childhood, right?

      Oh, and if they wear glasses, fuck that. What if those glasses fall off? Is it up to my NORMAL kid to pick up their glasses since your dumbass eyesight impaired child can’t see?! Ridiculous!!

      While we’re at it, why stop there? Those shy kids fucking annoy the hell out of me, AMIRIGHT? I mean, speak the fuck up already! They’ll never make it in the real world if they are too lame to make friends now. Why should my normal, outgoing child have to sit next to your homely one? Homeschool time!

      This is sound what you sound like, Lydia. An ignorant human being spewing hate. Remember you are speaking about CHILDREN. EVERY child has a right to a safe and inclusive school environment. Not just the ones YOU think should. You are a disgrace.

      • My issue is this – where does it stop? My kid is allergic to cats. And not just hey my eyes kinda itch kind of allergic but they same, I have held her down and stabbed her with an epiPen while she was purple kinda allergic that you have expressed. I did this at her school where her classmate brought a blanket from home for story time that apparently the cat slept on. So, where does it stop? Does everyone in her class have to get rid of their cats? What about my friends daughter who is allergic to beta caratine? Yep that’s right no carrots, or squash, or bananas or watermelon. Where is the line? There are children in every classroom with a Variety of allergies of one degree or another. So do we ban it all and they come to school in bubbles? Because if your kid pet your cat this morning she could kill my kid? Or is it our responsibility, as parents of kids who have life threatening illnesses to protect our kids by keeping them home until they are responsible and trained enough to navigate the dangers?

    • Here’s the difference… My kid didn’t CHOOSE his allergies and neither did I!! The parents choosing not to vaccinate are doing just that, CHOOSING to put their children’s life at risk and therefore other children in turn. I’m not sure how your child NOT eating PB endangers his life. Please explain?! How do you also feel about children with ADHD or other learning disabilities? Should they also be kept home and away from your perfect, healthy “not sick” child? Or is the extra attention they ultimately demand AND deserve take away from the time a teacher “should” be spending with all the “normal” kids?? The lack of community these days is just sad. Why can’t we just be supportive of each other as parents. That’s our common ground is it not? Truth is, you can’t understand what it’s like to have something as simple as food potentially KILL your child and not having a say if anyone gives two craps. Also this letter which I found kinda funny and in my opinion light hearted is most likely coming from a place where she’s dealt with so many people NOT caring and or taking her daughter’s allergies seriously that what other choice does she have than to take a more drastic approach. At least it got your attention (negative or not). And while I’d never wish food allergies on any one, hopefully one day you’ll understand one way or another.

      • So we should be supportive of one another and have community? And we go about building that community by calling everybody who isn’t yet convinced of our point of view “bitches” and yelling fuck you at the whole world? That’s the part I don’t get.

    • God forbid you ever have a child or a member of the family that has an allergy or illness. You’d probably just ship them off for someone else to deal with.
      Peanut butter is NOT a necessity.

    • Lady I hope you never have to stab your child with the Epi pen. It’s the worst thing you will ever do.
      Also no keeping my allegy child home is discrimination and aren’t we past that now? It’s 2015.
      Your ignorance is disgusting to me.

      • Discrimination is a great word! If my kid will only eat PB&J, isn’t that discrimination against them?? Seriously people, the school cafeteria serves PB&J.

    • Are you fucking serious? How cold are you? Damn. That’s all I have to say. Wish I could say this to your face. I don’t need to hide behind a keyboard and cuss. I would LOVE to do that to your face. Un-Fucking-Believable.

    • Are you that ignorant or just looking to stir up a shitshow? I have anaphylactic reaction to shellfish and some anasthesia. It is one of the most terrifying things I have endured. That also includes almost losing my own child in a horrific car accident. When your airway is closing, it’s lightning fast. So fucking scary. It does take your mind off your eyeballs itching. Hives head to toe and inside. Last time I lost my job. It took almost six months to recuperate so fuck you you ignorant twatwaffle.

    • Perhaps as a child, Lydia learned fear and hate at home. I hope she has someone to help her and her children recover from this terrible disability.

    • Dearest Lydia,
      I wish you had a peanut allergy so I could shove some Jif down your throat.
      Harsh? Perhaps, but I thought getting to you level would make it easier for you to understand. I apologize for this being grammatically correct. I have some standards.

    • Funny to me that you feel that non-vaccinated kids, which is a parental choice btw, should be left at home, which actually is protecting YOUR child, yet you complain about leaving a peanut butter sandwich at home, which could protect the life of someone else’s child. Not vaccinating is a choice. Having a deadly allergy is not.

    • Sweet Lydia,
      I hope you read this to see what an arrogant asshole you are. I was diagnosed with a peanut allergy at 3 years old and It only got worse as I grew up. Because of my allergy I am a strong, brave, responsible, caring, and considerate 18 year old girl. There are more women or should I say beast like you in this world. I recently had an allergic reaction and ended up in the hospital. Do you know how it feels to not eat because your scared? Do you know how it feels to eat something and feel like your throat is closing? Do you know how it feels to go to a birthday party and leave early because the snacks may contain peanuts? Do you know how it feels to get bullied in school because your that kid that caused the class not to get a treat? Do you know how it feels to have a panic attack because your classmate is eating peanut butter and you have to run out of the room? No, well your lucky. You are incredibly lucky that your children can eat whatever the fuck they want. If they couldnt, then you would be on the opposite side. You are lucky that you will never have to stab your kid in the thigh with an Epi-pen. I am POSITIVE you would never want your child to go through what others have to.

      My classmate had a diary allergy and ended up in the hospital last June. He has been in a coma. How do you think his family feels? They haven’t talked to their child since JUNE! My funny, awesome, sweet friend did not get to participate in events that the senior class did because of his SEVERE food allergy.

      Imagine if people could be considerate for others. It’s not that hard to leave certain foods at home to ensure others safety. I am not one to curse or be rude but when I see this like this, it hurts. It hurts to know people will risk others lives. Thank you Jill for this wonderful post that my mom and I related to and thank you to others that are so understanding I wish more people were like you.

    • Thank you though…because I have to find my picky eater to eat something else now. My kid comes home every day with a sandwich still because she refuses to eat it. Hates turkey and ham so far. All she wants to eat is peanut butter and fluff. So thanks for me worrying that she goes all day with only eating a snack that I pack in her lunch….makes me worry too about my kid. And on top of that our school doesn’t allow dairy products either. I have no idea what to give her now…water? So apple slices and water….wonderful

        • Unfortunately up here in Canada wow butter had been banned as well just because the teachers cant tell the difference.

          • Anonymous

            I’m in Canada and it’s allowed in our schools as long as we have the sticker on it. – Midland Ontario and Barrie Ontario

          • Wow Butter is now banned in Simcoe County (Barrie/Midland) so my 9 year old, failure to thrive, 40lbs of child with texture and touch issues (NOT PICKINESS), heart and kidney conditions has now lost another 3 lbs in two weeks because some idiotic people can’t distinguish Wow butter from peanut butter.
            I agrees with your child having immediate and life threatening medical conditions. My child needs a high calorie and protein diet. He has eaten cucumbers and crackers and a protein beverage EVERY SINGLE DAY for a month now. I feel that he should be allowed some special considerations for his conditions. He may not be in imminent danger but six months from now he could have a heart attack from not being able to eat adequately for 5 of 7 weekdays.
            I am told that I need to quit my job, drive to the school twice a day, and eat with him in our car in the parking lot OR provide him with a dairy, soy, peanut/tree nut, seafood, strawberry, tomato and gluten free lunch.
            I guess I am being forced to withdrawal and homeschool…

      • fruit, crackers, ANYTHING else without elements that could kill a child. Kids eat if they are hungry.

      • Ask the moms of the allergy kids for some recommendations. There are many options that we’ve had to find over the years since peanut butter wasn’t available.

    • Nasty thoughts . I do so hope your healthly children don’t develop alergys ! Treat them like leapards and send them to an island. What are your views on special need children? You are so close minded. Open up your mind and your heart will grow

    • I dont [don’t] understand [.] if [If] your kid has allergies so bad they risk death [,] they [you] should just keep them home along with all the antivaxer kids [.]
      we [We] have shifted from accommodating the healthy kids to accommodating the vulnerable and sick ones [.] when [When] does it fucking end. [?] open [Open] up schools for sick kids and put all the restrictions you want on them [.] [I’m] so sick of this shit [.]

      Dear Lydia,

      If it takes this much editing to make your comment appear as though a literate person wrote it, then the badly words written can and will be completely disregarded by those who have the education and respect to write properly.

      You’re awful in so many ways.

      • ‘Badly words written??’ If you’re going to correct someone, at least get it right yourself first.

  4. As the mom of kids WITHOUT allergies in a nut free school, let me just say this was so well written and such an important message. One I needed to read, for sure, so thank you for your message.
    Lydia Marsh, I could spend some time crafting an intelligent response to that incredibly mean spirited and narrow minded comment; but it would probably be lost on you. I hope people that share your POV AFTER reading this are the exception.
    Jill – good job, mama

  5. I’d be far more inclined to be respectful of your position if it wasn’t so loaded down with hostility. While I am someone who strives to be considerate of others needs or concerns (example: I have three cats so I warn people BEFORE they visit my home), I’m also someone who will throw out a giant FUCK YOU to anyone who thinks I should bow to them.

    We can all live peacefully and respectfully toward each other without such hostility. Want people to be considerate of your child’s health concerns? Then don’t call them self-righteous assholes or any other choice word because maybe they’re concerned that their ability to do something is taken away. I know people can be assholes about things like this but that doesn’t make it okay to respond so harshly.

    • As an allergy parent who has seen quite a bit in life, you wouldn’t believe how flat out MEAN some people can be to these innocent kids. Imagine people telling you your kid should just die, that it’s natural selection. That’s what a lot of us have to fight. :/

      • I get that people can be mean and I agree it’s not right. But I’m of the belief that responding to meanness with more meanness is no way to handle an issue. Take the high road and be mature about it. It’s that simple. We can choose how we respond to stupid comments and it doesn’t have to be stooping to some asshole’s level.

        • Between adult disagreements, I would agree, but I’m pretty sure almost all of the BLUNTmoms think the world would be a better place if society gave no quarter to people who threaten or harm children. We invoke the momnado over people who harm kids. Zero tolerance.

          • That’s where I disagree. Just because you’re moms doesn’t make it right to be an asshole. I understand wanting to protect children, but there’s a positive way to go about it and a negative way. NO ONE should be expected to cater to anyone even if you’re a mom. I am so sick of moms acting like everyone should just drop everything and cater to their needs. Umm, NO. Respect and courtesy is a two way street.

          • You and I will have to agree to disagree then, because if there’s any chance a body bag might get involved, I would absolutely expect you to cater to a child’s needs–NOT ours, theirs–even if that only means not bringing peanut butter to school. And if you think someone asking you to be considerate of a child’s needs is disrespectful, then perhaps you need to see what it’s like to watch a small child suffocate and go into anaphylactic shock. Also, this is BLUNTmoms. If you’re looking for fluffy mom blogs of people who don’t swear and tell it like it is, you’re in the wrong place.

    • First of all, not sure if you saw the name of the site? BLUNTmoms. Look up blunt in the dictionary. This is not KumbayaMoms. Go somewhere else for that. She’s ranting, yes, because she has to. Because no one will listen. Because there are nut-free signs up and people ignore them. Because her child could and almost has died. If you are talking about the comments, move along sister because they are in response to an incredibly cruel and ridiculous notion that kids with allergies don’t have the same rights as other kids. Huh? How is that logical? How is that a way to live our lives and teach our children compassion and empathy? Parents of kids with severe allergies live in constant fear. If you are a parent, you may live in fear of your child’s safety anyway, imagine everyday, sending your child to school and wondering if they will be taken to the ER at lunch.

      • There is a HUGE difference between blunt and being an asshole. You can be blunt without acting like the world should bow to you and then get pissed when not everyone does. I can’t stand inconsiderate people, but I also can’t stand it when people get on their high horse, especially moms. I get the concerns, I really do. But that is no excuse for calling people righteous or jackasses.

        • So, I’m going to go ahead and call it a day with you Kim because you’re wrong. She did not ask the world to bow to her and if you read the post that way, then you missed the entire point. People who endanger children, needlessly or otherwise, are jackasses. Especially if it is an incredibly easy fix not to do so. You are so out of your league here I can’t even begin so I’m going to end. BLUNTmoms. Go hang out on another site.

          • Fine. I’m wrong. Whatever. Clearly you have an issue with debating maturely since you also unfriended me on Facebook. GOOD RIDDANCE.

          • Anonymous

            I believe Kim is NOT a MOM. I also firmly believe that she would definitely see things differently if she were. Geez.

          • Debating maturely? AYFYM? This is not up for debate, and yes I did unfriend you. You. Are. Wrong. This is not up for debate. Buh bye.

          • He made a great point. You lost the argument on the difference between bluntness and asshole attitude. So instead you’re twisting your argument around to make him look like he’s not caring about kids. Staying that he’s wrong over and over doesn’t make you right. You’re just trying to end the conversation and get the last word. Sad.

        • I didn’t think the mom writing this post was an asshole at all. I think she was justifiably impassioned. I fully support her.

        • Kim- Says the person getting on her high horse about cursing. Fuck. It’s just words. Do words offend you? You know what fucking offends me? People who try to derail a conversation by getting worked up over stupid fucking bullshit like cursing. Grow the fuck up. If you can’t handle a few fucks being thrown around you probably aren’t cut out for the internet in general. (By the way. If you had repeatedly had parents blow off the nut free policies because their precious snowflake was a picky eater, you’d be pissed too. You might write an angry rant and drop a few fucks. Unfortunately nice and sweet doesn’t always get the message across. And I’m tired of the world expecting women to be nice and sweet and proper every fucking time we speak out about anything.) Signed, A Parent of Kids With No Life Threatening Allergies Who Has Common Fucking Decency

    • Kim- Did you realize you are reading an essay from a website called If you don’t like to hear things bluntly, you are clearly on the wrong website. Get with the program.

    • I agree with you Kim. There is a difference in BLUNT and HOSTILE. She came at us the wrong way. I would have been more empathetic if she wasn’t so damn harsh and just explained the situation. Educating others is more effective than attacking them.

    • I am in agreement, to a degree, with Kim.

      But first to address this:

      1. Don’t have a child
      Have four bonus (aka step) daughters. Don’t have a uterus, nor did I want to give birth, but love them fiercely.
      2. Haven’t had to experience an allergy, chronic/genetic disease, handicap, cancer etc.
      Have had cancer three times – was given six months to live at the age of 21 when diagnosed with the my third form of cancer, a type of leukemia.
      3. Are selfish
      Please survey those who know me. I could give you an accounting of the thousands upon thousands of hours I donate to worthy causes, dollars, etc. but it’s not my job to convince you.
      4. Suffer from lack of compassion and/or empathy
      See above. That is just ridiculous.

      Now before people get their panties in a bunch…

      I get the Blunt Moms forum. But the belligerence the entitlement lost me and yeah, I rolled my eyes. The overuse of f-bombs did not emphasize the point for me. They made me think, “This writer can’t make a point with dropping f-bombs.” And yeah, I use them, too but over and over…I would have gotten the point the first time if my sandwich and I weren’t being propositioned for a fuck by the writer. Again.

      I have a friend whose child is allergic to eggs and ANYTHING made with eggs. See there is where I DO agree. There IS a responsibility for the parent to explain it to others. Some people aren’t going to get it and yeah, people are ignorant. Unless they are educated, then yeah, they won’t “get it”. Her child’s class is so restricted – they cannot even have certain breads for their sandwiches. Some parents had an issue with it until she sent information out to each parent along with a note from her daughter’s physician. And now, the parents are taking the “village” approach to protect her daughter. Her approach is much more respectable in my opinion.

      The writer herself brings up the point of another parent stating this makes life difficult for them. Well, it may not be fair, but if it is your child with the allergy and YOUR job to protect your child, then it is your job to educate others. It may be difficult for you to take the time to do it, but it’s in the approach and this one’s pretty shitty.

      • BLUNTmoms is a safe space for writers to blow off their steam in any language they choose, pontificate, or confess their darkest secrets. So we defend that entitlement to write a piece as the writer feels it needs to be written, and many readers and writers alike appreciate that we’ll protect that freedom of expression. -Editor Anne

    • It’s a blog called “Blunt Moms.” What did you expect, sugar coating?

    • Exactly Kim. If the “f yous” and the attitude was not there it would probably work.

  6. I can’t believe there is any controversy. I really can’t believe there are parents out there who would be anything less than 1,000 percent understanding about a deathly allergy. Also, the real world? At some point, a person with allergies will be old enough to navigate (with difficulty) the world without a life-threatening event, but children take a very very long time to grow up and until then we do ALL SORTS of things to keep them safe. Should we let small children drive cars because SOME DAY they will have to navigate the real world? Should we give them serrated knives at 3 years of age because SOME DAY they will have to navigate the real world? Of course a child with a nut allergy should be kept safe from peanut butter at school.
    I’m sorry you have to deal with any parent who lacks basic empathy. I live in NYC and I thought people could be insensitive here, but a lot of preschools are automatically nut-free facilities!
    I hope most parents don’t say anything but “What else can we do to make your child safe?”

  7. As the author of this hostile piece, I can wholeheartedly agree that it’s blunt, rude and maybe even in poor taste. I wrote this piece as an angry rant at the peanut assholes. Mama bear. That is all.

    • You don’t have to justify your anger to anybody. Your kid is always in danger and it is up to the rest of us to be the village for your kid. Asshats that don’t understand or help out will have their karma handed to them in life.

      • wait, so Jill can be blunt and angry but Lydia can’t because we don’t agree with her?

    • Don’t use the “mama bear” justification to explain rudeness. Rudeness is rudeness. Period. You can be mature and defend your child without resorting to asshole commentary.

      • Again Kim, I’m right there with you on this. If the author needs to vent, she should write in a journal. I don’t want to hear it given to me this way.

      • Allergic too Reply

        I agree. My issue is with the attitude she has that the only thing in the world that matters is her kid and everybody who isn’t on her train and puts her child over their own child can go fuck themselves, that’s the attitude I have a problem with!

    • You were not rude, Jill. There is a time and place for anger, even cursing. This was one of those times. Totally justified.

    • I don’t particularly like the language used but I don’t think you were rude really. The only people who would be offended by this is the people who ultimatley risk your child’s life and cause the anger. I understand that anger. My oldest can’t breath in the same room with strawberry. And I live in fear every day that she may not return home from school. We have made it to grade 12 but that hardest time was switching from the small saftey net of a strawberry free classrom to highschool where the whole school is eating lunch in the hallways… There was so many insidents where they only thing that saved her was her friends understanding and protecting her. Even from obtuse teachers sometimes. Even “in the real world” we protect our friends and coworkers by not trying to kill them.

  8. Kim, “mama bear” is exactly the word to defend my position. The bullies come out of the fucking wood work when this issue comes up and that’s who this little love letter is geared to. Nice folks like yourself don’t need to worry about fucking off. if your offended, so sorry.

    • From one ‘mama bear’ peanut-allergy-kid mom to another- I applaud your blunt honesty!

  9. I have been seeing a few posts on this topic and am trying to think about it from all angles. I am lucky that my son, as far as we know, is allergy free. However, my friends just found out there son had nut allergies (he ended up in the emergency room two days before his first birthday party). The problem is with just how serious the allergy is. I think it is reasonable to ask kids not bring nut butter sandwiches to school, but so many food products contain at least traces of nuts. The average parent probably doesn’t even realize that the seemingly nut free granola bar might have been made in a facility that also produces nut products. Is there a decent way to prevent those products from coming in? Maybe parents of allergic kids could help by putting together a cheat sheet? I am sure I would appreciate it once my son is in school.

    • Bless you for being considerate enough to ask for more info, Gail. Peanuts and peanut butter is an especial plague for two reasons: 1) some children can be anaphylactic allergic just to the airborne dust and oil (they call this airborne anaphylaxis). 2) peanut butter is easy to smear and difficult to detect on surfaces.

      Airborne anaphylaxis from tree nuts (peanuts don’t qualify as a tree nut cause they’re a legume) is very rare. But young kids like to share foods. If it says it does contain nuts/traces of nuts, you should avoid it. “May contain” usually is safe enough for your kid to bring, but not safe for the food-allergic child to eat (if they carry an epi-pen, they should always treat “may contain” as does contain, because there’s a considered risk of cross contamination of the food, however small). You can tell your child he can protect his nut allergic friends by washing his hands after eating and not offering to share food with them, even if he believes it’s safe. Usually, the allergic child understands!

  10. I happily comply with our school’s tree-nut-free policy (it’s a small school, with no peanut allergies). Hell, I would happily comply with a peanut-free policy as well.

    But I FUME at the fact that my immunocompromised child is similarly threatened by a school community with a 30% vaccine opt-out rate. He cannot get vaccines at the moment due to a medical condition. He has an auto-immune disease. His life is threatened by the spread of vaccine-preventable diseases.

    So we can, and do, ban food allergens, but can’t require vaccines of everyone who isn’t medically exempt? The threat is the same. My child could die if exposed to vaccine-preventable diseases. Non-vaccination contributes to the spread of those diseases.

    So leave your fucking peanut butter and your fucking measles at home.

    • I am totally with you Allyson. My kids are not immuno-suppressed but I am, so everyone gets flu shots and vaccinated (would anyway). I catch every single freaking thing that goes through the school. No matter what. And I get really sick because of it. You are absolutely right, if the children are not vaccinated against the illnesses, they are potential carriers, just as if they ran around with peanut butter all over their bodies and sat at the nut free table.

  11. Oh man, I wrote a whole long thing and I don’t think it posted. Anyway, my long-winded point was that ad a parent of an allergy free kid, I’d love for some guidance on what is acceptable. I know no peanut and other nut butters (duh), but what about things that sneakily have traces of nuts or are processed in the same facilities as nut products?

  12. My autistic daughter has a huge reaction to wasp stings. There was a period of time during which we believed it to be anaphylactic and we had to carry an epipen. The problem is that she doesn’t understand that they hurt her and likes to play with wasps. She was rushed by ambulance from school after being stung and injected. That was 4 months that we had to deal with that and I was terrified every minute that we were outside. That was only 4 months. And people weren’t actively bringing wasps to school choosing to endanger my child. I’d be pissed off too. Our schools are nut-free and I am happy about that because no mother should have to feel that fear when they send their child to school.

  13. Gail- thanks for being so thoughtful. There is no real way to be sure about sneaky nuts in otherwise nut-free snacks and unless you have a trusted brand that is always nut free because it is made in a dedicated nut-free facility, it is wise to not give said snack to the nut free child without asking their parent. Plus, anything that is manufactured in a facility that makes other stuff with nuts is a potential risk- my girl had to get an epi pen from a nut free granola bar that must have had traces in it… So scary.

    Enjoy Life makes nut free stuff- yummy granola bars…

    • I can’t imagine. I have another child on the way and am hoping he or she is allergy free. Given how common they are, I still want to be prepared.

  14. While I do really feel for this mom, I don’t think is beneficial to waste her time being angry at the few outspoken people upset about a ban. Most people (including parents of children with no allergies) support measures being taken to ensure the safety of children with life-threatening peanut allergies. Just take a look at this great article -> Furthermore, not all parents of children with allergies support an outright ban. Personally, I agree with FARE in that schools should have an allergy management plan in place, all teachers should be trained and an individual plan created for each child with allergies. Will I put up a fuss if my child’s school decides that a school wide ban is necessary for a child with a severe allergy? Of course not. Thankfully there are plenty of alternatives today (I found out when I had to give up all dairy and soy products when nursing my son). So, while I understand that this mother is ranting about her frustrations, I don’t think it’s very productive. I think we have learned from the recent vaccine debate that name calling only makes the opposition more firm in their opinion.

    • To Tricia and others who have complained about the anger in this post. What you seem to be missing is that this post didn’t emerge from one or two encounters with uninformed intolerant and/or selfish folks. This is what rhat’s out after trying to deal diplomatically with the relentless onslaught of often. Stupid and cruel reactions from people.

      This is what happens when the ‘straw breaks the camel’s back.’ Sometimes you need to just let out that pent up anger and frustration. Of course name calling doesn’t get you anywhere but generally the folks that lead us to feeling this way haven’t responded to any previously attempted reasonable discussions.

      I don’t have children with allergies to food (though one to a particular vaccine) but I have seen two children nearly suffocate to death. I’ve seen the shades move from pink to red to purple to blue. It is one of the most awful things you can ever witness. Though I had intellectually understood the dangers of foods to certain kids, I hadn’t got it at a visceral level until I read this post.

      Like Gail, I want to do more now for these kids. I want to embrace the writer with empathy. I am grateful for this post, both for what I learned but also for the cathartic relief that comes from writing a much needed angry post.

      So yes, rational debate is of course the best way forwards but sometimes you need to scream, and bluntmoms is a place where we support that. As many others have said, if you don’t agree, nothing is stopping you from clicking to another site.

  15. My daughter has a severe stomach sensitivity to artificial flavors, colors(red#40 etc) and sugars. She will be doubled over in pain sobbing if she eats these things. What do the teachers give out for good behavior? Candy, sour straws, M&M’s. What do the Girl Scout of America serve at all functions and camps? Sodas, Cupcakes, cookies, store bought low quality artificial crap. It is incredibly frustrating to monitor that and tell your child she can’t have those things when they are being passed out like…well like candy. I have had to write a letter to the school and meet with the teacher, and was told I would have to supply all of my own food if I wished to send her to a Girl Scout camp. I feel your pain, however yours is much more serious. Great post.

  16. so unnecessary to be so rude and secondly, there is tons of children with allergies, my daughters best friend can’t eat mustard and it might be anaphylactic, so what now? do we also ban mustard from the schools? what happens when she goes to the playground or to a dance class? sure you do whatever you need to keep your kid safe but there are limits and this peanut hysteria is taking things a little too far, in my eyes

    • @zoesmum 1) Do you often prepare a mustard sandwich for your child? 2) She wasn’t being rude she was being BLUNT. 3) Peanut butter is a whole new ball game. It’s so easily spread and smeared all over surfaces that you wouldn’t even realize–because, and as a teacher I have first hand experience–kids are super messy in the lunchroom, just like at home, only there’s hundreds of them, many of whom are eating little sandwich grenades. So no, this is not some “slippery slope issue,” and even if it were, I’d still tell someone to F off if it helped make a point that might help make someone realize they might be able to help keep my kid safe! 4) I love all the people on here that jumped the haters’ asses. I totally want to be friends with you! 5) Jill Mama Bear, you rock! Awesome post!

    • There is a difference between types of foods that cause the allergies too and types of allergies that makes a difference in how it is treated (or should be treated) peanuts and nuts are an oil. This makes it last whereever its been smeared. If the kids are eating peanutsbutter and playing on the playground … who goes out and uses soap and cleans the playground equipment. … and I suspect the walls and doorjams and desks are not soap and water cleaned either. oil doesn’t wash off in the rain and it doesn’t dry up and it doesn’t just wipe up easily. My oldest daughter is allergic to peanut but only very mildly (we have never actually seen a reaction but it tested positive) But she is severely airborne allergic to strawberry. We only had strawberry banned in her classroom so she could even be in the room. But if someone smeared strawberry on the playground as long as it wasn’t still fresh my daughter didn’t react to touching it. and generally after a good rain (happens in my area often) the playground equipment is washed of the strawberry. It doesn’t mean my daughter’s allergy is less that we only banned her classroom and not the school. Just that her allergy food is a bit easier to clean up after.

  17. Peanut hysteria? Have you seen a child suffocating? Have you seen a small lifeless body whose next stop is the morgue because people can’t be bothered to feed their kids peanut butter at home for breakfast or at snack time home for school or even dinner say smeared on apples (delish) as a dessert?

    I am blown away by lack of compassion and inability to see what actually matters. And I say this as someone whose kids can, very fortunately for me, eat everything.

    You should consider getting your eyes checked.

    • People who can’t be bothered to eat peanuts at home? What about parents who can’t be bothered to educate their kids on their health problems in order to prepare them for the real world. I’m allergic to chocolate and my parents didn’t get to get chocolate banned from schools because that’s ridiculous. Instead they educated me about what would happen and the consequences. I was 6 at the time and I understood well enough to be able to monitor myself. This is just lazy parenting.

  18. Hats off to you mum …
    You are right with everything you are saying and asking…..

    If it was there child they would be asking the same question …

    In Australia all schools are NUT FREE ..
    We in Australia are by NO chance allowed to send any peanut butter or Nutella sandwiches or nut snacks to school for lunch or recess…

    Some parents in this world need to stop and think .. And pull their heads out of their asses.

  19. I completely agree with “mama bear” and would do anything to protect my FA child. I am her mother and until she leaves my nest I will do what it takes to teach, educate, prevent, protectn stand up, advocate and keep her alive till she is old enough to go out into the “real world”…and even then I will still have an eye on her.
    So for those that think we FA parents live in a bubble…I hope you never have to go through what we go through every day. I drop my FA child off at school and everyday on our way to school we have the same talk…if some kid is eating in the line while waiting to go inside ask what they are eating, make sure you don’t share anyone’s lunch even if it looks the same, make sure to tell an adult if you feel a itchy or trouble beathing. I pray everyday that I don’t get a call from school telling me my daughter had an anaphylaxis reaction an is on her way to the hospital. I watcher her almost die and I would never wish that on anyone.
    For the people that don’t deal with food allergies PLEASE be more understanding. You do not understand what living in fear does to us “mama bears” I hold that burden (of keeping her safe and alive) not my child.

  20. Thank you for saying what so many mom’s want to say! Great post!

  21. Wendy Dougherty Reply

    You rock !!!! My thoughts exactly. My son can’t go to bible study at church because kids are allowed to bring tree nuts.

  22. Kelly Whitford Reply

    Dear Blunt Mom.
    I love you. that is all.
    a peanut/ tree nut allergy mom.

  23. I can see that some of the folks here want to turn this into an argument about “well, soon our kids won’t be able to eat anything because everyone is allergic to everything, so we shouldn’t ban anything…”

    My heart goes out to ALL of the allergic kids and adults. The bottom line is, maybe we can’t accommodate everyone and their allergies, but if someone asks me to not bring something to school, I won’t bring it. If my kids end up only eating meat rolls and carrot sticks, fuck it. That is fine. I’ll give them heaping servings of the shit they can eat, at home.

    Like it or not, food allergies are on the rise, and our schools and communities are going to have to find ways to keep everyone safe and relatively happy. What that solution is, I don’t know, but hopefully we can all approach it with compassion and understanding. My claws are out because of all of the attacks I’ve received while advocating for my kid. They say you catch more flies with honey (or some shit like that), but some bugs reaaaaally can’t resist vinegar. When the situation calls for vinegar, I’m bringing that shit.

  24. As a mom, I totally get it and, as a personal courtesy and compassionate human being would comply with a request to exclude peanuts from my child’s school meals in the event that a classmate was at risk (and have without complaint). But at the risk of inflaming the overwhelming majority of posters who think this is an open and shut case and that everyone that disagrees with this position is an asshole, quick research shows that roughly 4% of children have a peanut allergy. Only 16-17% of those children have had an allergic reaction at school because of accidental ingestion, so we are talking about this being a real risk for about .64% of kids, and these numbers don’t account for severity of allergy, which would bring that number down some as it applies to the kind of absolutely terrifying result the original post addresses. So from a policy perspective, I can see why an outright ban is not always readily welcomed by parents, particularly since any one child could be allergic to any number of things, so the list gets rather long if the remediation measure is a ban. And for the record, yes, I do think we should protect that 1 in 200 kids that might actually suffer here, but the issue is balancing how to best do that with the interests of others. Obviously, the low hanging fruit here starts with allergy education and management programs at schools.

  25. Breastfeeding’s got nothing to do with the development of anaphylaxis. I approved your comment so that I and others can tell you so.

  26. Oh Larry, it seems to me like you’re just trying to be a jerk. She was breastfed until she was 1, when she weaned herself. Even if she was breastfed by a golden retriever, that, my friend, is none of your damn business.

  27. It’s rather amusing how a few in here are telling those of who disagree to go elsewhere. Umm, two things.

    1. We’re all supposed to be adults. Aren’t mature adults supposed to be capable of having a conversation whether we agree with someone or not?
    2. This is a public website that is open to anyone who wants to read and comment. People are free to disagree with viewpoints. It’s rude and immature to not only call people assholes for disagreeing, but also to tell them to go elsewhere. If you can’t handle a difference in opinion that is your problem, not the person disagreeing with you.

    • I have to agree with you Kim. My daughter is allergic to peanuts, even to be touched by it will set her off. We have had to be so careful her whole life and requested special rules in her class and daycare. She is now 23 and still must be careful.

      However, I believe you catch more flies with honey and have always chosen to educate with kindness even in the face of the ignorant.

      I enjoy blunt writing but when faced with differing views your editors do seem rather nasty and ask those people to go elsewhere.. I love debate and appreciate a world of differing oppinions and ideas. It is how we treat the people delivering the differing oppinion? Question it without abuse is my choice. BUT, of course we are all different.

      Great article, I have taken it as tongue in cheek. I’ll forward it to my daughter for a read.

      Let’s all live in peace and show all some kindness. We never know the path they travel.

  28. Some kids don’t eat meat or cheese. So what should they eat? Why not find a school in the area that’s already nut free? There are other things that people have deadly allergies to…animals, bees, medicines…should all of that be eliminated too?

    • There are tons of substitutes that taste the same, we like wowbutter

  29. Melissa Kaye Reply

    “Breastfed by a golden retriever”
    I just cain’t!

    I understand your passion on this topic, as a medic I HAVE seen children on death’s doorstep with bugged-out eyes and swollen blue lips gasping for their last breaths because somehow somewhere they came in contact with peanut butter at the waterpark/school/birthday party. It is horrifying even with the training and equipment to try to save their lives! To try… doesn’t always work out so well.

    These people who feel so inconvenienced should think about how it feels for me to tell a parent that they can use that college fund to buy a tiny casket. It happens, people, and they love their child just as much as you love yours…so don’t be a dick.

    These are our children, for the love of gawd. If we do nothing else we should protect children.

    And let me introduce you to the amazing world of Nutella, the chocolate hazelnut yumminess of the gods that is so awesome that with one nibble your sweet precious won’t want to ever touch peanut butter again and you’ll wish you’d bought stock in that shit.

    • Seriously, you going to recommend Nutella, a poisonous chemical product, in lieu of Peanut Butter, a healthy organic all natural product.

  30. Amy Mathews Reply

    I have a son who absolutely loves peanut butter sandwiches. He eats them just about everyday… After school. He has never brought one to school. He eats something else at school and waits until he gets home for the peanut butter. He is 15 years old and has not died or gotten sick from having to wait until he got home for the PB&J sandwich.

    I used to coach baseball. Had a kid on my team who was severely allergic to peanuts. Before the games, I would remove all peanuts and sweep out the dugout. No one got sick from having to go peanut free for a while.

    My kids nor I are allergic to peanuts and we all love peanut butter but understand that our wanting peanut butter in not more important than someone else’s life. Asking someone to eat their peanuts at home and wash their hands afterwards is not a big deal. I don’t understand ignorant people who say otherwise

  31. I totally agree that children’s safety should be the #1 most important thing while at school, or anywhere away from their guardians. Children spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for about 10 months a year, for 12 years (or more) at… But, all throughout my schooling I never was not allowed to bring peanut butter, and no one died or was sent to the hospital. Schools are usually very good at protecting kids with severe allergies. Kids with allergies need to be properly and thoroughly educated about it and so do other kids. Because it’s true, in the real world they’re are nuts everywhere and these kids are going to have to be smart and protect themselves. I’m not saying all of this to sound insensitive, because I have a friend who will die if she eats nuts. She doesn’t think people should have to avoide consuming peanut butter just because of her. She’s responsible and is extra careful. Hasn’t had a problem yet…

  32. I’m so down with this. I love blunt and I love truth. My niece is a year and a half now and is allergic to many things despite still being breastfed. But around 1 year old my sister wanted to see how she did with peanuts, turns out, not so well. She now has an epipen. My son doesn’t have allergies that im aware of yet but even so, I would protect him or any other child from such a pointless and avoidable death due to allergies if I am at all capable of doing so. People need to put on their adult panties and realize that sacrificing peanuts for a few hours in a day is not going to hurt them.

  33. For Kim and others who identify with her post, you obviously:
    1. Don’t have a child
    2. Haven’t had to experience an allergy, chronic/genetic disease, handicap, cancer etc.
    3. Are selfish
    4. Suffer from lack of compassion and/or empathy

    Choose all that apply. I was you. Then I had children. They make you a better person. They make you WANT to be a better person. Then for no reason your child gets cancer when he’s 3 yrs old. Oh to be so ignorant again, but , you know what? I wouldn’t want that. Then I would never have realized how unimportant most things are. Life is ugly and beautiful, painful and glorious, evil and good. I choose beautiful, glorious, and good. Your words are ugly. They serve no one but yourself. When normal life is taken away from you, you strive to hang on to what is still available to your child. They can’t stay home every minute of their life! That’s not living, it’s misery. I hope one day you don’t find yourself without compassion from others when you need it most. You never know what the person next to you may be going through.

    • You are right I do not have a child or children. I also am not lacking in compassion nor am I selfish. Had you read my first comment you would have learned I am considerate of others when it comes to allergies. With three cats in the house I make it a point to ASK friends if they are allergic so they have the option of not entering home and risking health problems as a result of cat dander or fur. If that’s not compassionate then I don’t know what is.

      Furthermore, I can choose to be a better person even without children. Pushing a child out of your vagina doesn’t, by default, make you a kinder, better or more compassionate person. Yes, you can choose to do that once you have kids, but anyone can make that choice even without kids. Your statement is arrogant at best and condescending at worst. For all you know I’m infertile and cannot have kids and cannot adopt for whatever reason. So who are you to assume I am uncompassionate person or selfish simply because I don’t have kids? Get over yourself.

      And fyi — I suffer from depression and anxiety. I have witnessed and experienced plenty of ugly in my time. I’ve also been a sufferer of verbal abuse. Before you make ignorant assumptions about the choices I make, I strongly suggest you actually know me before tossing out accusations.

  34. Common food allergies are peanuts along with wheat, tree nuts, eggs, shellfish, soy, milk, and fish do they also have to stay home too? A lot of people are allergic to pollen does that mean we need to make all playgrounds out of concrete.?Children get hit by cars leaving school should people only walk to school?

    • Peanuts are responsible for more anaphylactic reactions then any other food . If a child had a severe reaction to any food in that contact or accidental ingestion could kill them, schools do ban those foods as well.

      so instead of trying to throw out a red herring how about deal with the problem at hand. Some risks are preventable and others are not . Preventing a child from having an anaphylactic reaction at school is preventable .

      Response like this are just people trying to justify the fact that the are being selfish and care more about the inconvenience to them then they do the life of someone else’s child

      • You are right, it is preventable. Educate your allergic child to stay away from peanut butter.

  35. Rage On. Just supporting your right to be angry and to use this as a venue to express that anger and get support. You probably knew you would get some negative comments too, but that’s how the world works. You are not being rude. You are speaking freely in a forum built expressly for that purpose.

    I wouldn’t go to a nude beach (or spend time with my 3 year old) if naked people made me uncomfortable. This is your pls to let that Mama Bear roar. I hear you.

  36. What?! Not breastfeeding = peanut allergies? A) There is NO fucking correlation and B) Are you really that dim? From your name, I’m going to go ahead and guess that you are a dude, did you breastfeed? Did you use formula? Were you shamed for either? Don’t even get me started on the pressure mother’s feel to breast feed and some can’t. That’s for another rant and I may just have to write it now. Either way, there is no cause and effect AND if there were, who cares? The child’s life is still in danger. I think the point everyone is missing is this “Is your child’s peanut butter sandwich more important than my child’s life?” There is only one answer to that: NO. N-O.

  37. My nephew had a deadly anaphylaxis egg allergy. I remember thinking it was a giant pain in the ass trying to keep all eggs or products with any egg in them out of his way. Especially when it meant managing my own kuds’ wants. We literally spent time crawling on the floor vacuuming crumbs.
    Then he had a reaction. Because a spatula that had been used with eggs was washed well by his babysitter. Then used to make something for my nephew. And he, too was wrestled to the have his epipen. And rushed to hospital. He, fortunately, was ok.
    I never bitched about sweeping crumbs again.
    I having a gluten allergy that half the world thinks is an affectation and treats it like an inconvenient choice – i get it, at least a little. To those folks I say, let me hit you upside the head so you can feel my migraine pain.

    for some, they have never experienced it So, because it’s not true FOR THEM, it’s just not rea at all. Sadly, you will likely never change that.

    • That’s right, vacuum, clean your house, do whatever you need to do. Don’t expect the outside world to change and everyone to adjust their life because of you and your problems. Deal with them how you need to deal with them, don’t expect others to do it for you.

  38. I get that peanut is a big allergy, and I won’t send my daughter to school with PB&J, even though her school allows it. Her BFF is one of the children with a Peanut allergy, and I do my best to help protect her. If we do this for one allergy, then doesn’t it make sense to do it for all? NO, because that is just impossible. I hope your child never has to deal with this at school again, and hopefully isn’t “sectioned out” for an allergy. It’s sad that as moms we fight over something as small and as big as peanut butter.

    Added: I am sympathetic to parents like this. I am also allergic to food. A very rare allergy to pork. So should I ask that the schools no longer serve bacon, ham, etc b/c there is a chance I could have a cross contaminated tong if I ever go to have a parent/child lunch or breakfast? I am lucky my kids didn’t get this allergy. But my son is very sensitive to anything with tomato in it. Should I demand that anything containing tomato or tomato product be banned when he attends school?

    • Kids can be airborne anaphylactic to peanuts. That puts them in a whole different category of deadly, and that’s why they’re usually banned.

      • But it is not the ONLY food that can cause harm just being airborne.I know this from experience. I just feel if you ban one, you ban all. Simple.

        • No it’s not the only one, but the others are extremely rare, and they don’t tend to smear and travel as much as peanut butter. There is more than a little precedent schools banning other individual foods in the classroom of an allergic child. If you have an airborne anaphylactic allergy to some other foods to contend with, you most certainly have that right to ask that the school help you protect your child. I haven’t asked for any special consideration for my son who’s dairy, nut and peanut, but the school voluntarily had the teacher talk to the kids, asking them not to touch my son’s food, or his desk, or offer to share with him. Schools usually are happy to help.

  39. My child is allergic to dairy egg citrus fruits and banana and luckily not peanut butter
    I can’t imagine asking the public school to eliminate all these items on his behalf even though if someone slips up it could cost his life. He does have epipen as well as the school and I may fight harder on the other end if he had a close call I get that. I think we as a nation need to figure out wtf is going on with this allergy epidemic we have here with our people nation and kids
    Cancer allergies diabetes obesity the list goes on
    Wtf is wrong with the picture

    • First of all, lack of breast feeding in today’s culture. That’ s a huge start.

      Google “breastfeeding and allergies”. Numerous studies were done, but people here tend to deny the validity, even though the studies are valid, done by scientists and medical researchers. It’s just an inconvenient truth to the hand wringers here.

  40. I will leave my peanut butter home….mmmmmm never. Your rights do not trump mine. Ever. The onus is ON YOU, not me, to protect your damn kid. You keep your kid home. Ohhh that’s harsh and ridiculous right? So is telling me what I can eat and where. You’re not the only one who can be blunt and sound like a goddamned moron, too.

    • Glad to see that you believe your eating preferences are more important than a child’s life. Congratulations on representing the worst humanity has to offer.

    • I agree 100%. Yes kids are messy and share, BUT your allergic kids rights should not TRUMP anyone else’s rights. This is requesting far more than reasonable accommodation. You of all people know how many things contain nuts, peanuts peanut oil etc. Yes, I do have children, so I get protecting your child with your entire being. I also know that not everyone will respect or want to follow special rules because of your child’s requirements. The real world is full of different minded people and they will also stand up for their rights. Sorry, but I feel your temper tantrum because other parents disagree with bans etc. is a bad example for your child. You know throwing a temper tantrum to get their way probably doesn’t work for them, why should it work for you an adult?? Arm your child with the knowledge they need to navigate in this world for the rest of their lives and try to educate others. However feeling entitled is a slippery slope and bad lesson for all of our children.

      • Hmmm. Entitled is not a word that I would use to describe a child with life threatening food allergies. Scared, anxious, shy, withdrawn, left out, different, self-conscious, burdened, sad…these words more appropriately describe the feelings of a child with food allergies. My guess is that you attribute that trait to describe a kid with food allergies due to ignorance. Kids with food allergies can lead a very scary, limited life. I have heard more than one food allergic child ask their parent if they wished they never had them. Entitled? I think that compassion and empathy are two important things you can teach a child. They are also important things for adults to learn. Life is long, and you never know what crosses you or a loved one will have to bear. I hope that when its your turn to need the understanding and compassion of others that you receive it. Maybe then you will find it in your heart to return the favor to someone in need. The world will be a better place when more people act from a place of love.

        • I guess you read the entire post? If you feel you/your child should get preferential treatment or bans put in place because of an allergy….Entitled is the appropriate word and very fitting. I am more referring to the mom trying to protect her child with this word than the child. This article wasn’t written by a child making demands, but an adult who apparently feels her child’s condition trumps everyone elses. She wants everyone to conform, and I get it, it is life threatening. However this is teaching your child that this is how the world works. As far as I’ve seen…nope. Then when this child grows up and makes similar demands, but doesn’t get their way. The HORROR and will they have the coping skills? Not if this F Bomb mom is the only one guiding her. I am not saying I do not have compassion and that I wouldn’t make an effort to meet the “demands” of these parents, I am just saying not everyone will. It is this mom’s right to ask for bans as it is also okay that the bans not be put in place. Teaching your child how to live with their condition and educating others would be way more effective than again throwing a temper tantrum and demanding everyone leave their peanut butter at home. Making sure the school staff knows how to react if something were to happen would be great place to start. Understanding that no matter how hard you try cannot control others. So all this negative spewing could be directed to something more positive. A lot of kids unfortunately wage battles against sickness and conditions every day and I must say they usually go about things with a way more positive attitude and outlook than most parents.

          • I believe the word you are looking for to describe when bans are put in place or kids with a physical disability receive “preferential” treatment is ACCOMMODATION (as per the American with Disabilities Act and Section 504) not ENTITLEMENT. The laws in this country require that all students, regardless of disability, have equal access to a free and appropriate public education in the least restrictive environment and the equal opportunity to participate in all school activities and events. Accommodations are put in place to ensure children with disabilities can have equal access to all things that other students have.

            Educating a food allergic child how to navigate the world with a food allergy is imperative and should be on the top of the list for parents of children with food allergies. However, you have to consider the age of the child and how much “responsibility” they can safely take on when the “risk” is death. I don’t know about you, but I’m not leaving it up to a 5 year old or even a 10 year old to be responsible for reading labels properly; knowing whether or not a surface was cleaned correctly; understanding that a cleansing wipe will remove food proteins, but sanitizing gel won’t; knowing and remembering all the places and situations that present a risk — from water fountains to chapstick to door handles to the desk they sit at or the crayon their bff just shared with them to the container or items used in their art project. Again, the risk isn’t just a hive or stomach discomfort. It is death.

            Understanding food allergies is complex EVEN for adults. Again, you are spot on that children need to be educated on all of this at appropriate ages and constantly reminded. But you have to know that developmentally they aren’t a miniature adult. They are impulsive, spontaneous, they want to fit in with the crowd — well — they act their age!

            These children won’t be at a disadvantage when they are released into the real world as they will have had years of education from their parents and their experiences outside of the school where adults role model for them, and when they are older they practice under the guidance of a knowledgable adult.

            Unfortunately, in many schools there is no teacher and staff training. I have had to initiate and provide training myself. I am sure that most of the parents of children with life threatening allergies do advocate for their child (tirelessly) in order to ensure their child’s safety. You can’t imagine what it’s like to walk a day in the shoes of a food allergic parent. Schools should be a safe space for children, not a scary place.

            Anyway – there are quite obviously opposing views on this topic. I GUARANTEE you that if the people who are against eliminating peanut butter in the school had a child with a peanut allergy and saw their child go into anaphylactic shock (or even just knew it was a possibility), they would be singing a different tune. It’s just a peanut butter sandwich after all. It is really that important that kids have a peanut butter sandwich? My experience has been that my son’s friends gladly forgo peanut butter sandwiches and items with nuts. Perhaps parents can learn from their children?

            As I said earlier, empathy and compassion go a long way.

            Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

            Compassion – sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

          • Anonymous

            Dina–since I couldn’t respond directly to your post I will add more to mine. I have access to a dictionary, but thank you for providing oh so many definitions.
            Here is one for you that I am not bending to my needs:
            en·ti·tled inˈtīdld,enˈtīdld/
            adjective: entitled

            believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

            special treatment: Your child has an allergy, mine can’t have Peanut Butter. Fine, but where does it end?? Can’t bring granola bars…they may have nuts. etc! I am against eliminating foods in schools. For many children this is the ONLY meal they get.

            BANS are not accommodation, a wheel chair ramp is an accommodation. Educating the staff in emergency response is accommodation. Sorry, but the shock able putting your alergic child at a separate table that is peanut butter/oil free…is accommodation. This does not hinder your child’s ability to go to school or get an education, however this option is not OK? Get over yourselves. A Ban is not accommodation, because it isn’t the only solution. You feel entitled that your solution of banning peanut butter is the only acceptable “accommodation”. The only thing you want is the peanut butter to stay at home. Well good luck with that. You are very passionate about this one allergy, when there are many and you aren’t fighting to ban those. Maybe because those don’t hit close to home…entitled. Anne that loves you even stated “No it’s not the only one, but the others are extremely rare, and they don’t tend to smear and travel as much as peanut butter.” entitled, because this is the allergy that matters to me. Peanut butter/oil allergy is also not that prevalent if you want to talk statistics.

          • Dear Anonymous,

            Hopefully you will get this response on your email thread, as your latest comment didn’t have a reply option.

            If you think someone wanting accommodations in place so they aren’t at risk for death makes them believe they are inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment, you are one SICK dude! I am sorry, but I find your arguments unpersuasive.

            Ironically, you assume a lot about things I didn’t state in either of my replies to you. You INCORRECTLY assume that my child has only a peanut butter allergy. Kind of takes the wind out of your sails to learn he has multiple allergies…huh? The only reason I added a comment to your particular post was that I couldn’t imagine ANYONE, even an ignorant person who had no regard for other peoples diseases, would suggest a child with a peanut allergy felt “entitled.”

            As an FYI, the reason peanut is the most often excluded food in schools is that peanut is the number one food allergen and peanuts are the cause of the most severe allergic/anaphylactic reactions. Moreover, of all of the foods to most likely to cause a severe reaction (peanuts, tree nuts, fish and shellfish), peanuts (in the form of peanut butter) shows up most often in children’s lunch boxes and school cafeteria menus.

            You seem to have your stats off a bit too. In the U.S., approximately three million people report allergies to peanuts and tree nuts. Studies show the number of children living with peanut allergy appears to have tripled between 1997 and 2008. So, your comment that peanut butter allergy is not that comment is WAY off!

            It is true that school provided free and reduced cost lunch is often a low income children’s only meal of the day. However, I don’t think that the processed peanut butter, laden with added sugars in the form of high fructose corn syrup, offered by school cafeterias is the best choice for a child’s ONLY meal. Perhaps a more nutrient dense choice would better serve this group of children? Trust me, unlike the “privileged” and “entitled” kids who are lucky enough to have mommy or daddy pack their lunches everyday or have the money to pay for school lunch, they WILL eat the non-peanut butter option. Also – peanut oil is rarely if ever used in school cooking as it is very expensive, although you are correct that SOME people who are allergic to peanuts MAY not react to the refined peanut oil. Highly refined peanut oil is generally considered safe for those with peanut allergy because the processing separates the protein from the oil. The resulting refined oil has negligible residual protein, and the peanut protein is what causes the anaphylactic reaction. However, that is not relevant to this conversation.

            Anonymous, as far as the legal definition of “accommodation” and case law that supports that, as an attorney, I assure you that you are off. For a brief clarification, there are three kinds of accommodations that are not considered reasonable: (1) It is not a reasonable accommodation if making the accommodation or allowing participation poses a direct threat to the health or safety of others; (2) It is not a reasonable accommodation if making the accommodation means making a substantial change in an essential element of the curriculum (educational viewpoint) or a substantial alteration in the manner in which you provide your services; and (3) It is not a reasonable accommodation if it poses an undue financial or administrative burden. Eliminating a food from schools or classrooms clearly does not meet any of the above criteria.

            Something that you are correct about Anonymous, is that I am very passionate about protecting children with food allergies. As a parent of a child with multiple food allergies I will protect my child’s life with every ounce of energy I have. Such is the love of a parent. I will also, when possible, try to educate others when they are “green” when it comes to food allergies. Some people are eager learners and crave information that will help them keep children and adults with this severe disease safe. With others, it falls on deaf ears. I believe you fall into the latter category. As such, I will not be responding to any more comments.

          • Anonymous

            Oh Dina,
            Of course you’re an attorney, who cares?? Throwing that out there doesn’t earn you ANY points and don’t even get me started with the high fructose crap. Not all PB is equal.

            First, I didn’t assume you have a child with peanut allergies, I don’t really care if your child has peanut allergies or if you have children for that matter. No wind from my sails. The huge problem in the world today is that we aren’t teaching our children how to cope. We are teaching them they are entitled and they aren’t. Then they get away from their parents and can’t deal in the real world. Outstanding!
            Second, I didn’t throw around any stats, so my stats aren’t wrong. You as an attorney should know you can pretty much find any stat you want to fit your needs. I prefer to research and verify information before throwing around numbers.
            Third, you stated you are “very passionate about protecting children with food allergies” That pretty much sums up the few eager responders on this topic and means you prove my point for me. We should be protecting all children and all needs with accommodation and education for those in professions dealing with children that have any condition, but that I guess is unreasonable and ignorant because that isn’t your mission.

  41. I love me some peanut butter but I love little tiny humans a lot more. I completely agree with nut-free classes, especially because kids are gross and do leave a little bit of everything they touch everywhere. My youngest child is mildly allergic to walnuts, nothing life threatening, just uncomfortable. I tried putting myself in someone else’s shoes and trying to see where they are coming from in this situation. I realize that I can’t even imagine how I would feel if I had to use an Epi-Pen on him or watch him fight for air. The mere thought terrifies me. If we can avoid that traumatic experience for a child, by just changing what we put in our childs lunch box, I don’t see the problem.

  42. Ok. I can see annoyance at being told your.kid can’t have something. But come on. It’s not a big deal. My daughter is the pickiest eater on the planet. Sometimes I make meals, and she won’t eat it. And you know what? That’s her decision. If she makes that decision, then she.might be hungry until the next meal. I try to make something she likes each day, but her tastes change so frequently, sometimes it doesn’t work out.

    All this talk about the real world. In the real world, we don’t always get what we want. Sometimes I.don’t love what I eat. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t want to do because it’s the right thing. It’s not the parent who has a child with allergies who is entitled. It’s the parent who thinks an innocent child should be locked away or risk death because poor little Timmy has been raised to believe he deserves to always get his most favorite sammich.. Heaven forbid he have to try new things, or even worse, his parent have to take the time to buy and prepare new foods he might like instead of merely slapping some Crap between some bread and calling it lunch. Being around nuts (although peanuts technically aren’t nuts) actually could kill some kids. In one instance, the kid is just being a spoiled brat who would rather go hungry than try something new. In the other case, a child could die. Which kid should take priority? Hmmm. And yeah, over tasters and blah blah. Those people are actually pretty rare. Most kids are just plain ole picky. And guess what? Having to eat a ham sandwich isn’t going to kill them.

    Well, that shit actually is pretty unhealthy. So maybe it will. But pb and j? Really? All that sugar or HFCS. Bleh. It’s probably for all kid’s good not to eat that Crap every day.

  43. What about almond butter? Other kids might be allergic to that. What about gluten? No more bread either. If you ban PB, I say ban anything and everything that someone might be allergic to which is basically just ban everything.

    Your constant use of profanity means you’re probably a great mother – you’re blunt because you’re mad about kids eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich same as has been happening for generations, but it hits home so now you’re mad about it and need to express it to the world.

    I get it, your kid has an allergy to peanut butter and you’re trying to protect said kid, but maybe your argument should include more than anger and profanity and offer some realistic solutions instead of the whoa is me, everyone must feel sorry for me because I curse about the issue and tell you how sweet my kid is approach.

    What about the kid that eats nothing but peanut butter, where it’s eat peanut butter or starve. Oh wait, that kids not yours, so you would just tell it to go f- itself in your mature writing style.

  44. What about the time when at school, they rigged up a toilet at the top of a stairwell with a hole cut in the bottom? Mr. Harrow sat on said toilet and dropped either one or two terds on a childrens.

    Now THAT is what we call POO HAIR. (not POO BEAR)

  45. I am absolutely appalled at some of these comments from mothers with such a blatant ignorant disregard for how terrifying it is for those of us who have to send our children out into the world everyday and just pray that they won’t encounter people like you and end up ingesting something that will KILL THEM! There is nothing nothing nothing as terrifying as thinking your child is going to die…..and in my opinion any of us who have gone through something like that have EARNED the right to voice our opinions with as many “f” bombs as we need to! Peanuts are like a weapon to my son…he is terrified of them and knows that they could possibly cause his death….I wonder how these moms would feel if THEIR children had to be exposed to weapons everyday of their lives????

  46. “So yeah, fuck you and your peanut butter. Leave your peanut butter at home.”

    I’m sure your kid will grow up to be a fine woman just like yourself, but please leave your foul mouth and anti-social attitude at home.

  47. Wow. This here’s a special brand of crazy. You may want to do a little research before your unfounded opinions continue to influence the rest of the crazies into being even more crazy.

  48. I totally agree with your position on PB. If it keeps kids safe, ban it. However, I am a public school teacher and have had more than onr parent tell me that if PB is banned in our school, they will smear it on thier kid’s shoes, just to prove PA don’t exist. PLEASE do not trust that a ban will keep your precious child safe.

  49. Pingback: Babies and Mothers » My Life Would Not Be Possible Without Feminism

  50. If my kid can’t bring peanut butter to school, yours shouldn’t be able to bring preventable diseases.

    – Dad

  51. Yup. Leave your sick fucking kid at home. I send my kids with pb & j every day even tho school says I am not supposed to. Why? Cuz fuck you if you have a peanut allergy. Don’t eat peanuts then. If you’re kid doesn’t understand then this oh well…accept the risks.

    • Rahshell Dorsey Reply

      Have you paid any attention to the way kids eat when they’re surrounded by friends? School lunchrooms are a madhouse and there are sticky fingers and smeared everything everywhere. I strongly feel elementary school should be nut free, they’ve no concept of the danger. Pre-teens can be more trusted with food stuffs and general use of napkins and hand washing. We all have enough anxiety about kids starting school and to add in the severity of an allergy, we’re complete messes. Yeah, it may be inconvenient because of the 1% but a child’s life is absolutely worth it.

  52. Muriel Crow Reply

    This is the most irrational thing I have heard. Fuck your child. She’s like, 0.1% of the entire fucking school. That means that, essentially, just because of a negligible minority, 99.9% of kids can’t bring some damn nut spread. Homeschool your kid. It’s 1 who can’t have it to 999 who can. Power in numbers. If your kid can’t handle something that is legit everywhere, don’t punish everyone else. Just put your fucking kid in a special needs school and stop whining.

  53. When I first started hearing about banning peanut butter from schools I was indignant. What about picky eaters like myself?! Why should such a small group control what everyone eats for lunch? My mom literally made me PBJ’s nearly every school day from pre-K to my senior year of high school, and I never had any friends or classmates with allergies. I opened this link fully expecting to disagree with the post and to move on with my life. And then, I read this: “Is your child’s peanut butter sandwich more important than my child’s life?”
    My heart nearly stopped in that second, and I felt nothing but shame for my attitude before that line. I’m not a mother, but I am anxiously waiting to start my own family with my husband. I already imagine threats against my future-children’s lives or well-beings and I can barely control my rage. How dare my MiL maybe think about leaving them on the floor with the dog alone? How hard do I have to bend a rifle before it snaps because my husband and his father took our kids shooting without ear protection? Do I need to strap a “DO NOT SPANK BABY” sign to my future children to make sure my parents don’t smack the kids when they’re being brats like their mother? These are imagined threats, and I already get myself in such a foul mood over them that I can’t talk to anyone for the rest of the day because of what I thought they might possibly do to my offspring that are currently just lonely eggs. It’s crazy.
    Thinking about someone’s child dying because of anything preventable enrages me, and I never thought about how deadly some allergies are. I once again realize that no one’s convenience is as important as a child’s life. Thank you for this article: I am forever changed by it.

  54. Many if us struggle to put food on the table. We rack our brains trying to provide our kids with high protein snacks instead of pumping them up with carbs. So this means that my child is not entitled to a good nutrition which will probably lead to obesity or diabetes in the future? I think not.
    Ive heard it all: shredded chicken, soy butter, etc. We barely get by month to month and we are expected to spend on these luxuries? Or screw it and give ur kids lunchables? Fruit with no protein? Pure carbs like crackers?
    Even though we are poor, we do everything in our power to ensure our kids have a balanced diet, including not using the free lunch which is processed animal fat anyways. But no, thats not ok. Just because your kid has health issues does not give u a right to assume that a) we have the means to acccomodate such luxuries and b) are willing to let our own childs nutrition suffer, when we break our backs to provide them with the best we can. Im sorry our best isnt good enough for you. Im sorry out budget cant accomodate your needs. Im sorry i care about raising a healthy kid too. But not everything revolves around your issues. We have them too.
    Does this make me a selfish, bad person? Just because the only way i can afford to provide for my children happens to clash with yours? Because maybe we have hardships that you dont know about we are evil for simply NOT having another healthy affordabls option? Im a mamma bear too and i will do everything within my power to raise a child that wont develop heart or diabetes issues as a grown up due to poor eating as a child

  55. I just stumbled on this article and I’m appalled at the comments. I am a very conservative Christian mom and yet, I don’t find this article offensive at all. Why? Because, if my child was in danger because of self absorbed idiots, you best believe curse words and fists would be flying.

    Guess what, curse words don’t mean crap. If you are going to get your panties in a bunch over a few well placed f us, then you need to grow up.

    I do think there needs to be more education with food allergies. Especially for parents of non allergic children. My daughter is allergic to yeast (yea, try to cut that out ugh) but it thankfully is not in that causes anaphylaxis. I, however, am severely allergic to some unknown substance and felt the panic of my throat swelling. No child should have to deal with that.

    Allergy parents, please explain. Maybe hand out a flyer to the class parents or something. Most of us want to help but don’t know what we can do to prevent contact with allergens. This goes for any allergy. There is no snack worth a life.

    It’s no wonder so many kids are spoiled self absorbed jerks. It’s starting at home.

    Thanks for this article. I will be sharing it.

  56. Hey, guess what. I have a picky eater. A “she will only eat PB kid” and you know what? No PB in her preschool taught her to like other things. She eats turkey now. And cheese. And sunbutter. Those that argue that their kids only eat PB? Are they really OK with that? Because let me tell you, I hate having to choose a restaurant based on whether or not they serve mac and cheese (though it does keep really well in a thermos for a non-pb lunch!) I don’t want a picky eater. Yeah, it sucks to argue with my kid about food, but really, I want to raise a kid who has diverse tastes. Who can go to a friends house for dinner and not demand easy mac. So, in reality, I think no PB is beneficial too my kids, too. And they can have their damn PB at home.

  57. I would like to ask this mother in all fairness and honesty…. does she realize nuts aren’t the only deathly allergies…. for example my son is DEATHLY (stops breathing, swells up, must be stabbed with an epipen and gotten to hospital) to all dairy and egg and sunflower …. so peanut butter mom would have to stop sending yogurt, or cheese, bread made with egg or margarine or vegetable oil as margarine has modified milk ingredients in it & you can’t use anything that lists “vegetable oil” as an ingredient as it is likely contains some sunflower oil… many processed meats and sausages contain modified milk ingredients, many pastas contain eggs… think about it. is she ready to ban these too. This is my life but it should it be every one in the school’s life? should i say fuck you and your eggs, and your yogurt and your cheese, and the milk in your teache coffee and… and.. and….

  58. Hey, guess what? I have a picky eater. A “she will only eat PB kid” and you know what? No PB in her lunch taught her to like other things. She eats turkey now. And cheese. And sunbutter. Those that argue that their kids only eat PB? Are they really OK with that? Because let me tell you, I hate having to choose a restaurant based on whether or not they serve mac and cheese (though it does keep really well in a thermos for a non-pb lunch!) I don’t want a picky eater. Yeah, it sucks to argue with my kid about food, but really, I want to raise a kid who has diverse tastes. Who can go to a friends house for dinner and not demand easy mac. So, in reality, I think no PB is beneficial too my kids, too. And they can have their damn PB at home.

  59. all good. I guess. but fuck you, too. my kid has aspergers and WON’T eat anything else. so he starves? and since you give zero fucks about my kid going hungry all day…I give zero fucks about nut allergies.

    • Valerie O. Reply

      Hi Mel, I have one of each. A kid with autism who will only eat 10 things (PB being one of them) and a kid with massive food allergies who CAN only eat 10 things. They overlap on 2 things – apples and Enjoy Life allergy free chocolate chips. Constant vigilance for the allergic one, and food therapy and constant encouraging to try new things for the one with autism. It’s a struggle. If I am able to send my daughter to school (if she grows out of some of her allergies), then I would definitely want her school to be peanut/nut/fish/shellfish free (these are the allergies most likely cause anaphylaxis and that people most likely don’t grow out of). Trust me. I know it’s hard trying to deal with a kid on the spectrum who refuses to eat anything but a small list of foods. But! I’m guessing PB is not the ONLY thing your kid eats. Otherwise he would be suffering from severe nutritional deficiencies. So at school he eats the other things – nutrigrain bars, pizza, graham crackers, milk in a thermos, or whatever he eats. Just to get thru the school day, and then he can have PB with PB on top when he gets home. I get the frustration. I do. I know you’re mad. But if your kid can’t eat at school – what happens? He gets really hungry, has a tantrum flips the F out, and over time learns to deal. Question – is your kid hypervigilant about handwashing and not contaminating surfaces? Probably not. He’s a kid. With a neurological difference that may make him more or less inclined to care about such things. But if a severely allergic kid touches pb smeared on a table? Game over.

      Soooo, I know you’re mad, but sometimes we all have to do things that are hard. I know you’re doing this every day as a mom to a special needs kid, but if your school requires it, you’re going to have to do a little more. Isn’t it nice that your school lets your kid go there? Isn’t it nice that he has an IEP and gets services and accommodations that help him? Isn’t it nice that your school district and this country recognize that autism is a real thing and it’s getting more common and something needs to be done? Yes! It is great. And it’s the same story with allergies and we need to do the same thing.

      For the record my daughter is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shellfish, eggs, soy, dairy, and wheat (the “Top 8” allergens). Additionally she’s allergic to beef, sunflower and sesame seeds, other legumes such as peas and lentils, pork, bananas, plus probably other things we haven’t specifically tested for. It’s terrifying and I would NOT send her to school in this condition. She will only go to school if she outgrows most of these things. But peanut allergies are COMMON. Lots of kids have them as their only food allergy. Banning it is not unreasonable and it would help a lot of kids.

  60. Allergic too Reply

    I have allergies too. And going to a restaurant is often a game of russian roulette for me. Just the smell of red pepper makes my throat swell. But guess what? I don’t “get to” ask people around me to go eat it somewhere else! If I don’t like it, I Get to go eat somewhere else. I see what you’re saying, but, no, you’re not teaching anybody anything of value by demanding that nobody be allowed to bring nut items to school. Sure, maybe for toddlers who really don’t know any better. But, where will it end? Are you going to call your child’s boss when she’s grown up and demand that they impose a no nut rule at work in case your child accidently eats something with a nut in it? Because, adults aren’t always any better at identifying what you’re allergic to, even when you tell them and spell it out for them how severe your allergy is. I went to a restaurant and told the waitress that you can’t just pick off the red pepper, it can never have touched the food or I will react to it. No problem, she talked to the kitchen and they complied about the one food item that was identified a having red pepper garnish, but, then they brought me a hamburger with red pepper in the relish! I had a couple of bites when my throat started swelling up. So yes, okay, play safe with the toddlers, but, realize that your daughter will ALWAYS have to be hyper-vigilant with what and where she eats and you don’t need to have such a dickish attitude about it in the mean time either. Lots of parents deal with things that have put their children’s life in danger, myself included, and no, it’s NOT appropriate to run around screaming fuck you and your peanut butter, fuck you and your child’s wants. It’s that attitude that your child is the only child in the world that matters that pisses other people off. And I’m sure you don’t care because you feel justified, but, you’re actually not. My child is asthmatic and is afraid to eat too much because the more full you get, the more pressure is on your diaphragm which triggers the fear that he can’t get enough air. He is a very picky eater because some foods make him feel more full than others, which triggers his fear that he’s not going to be able to get enough air. He was 2 the first time he woke up in the morning, ashen, barely breathing, thready pulse, listless. There is no magic shot to ease his suffering until we get him to a doctor, he just had to wait until we got to the doctor. Most kids are not even diagnosed with asthma until they’re about 4, but his symptoms were so severe, he was actually able to be diagnosed at 2. So, yeah, sometimes parents do have other concerns that are much more in-depth than just wanting the “convenience” of a pb and j. Sometimes, other parents are trying to help their child cope with an illness that is life-threatening too. So, maybe get off your high horse and have some of that empathy you’re DEMANDING others have for your child.

  61. Rahshell Dorsey Reply

    I’ve had daycare and school officials look at me like I had 3 heads when I asked if they ran a peanut free facility. Umm, Joseph was diagnosed with peanut allergy at 13months, holy shit I totally would have given him a pb&j had I not known. We were trying to figure out if he had wheat allergy. A live child or someone’s sandwich, no comparison and it shouldn’t be a question.

  62. Okay entitled moms and your precious snowflake problems; listen.

    In the real world, do you avoid going anywhere with your nut allergic child? I mean, ANYwhere? Because that’s what you need to be doing, instead of pretending that you’re some domestic mother warrior for fighting the terrible nut allergy. I know you care for your children. I care deeply for mine as well. We’ve got celiac disease in me and one of my children. Try going out, going to school, doing ANYTHING, even licking a damn envelope because of all the shit that has some inexplicable wheat base in it somewhere.
    But we do go out. We’re super careful and ask lots of questions. You think nut allergies are bad? Psshhh! Try safely ordering something or eating anywhere without SOME worry that you’ll fall victim to cross contamination and be sick for days or even weeks. Try ordering something without first spending 20 minutes explaining to your server, who then poorly translates to a chef, what gluten is. It is as ridiculous as most of the posts I have seen here. Allergies are abound. To foods, animals, fabrics, anything and everything. Guess we ought to all live in our little family bubbles and never come out. Right? I’m just curious what the million moms club here thinks should happen to accommodate their kids.

    • Valerie O. Reply

      It sucks for both of us. Just like you, we go places, but we are careful. We wipe surfaces. We ask questions. We don’t let anyone cook for her. Because while wheat will make you ill for several days/weeks, peanuts will make her dead for several forevers. So yeah. It’s a little different. Not to downplay your suffering. I know you suffer. I’m guessing you send your kid to school every day with lunch prepared at your home so that you reduce his/her exposure to gluten. But if you’re relying on school lunch, then yeah, go rally for separate prep surfaces for the GF kids. Do it! We’ll understand and back you.

      Your kid is a snowflake. So is mine. Our kids are precious to us. Nothing brings out the mama bear in us more than others saying “I don’t care if your kid lives or dies. In fact, I’m gonna engage in risky behaviors that threaten your kid because I’m mad that you’re trying to limit me.” May as well send a loaded gun to school with your kid because IT IS THE SAME. In fact, my kid might have a better chance surviving being shot than ingesting a small amount of peanut butter. Do I feel entitled? Yeah. To a public school education. I want my kid to be educated. I’m entitled to that. Banning peanut products is a small accommodation that all schools should make to ensure safety. They ban guns right? Peanuts are the same. For the record my kid is allergic to the Top 8 (peanuts, tree nuts, fish, shell fish, dairy, soy, wheat, egg) plus all gluten containing grains, beef, bananas, seeds, and select other legumes. All I’m asking for is peanuts. It would be a huge, HUGE step in ensuring her safety. Now… she’s not even 2 yet. I hope she grows out of some/most/all of these allergies, but I understand that she might not outgrow any of them. If that’s the case, we’ll have to home school.

      Back to the snowflake issue – my kid is awesome. She doesn’t deserve to be naturally selected out because she has horrible allergies. She’s funny. She’s silly. She’s smart as a whip. She displays engineering tendencies and has amazing language skills for her age. She doesn’t take shit from anyone. She sings! She dances. She laughs. She’s a human being and she deserves to live. We feed her ten things. She probably should think seriously about not reproducing if allergies are genetic. And once she learns the word reproduce, we’ll start having conversations about that, because our whole family lives through a daily special kind of hell just trying to keep her safe. Nobody here chooses this. Nobody. We’re just trying to keep our kids from dying.

  63. Anaphylaxis isn’t a disease, it’s a symptom. Your kid isn’t diagnosed with it. She has an allergy and an anaphylactic reaction is a symptom of that.

    I feel like if you weren’t suck a jerk about the peanut butter, people might be more receptive.

    Vaccinate your kids– since that came up in previous comments..

  64. Jacquelynn Marra Reply

    I used to balk at allergy parents, particularly those with peanut allergies but after reading first hand accounts of survived reactions and those who know someone who is in a coma from it my heart breaks. I totally support leaving peanuts out of schools and airplanes. I mean no one chooses for their child to have nut allergies or of any kind. It’s impossible to bar all allergens from schools and such but since nuts can get so dusty I get why there are so many schools that do not allow them.

    • So…it’s called Darwinism. Your kid, unfortunately, has some traits that the environment is trying to tell you shouldn’t move on with the species. In no way am I saying that your kid should die because of this, but after having been forwarded another posts of yours on how you feel that people shouldn’t criticize you for the way you speak around your kids, it’s pretty amazing to see how critical you are of others. If schools had to accommodate every single issue, then there wouldn’t be any. It’s unfortunate that some accommodating needs to be made, but it seems that you will be the one who needs to do the accommodating. Your demanding that the world turn exactly as you see fit through the views you espouse in your blog is a pretty comical narcissism you got there. So, in your words, fuck you and your kid. PB&J for lunch…

  65. I lived this same experience. My son was 2 and had the tiniest amount of peanut butter that could fit on the tip of his tiny little finger and within a minute he was turning blue. I grabbed him and my 4 year old daughter and literally flew out the door, no shoes, who knows if I even locked the door and threw them in the car. Literally, I honestly don’t even remember fastening either of them in their car seats, but I do remember running two red lights and passing someone on a sidewalk and made it to the hospital in less than 3 minutes, which was pretty fucking impressive if I do say so myself. (An ambulance would’ve taken 10-12 minutes, so my Mom super-powers kicked in) I didn’t try to park. I valeted myself in front of the ER entrance and don’t even think I turned my car off and ran inside with both kids thrown over each shoulder and within 30 seconds he was getting shot up with epinephrine and benadryl. Fast forward – we got him allergy tested and he’s DEATHLY allergic to peanuts, and a bunch of other shit too. My daughter has no allergies. Guess what – I birthed them both, with the same man, and they both got the same immunizations too. Fuck everyone trying to blame allergies on anything but SCIENCE. The water, the soil, the animals we eat, and the air we breath isn’t even healthy, so stop preaching about what causes it or how things can be prevented because not one place on this rock in which we live has perfect conditions. I too, was “that mom” that had “that kid” that ruined it for the entire class by marking it a “peanut free zone”. It took less than a year for the entire school to become that way and now every school (26 of them!) in the entire district is zoned peanut-free. There’s a LOT of kids with allergies (don’t even get me started on the gluten-free epidemic…), and for anyone to dismiss that or bitch about it is a horrible, heartless person IMO. Anyways, great article Jill. Fuck the haters and their peanut butter 🙂

  66. Mama to a little peanut Reply

    Dear Blunt Mama Bear,

    Thank you for your “blunt” words. I am a first time Mom to a beautiful 9 month old girl. I call her my little peanut because she weighed 5 pounds at birth. and as fate would have it, she is allergic to peanuts. She is not officially diagnosed yet, but when she tried peanut butter for the first time she became red and her tongue became swollen. Thankfully after several hours of discomfort, she was back to her old self.
    Now, I live in fear for many of the reasons you have written about. Fear of isolation, misunderstanding and death. I have always been empathetic for families with allergies and I know that some don’t care or can’t realize that a child’s life is in question.
    I am heartbroken right now for my daughter and what her allergy may mean for her. Thank you for “saying it like it is”.


    Mama to a little peanut.

  67. I just want to know why my child’s fish allergy didn’t get all the hoopla this peanut butter allergy got. I told every teacher about it since the start of school and nothing was ever done about it. I don’t expect people to have to change their ways for my child though! I have taught her since she could speak to let people know about her allergy if she is ever somewhere where food is an issue. Also taught her not to share food at school. Pretty simple really. So maybe teach your kid not to share with that kid who is assuring them that their snack is peanut free.

  68. YES! I work with little ones (don’t have my own yet) and I always found it amusing watching them eat…90% of their food (it seems) ends up elsewhere but their tiny bellies.

    Which is another reason why the peanut butter needs to stay the fuck home.

    I often hear the “you cannot protect kids for every little thing, you gotta prepare them for the real world.” Adults eat with A LOT more care than children.

    When we banned nuts and legumes, parents had a shit fit. I remember one parent silently crying at all of the hate with the nut ban. I felt SO bad for her.

    I care WAY more about all of the children being able to breathe so that they, y’know, stay ALIVE.

    I love peanut butter, but I will never, ever bring it to work. I can save the PB&J for weekend lunches.

    • Anne Rogers Reply

      So how far should this whining go? There was a school in Canada that had to ban all dairy and eggs because one stay at home mother couldn’t be bothered to teach her little brat and instead sued her school district.

      I even read about a British woman allergic to water. Hygiene is a nightmare for her and being out in the rain could be a death sentence. If she were a child instead of an adult should her school be expected to remove water fountains and sinks and tell kids to piss and shit in a hole in the floor?

      Why not boycott the local grocery for selling peanut products? Can’t have an allergic reaction without the allergen, right? Perhaps get big fans to blow away peanut dust in the air at harvest time? They could even generate electricity to marginally offset the obscene cost of making widdle snookums’ world peanut-free!

  69. If my child is born with a deadly nut allergy, I can assure you I will put my big girl pants on and deal with it without expecting everyone else to bow down to my child’s needs. If my child may accidentally be exposed to nuts in a school setting, I shall eliminate that problem…cyber school or home school it it! Problem solved, my child can learn in a nut free zone, I do not have to fear such accidents with my young child for eight hours a day, and I haven’t pissed anyone off! Yay, problem solving!

  70. Joanne metcalfe Reply

    Your post is great… I also have a peanut butter allergic girl BUT “only lazy peoplease swear” as cannot think up better words

  71. I love this. Good for you Momma Bear and just so you know. I just read the headline before I read the whole article and my response first was F THE PEANUT BUTTER!

  72. I see this is a fairly old post, but I’ll add my two cents. For me, (the mother of a child without a food allergy), it seems like a lot of parents make a big deal out of nothing and a lot of allergies are pleas for attention. That’s when people start rolling their eyes at the whole peanut allergy thing. With that being said, if I truly believed a child’s life was threatened by the presence of peanuts, I…and I bet bmost all parents would be more than happy to help keep the classroom a peanut free one. Maybe have a letter go home to explain your situation. Policies are easy to ignore, but if you explain yourself, and you are a real person with this problem, it would probably go a long way to help the situation.

  73. Survival of the fittest.
    If you can’t handle nuts, you’re unfit to survive.

  74. Wow, your bog post would have been much better without the foul language. It may reach more people as well.

    • We are BluntMoms and we swear.
      Feel free to enjoy our salty language in the dark while eating chocolates after your kids are asleep. Even nice suburban church ladies love us as their secret sin.

  75. This is exactly how I feel. I was discussing my girl’s allergies with someone at work the other day and they had the nerve to say, “They shouldn’t punish everyone for one child.” Excuse me? Really? So my child should be punished, my family should be punished if something were to happen to her? I’ve lived the allergy free life. I didn’t truly understand food allergies it until I started living it, but I would have never said that to another parent.

    • Your child is being punished via the form of an allergy. It is not the rest of the world’s fault that you have weak genetic material.

  76. Obviously we all love our children, allergy free or not. But what happens when I give my kid pb toast for breakfast and maybe it’s on their hands when they go to school, seeing how dirty these darn kids are, and then your kid comes in contact with it?

    • Excellent question – I would hope that you’d be a compassionate and responsible parent that had their child use soap and water to wash their hands before they left the house. I am the parent of a peanut and tree nut allergic child that doesn’t support peanut / tree nut free schools as a rule. I do, however, advocate educating others about how to keep allergic kids safe. Frankly, washing your hands after eating isn’t an unreasonable request – and we should all be doing it anyway for a host of other reasons. If you know your kid ate one of the top 8 allergens (peanut, tree nut, milk, egg, wheat, soy, shellfish, fish) wash their hands with soap and water before you send them out into the world. Wash their face. Brush their teeth. If you don’t have access to a sink and soap (like you’re at the park or something) baby wipes are a decent substitute. (Hand sanitizer is not. It won’t remove the proteins that trigger a reaction.)

  77. It’s hard for me to take you seriously with all the cursing in your writing. Uneducated people curse because they don’t have the knowledge to better express their thoughts. You however, are a writer. What is your excuse for such vulgar language. I can’t even remember thhe subject matter because I’m so theown off by the writing “style.”

  78. You might as well keep your kid at home if your mind set is the entire world needs to be safer for you and yours.

    Get a grip on reality and realize you have almost no control over your life and trying to prevent death is like trying to stare into the sun; an impossibility.

    Don’t let your kid ride in the car because 1.3 million people die in car accidents every year. more than 20 million are seriously injured. Cars are super dangerous, but I don’t see you trying to stop people from driving near your child.


  79. The question is, “do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?” the short answer is yes. There is not enough time or money in the world to cater to each persons specific needs. It is your child that has the problem not the school nor the other children. The other children are being unfairly punished because your child’s immune system doesn’t work properly. Children with severe allergies should be given an epipen and educated on how to use it, teachers and dinner staff should also be educated on how to use them and how to spot a reaction before it turns fatal. Try having to explain to a four year old that they can’t have peanut butter because somebody they’ve never met in a class they’ve never heard of can’t eat peanuts. The world does not conform to individuals, individuals conform with the world.

    • Greg, while I don’t support nut-free schools, I do take issue with your comment. An epipen is a life saving emergency medication. Your comment is like saying to someone with a heart condition – go ahead and ride that roller coaster, we have a defibrillator waiting for you. It’s like telling your kid that it’s ok to play with the cleaners under the sink because you have Poison Control on speed dial. The answer isn’t “it’s ok, just know how to use your epi.” The answer is learn how to prevent exposure and limit risk. The Epi is 911. The other stuff is like a seat belt or a bike helmet. I don’t think the ‘seat belt’ is a ban on nuts/peanuts – for one, it doesn’t do diddly squat for kids with anaphylactic allergies to other foods – I do, however, think that it’s educating folks like you on what is really involved in keeping a child safe. Washing hands with soap and water after eating, limiting exposure, etc are a start. As for explaining to your child why he/she might have to forgo a sandwich for someone he/she doesn’t know….that’s called teaching empathy. It’s called teaching compassion. Do you teach your kid to treat others with respect and compassion in general? Because the request to hold off on the PBJ at school is just an extension of that. Here’s what I can tell you – my allergic kid is 13. She’s not been in peanut/nut free schools and I don’t want one for her for a lot of reasons (don’t get me started on the false sense of security they breed) However, she has been teaching her peers about allergies since she was 3 years old in preschool. And there has not been one child who didn’t voluntarily forgo something my kid was allergic to in order to keep her safe. We didn’t ask. We didn’t push it. They understood the risk and they were happy to leave the PBJ at home in order to protect a peer. Kids have amazing compassion and empathy if we don’t discourage it.

  80. I too am the mother of a peanut and tree nut allergic child. And I’m not at all on board with nut-free schools. For starters, how do I tell my allergic child that her allergy is one we’ll make a school avoid, but her BFF with the milk allergy is on her own, as is their friend with the corn allergy. Any food allergy can be life threatening. It’s not just about learning to live in “the real world.” It’s learning to be responsible for your own allergy management and that starts by being able to practice those skills in an environment with a safety net. My daughter is now a teenager. She’s been through preschool, public elementary, & public middle school as an allergic child. She’s never sat at an allergen table. She’s never been in a nut free school. She has, however, been taught from day one how to keep herself safe. She knew at 2 years old not to eat a damn thing without checking a label. She knew at age 2 to recognize letter combo N-U-T and consider it not safe unless she had a parent or trusted adult check it. She knew in preschool only to accept food her teacher (who was well trained) approved or that we went in directly. She knew in preschool to wash her hands after handling food and that her class would be required to do the same. In preschool she also taught her peers about allergies – including what “may contain” labeling meant and how to help keep her safe. In public school she sits at the corner of the lunch table and whoever sits next to her has a nut-free / peanut free meal. She takes nothing she can’t read a label on or we didn’t send in. She doesn’t trade food. It’s been 10+ years of school and not one reaction. And before anyone asks or implies, she is highly allergic. On a scale of 0-5, her tests are 5+. Her first reaction was to a trace amount of peanut butter. she has reacted to nut oils in body products. She’s also 13 and well adjusted. She’s confident. She’s doing all the things every other 13 year old does. My job isn’t just to keep her from her allergens, my job is to empower her to do it herself and it began the day she got diagnosed at 2.

  81. GeorgeWashingtonCarver Reply

    While you are at it… Why don’t you go tell a peanut farmer not to grow any more peanuts. A kid in the farmers child’s class is probably allergic any way. Shame on the peanut farmer.

  82. The only point this never had a job in her life stay at home because she pushed a child out of her crotch “mom” can make is that her child is more important than every one else. Her special participation trophy earning pathetic life is all that matters and ‘f’ every one else and their kids. This lady would cut the throat of any of your children just to make sure her precious baby gets what her WebMD mommy thinks is best. I bet the kid is allergic to bread, too. But not allergic to Star Bucks. Yeah, it sucks your kid is allergic to one of the most common forms of food on the planet. Home School. You’re at home doing nothing all day any way, obviously.

  83. To be perfectly BLUNT, I wouldn’t mind if all of the little snowflakes and their allergies — real and imagined — were removed from the gene pool.

  84. Sorry but can’t bubble wrap your child who has a severe nut allergy no matter what. Least I don’t have a potty mouth like Author need wash her mouth with soap. Might as well call your child bubble boy/girl. They going need go through it once I their life ( I know dangerous but it happens) so preparing them and their friends/classmates/ loves ones etc how give them medicine when it does happen is a given. I has several food allergies (eggs, wheat, and potatoes) I was slowly give food to get use to it I still get minor reaction no where as bad as I did. Also had extreme ezcema (cracking of skin and bleeding) not curable just like nut allergies still there not as bad now minor dry and sensitive. Last animal allergies still bad with that hives and breathing problems but medicine helps. Plus have two cats and a dog. How about doing like my mother and try to find ways help raise funds for better medicine doesn’t require shots. My kid loves peanut butter but he can live off chicken let’s just hope no one deathly allergic to chicken… Though had a friend daughter deathly allergic to beef. Go figure lol.

  85. Fuck you and your genetically inferior spawn, Mama bear.


    Peanut butter.

  86. As someone else mentioned, evolution used to weed out the weak and the sickly. It used to be that if you were allergic to the world, you just didn’t survive. Nowadays, we do everything we can to keep everyone alive, no matter what. As a result, we have a lot of sick and weak people on the planet. Now, I am NOT saying you shouldn’t do whatever you can to keep your kids alive. Not at all. You love them and you want them to live, of course! Where I draw the line is expecting the world to conform to your child and their illness. If you’re child is severely allergic and coming to school poses a great risk to their life, then they need to be homeschooled. That way, they are safe and protected. You can’t expect the world to change to keep YOUR child safe. You just can’t. Once they are adults, they can obviously protect themselves much better and so it will be easier for them to be out in the world.

    But seriously though, the world doesn’t owe you anything. Your child has special needs – YOU deal with it. My kids will continue to eat almond butter sandwiches for lunch. Thanks.

  87. e-n-z-e-i-k-u Reply

    fucking thank you !!!!! I’m allergic to peanuts and all throughout elementary I had to deal with all of that nonsense, sitting alone, being paranoid about the other kids near me and hearing others making fun of it. Bullying. I appreciate hearing at least someone has the intelligence to talk about it like this. peace

  88. Thank you for writing this- I am done trying to be nice to ignorant people. Peanut butter is my favorite food too but now that I have a daughter who is allergic to peanut butter, we no longer have it in house.
    Fuck all these ignorant parents and their peanut butter. fucking teach your children a little empathy. Giving up peanut butter during school hours is a small sacrifice to make so your classmate won’t be harmed. There are a lot of other options to put in your kids lunch and your child isn’t being deprived- trust me.
    I am done being nice.

  89. Then we should also leave gluten, eggs, fish, shellfish and dairy at home as well. Those are all also common food allergens and I know people personally who cannot eat them without severe harm. Where does it stop? A person can develop an allergy to anything. Perhaps we should stop giving kids food at school? Feed them before and after?

  90. Looks like this issue has been thoroughly discussed. Without reading all the comments that proceed mine I would like to add I can see both sides. I was a picky eater too. Luckily I could come home.e for lunch so much mom was ae to control my environment. To those that say the children with allergies could sit in a corner … true but for a few of us, like me, even inhaling the smell of peanut butter can cause an anaphylactic reaction. It only takes a few seconds to die from this type of reaction it is not pleasant. The last time I had a serious reaction I couldn’t work for 3 days because I still had problems breathing. I know another person who went on long term disability for anaphylactic reaction, she was gone for 1 year. I wish there was a solution that worked both ways.

  91. Ridiculous Reply

    As someone skeptical of this whole peanut thing, your “fuck you and your peanut butter” attitude isn’t doing anything to help your case. Makes me more inclined to intentionally search out peanut containing non banned items for my kids lunch than it opens my eyes to how serious this is. No one but you cares about your spawn so quit pretending that it is the end all and be all to anyone but yourself.

    • Could have been a really good motivation however she lost me at “bitches ”
      Aggressive demeaning attitude pissed me off before I could get to the end.

      A good point lost in a terrible delivery!

  92. We are in the same boat only it’s dogs. dogs to to my Asthmatic child what Peanut Butter does.
    Only no one cares. No one listens and no one takes us seriously and dogs are everywhere now. everyone and their mother has a ‘support dog’My child’s right to breathe does not matter. Everyone else comes first. Cannot go to school, cannot go on a plane. cannot go anywhere.
    We can only hope she will out grow it so one day she can have a normal life.

  93. i have to say the idea of making schools nut free for the sake of a few is kind of silly.

    in most cases parents don’t find out until their kid has an allergic reaction, then all of a sudden the parent is on the no nut band wagon. it’s bloody stupid. people say it’s discriminatory to make kids with the same allergy eat at the same table as like minded kids. it’s wrong for schools to tell my kid what he can and can’t eat.

    say a few kids develop allergies to oranges, are you going to ban fruit because of. that’s just out right stupid. and truthfully it is not my job to care for your child. just like it is not your job to care for my child. that’s a round about circular logic. and a very stupid sjw way of looking at things.

    i ate peanut butter sandwiches when i went to school, and their was no problems. i think the better question is how horrible a parent are you to not teach your kids to not eat peanuts or peanut based products. bees kill people due to allergic reactions, should we go kill every single bee because people are allergic to the, i am allergic to penicillin. ban that shit man. that’s not right.

  94. Yeah, this is dumb Reply

    Peanut butter > your kid. Yep, don’t care. Reasonable accommodation is to provide your kid gloves in the cafeteria.

  95. Jesus, sounds like your daughter is pretty fucking stupid. If she doesn’t know not to eat a peanut butter sandwich or any peanut related products was an overbearing mom like you,Then she’ll never have a life. I mean really, what is she supposed to do when you’re not around, when you’ve passed away? Who’s going to hold her hand and tell the world they can eat peanut butter or peanut related products anymore? Who’s going to save her ass then?

  96. I agree and empathize. my child has a serious allergy to dogs and has to carry an epi pen. She has been rushed to the hospital fighting to breathe.
    Same as PB people will never leave their dogs home either.
    The world sucks.

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