Winning A New Kind Of Locker Room Fight

We had a new kind of locker room fight in our local school board meeting.

In reality, it had nothing to do with a bathroom, and everything to do with how our kids define themselves. Their gender, to be specific. Over who has the right to use a bathroom. And every child’s right to live according to their definition of who they are, and to do so safely, with dignity.

It blew the doors off a lot of parents’ minds.

They were scared. And pissed off. The fear and anger in that meeting was seriously intense. I know, I was there.

It was a full-frontal confrontation of their beliefs about gender identity. About choice versus a life-altering imperative. Most of the parents clearly did not understand. They felt threatened. And they all wanted to protect their kids from that threat.

What were they afraid of?

As of December 1, 2014, Title IX changed. (You probably know this as the law that forced schools to offer sports for girls.) Now, by federal law, transgender children must be treated according to the gender they identify with. Not their birth genitalia.

“Under Title IX, a recipient of federal funds generally must treat transgender students consistent with their gender identity in all aspects of the planning, implementation, enrollment, operation, and evaluation of single-sex classes.”

Our district chose to create a carefully crafted policy to comply with the new laws. To protect the civil rights of the children already in our district who have identified themselves as transgendered.

It dealt specifically with the use of locker rooms and bathrooms.

Uh-oh.

Parent after parent spoke out. They spoke of the danger their children, especially their daughters, would be in if the policy passed. They spoke about what a terrible idea it was. That the school should simply offer the use of available private bathrooms for any kid who wanted to use them – fully believing that separate but equal accommodations would solve everything. They spoke of an attack on their family values. Their religious values. They talked about genitalia. A lot.

Every single parent who spoke against the policy made incorrect or horribly disrespectful comments about transgendered people. It made no difference that some of the meeting attendees might have transgendered kids. Or be transgendered themselves.

And there were threats. People threatened to vote out the Board members if they passed the policy. Others threatened to sue. One even threatened to bring sexual assault charges if “someone with a penis” entered the bathroom while his daughter was in it. It was ugly.

Yet not one student stood up to speak against the policy. In fact, the only student who spoke up was one brave young woman. And she fully supported the policy. I was blown away by her grace and dignity. Not to mention her courage.

After waiting in line for more than an hour, she chose to speak in support of her fellow students. She stood up to a roomful of angry, angry adults and her peers. In front of about 5 television cameras.

She spoke of the need for tolerance and acceptance. She said she’d never feel threatened by a transgendered student sharing the same bathroom. She spoke of how proud she was that she attended a school where respect for all was a given, not a luxury. She thanked the Board for their efforts to create an environment where everyone felt safe and included. She thanked them for doing the right thing, and for leading the way.

She spoke of the need to act from love, not fear of what we don’t understand. And her fellow students applauded her.

This was never about a bathroom, but a question of civil rights. Dr. King would be proud.

By the way, the Board passed the resolution. That night. Score one big victory for teaching tolerance the right way – by example.

(This post originally ran on Just a Little Left of Center.)

About the author: The quintessential earth mother, Aunt June lives her days eating branches and twigs and providing milk and love to her brood of kids, whom she frequently shoves out on their own to fend for themselves. She’s a true believer in tough love.

Loudly opinionated, she often passes along her thoughts on a wide a variety of topics that make her want to make some noise. Her human mother, whose name remains secret to protect the innocent, crafts these into amusing essays that she shares with the world on her blog, www.justalittleleftofcenter.com.