I am a paranoid freak. I’ve wired my house like Fort Knox to prevent robbers, predators, and ex wives from coming in and 18 year olds from sneaking out. When my daughter was born my paranoia got even worse. We upgraded our alarm system from sensors to sensors + cameras. Now we have more cameras around our house than Tony Montana and I can watch everything all the time from my handy dandy little iPhone. I’ve learned overtime that having cameras around isn’t always pretty. Below is a compilation of the PROs and CONs:
PRO: Peace of mind knowing that my children are safe and sound.
CON: Spending 95% of my workday glued to my phone. Just. Watching.
PRO: Seeing my big fat dog jump on my brand new sofa and having the ability to yell at him to get off from 20 miles away.
CON: Accidently seeing my 18 year old and his girlfriend “watching a movie.” ugh.
PRO: Busting my husband in the buff getting a drink of water in the middle of the night.
PRO/CON: Catching one of my children flicking the bird right behind my back. (That hurt, but you’re grounded).
CON: Seeing something unacceptable on the camera and having to address it with a sentence starting, “I was watching you, and. . .”
PRO: Ensuring everything is well at the hacienda while you are away on a romantic getaway with your husband.
CON: Checking in at 3 AM from said getaway and seeing a bunch of rowdy teenagers enjoying your empty house and your bottle of Grey Goose.
PRO: Having the ability to yell at them through the camera impersonating an officer or the voice of God.
CON: Said teenagers giving 0 fucks because they know it’s really you and you’re hundreds of miles away.
Overall, you see, it seems that the PROs and CONs are neck and neck, but the value in knowing you’re children are safe and sound is priceless. AWWW. Drop the mic.
(This post originally ran on Matrianarchy.)
About the author: Call me P. I moved to DC 6 years ago in a attempt to get away from all the chaos. It seems as though I ran right into it. I met a good looking fella at work and can’t get enough of him. Together we have 5 children spanning from 6 months to 18 years old. Despite my life being a real life telenovela I did not have a child when I was 12. No, instead I’m privileged to have 3 amazing kids who call me, “Smom.” Short for Stepmom (think Julia Roberts). 2 stepsons, 18 and 11, and a stepdaughter, age 5. In an attempt at a girl takeover we created two beautiful girls who are ages 2 and 6 months. I’d love to have more but my husband tells me we’re done. I’m thinking about pulling the goalie. 😉
Life at my house is complete anarchy where children outnumber the parents 5:2. On top of that we have a dog and a cast of characters who all play a role in the way we roll. It’s hard not to relate and I have plenty to talk about. At the end of the day, misery does love a little company. Along with a bottle of wine. Or two. Read more on my blog.